Gdmfsob

Yesterday a giant package was delivered to my work, full of Lakeland (sweet Lakeland :kiss:) goodies. So, I decide not to run home but to catch the bus.

Bus turns up, and the driver doesn't have change for a fiver. A ticket costs 2 fucking quid, and he doesn't have 3 change! Like hell. Anyway, he sort of smirks and laughs as he says it, so I think 'right, I'll show you :snooty:' and I say a breezy 'thank you anyway!' and get off the bus to walk. Start to wish I wasn't wearing heels on a half hour walk carrying a stupid box.

It's ok, I have my MP3. Then the battery dies. Woe is me! I start to feel really miserable, but then I remember something from years back. I used to live with a bunch of guys who knew this complete tosser. He was the sort of bloke who has 2 football teams (Birmingham and Man U), with one as a back-up in case the other fails. He was a total emo before it really had a name. One day he'd gone for a walk in the park to cheer himself up. He'd been feeling particularly depressed and it was a lovely sunny day outside. As he's walking along he sees a tramp approach, then the tramp drops his trousers, squats in front of him and takes a giant shit.

As I was walking along I started to picture in my head his face doing a proper 'Mwow mwow mwow' sad expression, and I ended up laughing so hard I almost dropped my box.

Anyone else do something/think something in particular when you're pissed off to cheer yourself up?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

the tramp drops his trousers, squats and takes a giant shit on his face

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fixed

He wasn't laying on the floor, but yes that would be good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Bus turns up, and the driver doesn't have change for a fiver. A ticket costs 2 fucking quid, and he doesn't have 3 change! Like hell. Anyway, he sort of smirks and laughs as he says it, so I think 'right, I'll show you :snooty:' and I say a breezy 'thank you anyway!' and get off the bus to walk. Start to wish I wasn't wearing heels on a half hour walk carrying a stupid box.

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Just to make you feel a little better..

In the UK, they can't refuse to take you if you dont have the money.

They used to, however after a few cases of women being raped and kids left in the middle of nowhere, things changed.

If a passenger had no money for his/her fare. They should ask for an unpaid fare voucher. This is just a slip of paper that the passenger writes his/her details on and the price of the fare. They can then travel on the bus and pay the fare at a later date.. or failing that, they get a penalty fare sent in the post.

I'm forever getting free rides off Stagecoach, coz the driver is usually too busy to do it then and there.. and when i get off he can't be arsed.

:eyebrows:

Interesting.

Do you have to present ID?

If not, it'd be a double crime if a rapist got a free fare then proceeded to sexually molest some innocent female punter on the train/bus he/she just got on for gratis, like.

:unsure:

I've always had to, dunno about the situation if you have none.. but kids usually dont carry any do they?

Think it only works on "local" services too.. can't see it happening inter-city. But the Megabus only costs a quid anyway.

As I was walking along I started to picture in my head his face doing a proper 'Mwow mwow mwow' sad expression, and I ended up laughing so hard I almost dropped my box.

What a stupid ass sentence this is. You are surely on drugs laughing at someone taking a shit. How the great war was won with the likes of individuals with your interllect I will never understand.

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Originally Posted by Old Geezer

How the great war was won with the likes of individuals with your interllect I will never understand.

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:glagpinch:

:glagpinch:

Silly old cunt.

He's never gotten through a coherent sentence ever. One would've thought they would have the medical technology to remove shrapnel from spastics' brains by now. :no:

They owe it to them to cure them after pushing them forward as cannon-fodder, like.

Poor old geezer. Damn them nazis. And damn the Marine Corps.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rat Faced

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Bus turns up, and the driver doesn't have change for a fiver. A ticket costs 2 fucking quid, and he doesn't have 3 change! Like hell. Anyway, he sort of smirks and laughs as he says it, so I think 'right, I'll show you :snooty:' and I say a breezy 'thank you anyway!' and get off the bus to walk. Start to wish I wasn't wearing heels on a half hour walk carrying a stupid box.

---

Just to make you feel a little better..

In the UK, they can't refuse to take you if you dont have the money.

They used to, however after a few cases of women being raped and kids left in the middle of nowhere, things changed.

If a passenger had no money for his/her fare. They should ask for an unpaid fare voucher. This is just a slip of paper that the passenger writes his/her details on and the price of the fare. They can then travel on the bus and pay the fare at a later date.. or failing that, they get a penalty fare sent in the post.

I'm forever getting free rides off Stagecoach, coz the driver is usually too busy to do it then and there.. and when i get off he can't be arsed.

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Is that true? Wow, that's really useful to know, thanks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chalice

:eyebrows:

Interesting.

Do you have to present ID?

If not, it'd be a double crime if a rapist got a free fare then proceeded to sexually molest some innocent female punter on the train/bus he/she just got on for gratis, like.

:unsure:

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Someone's got to think of these things haven't they Chalice? :smilie4:

In other news, happy birthday Squeamous.

:)

I tend to think of squirrels and hedgehogs, fluffy kittens and pink babies and wonder if I might win the Walker's flavour prize. That cheers me up.

Old Geezer been given the bum's rush?

I thought him "mostly harmless" (at least to other people)