Uses for Mouldy's willy

Skweek's, mine and Crabby's cheating internet whore fund is running low, and given current projections pretty soon we'll run out of cash for virtual condoms and scratchy nylon lace underwear from Ann Summers.

Well, we don't want to to say it but.....we think Mouldy's been moonlighting. There, I've said it. We'll hurt him in a way that won't prevent him working later.
Either that, or no-one's interested in his trouser snake any more :(.

Can anyone think of a way we can make this business work? I'm thinking we need to diversify out from the meaningless dirty sex industry. Perhaps hire him out as a circus freak act for children's parties and Bar Mitzvahs. Any other suggestions?

Maybe we could hire him out as one of those Indian snake bewitchers?

Laundry rack? It can be one of those novelty gifts.

I've got it! We give him the clap and a yellow jacket and he can be a lollipop man :devil:

fishing bait? :unsure:

Fishing rod maybe :snooty:

We don't deal in inferior goods I'll have you know

It's quite thin and pliable then? :unsure:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Fishing rod maybe :snooty:

We don't deal in inferior goods I'll have you know

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Ohhhh there's an idea! We could hire him out to Spanish fishermen and they could attach a net to the peen and use it for drag-netting. Or perhaps the Nips could use him for harpooning whales (when he's not busy doing that of a Friday night :shifty:).

He's close enough to Brighton to send him there some nights, with the odd weekend in Plymouth when the navy's in... :unsure:


How come every thread has been reduced to Mulders tackle?

You've obviously never seen it.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Thankfully you've obviously never seen it.

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Fixed.

Use it to bludgen seals to death with.

See that sounds like someone who knows it could be used in that way.

I find it very suspicious that Crabby has misspelled 'bludgeon'.

Maybe it's mouldy!

Sorry I'm tired and concentrating on about a million other things. Including baking a Dutch apple cake.

Some women are very scared of spiders. He could use it to prod under beds to make sure they are spider free.

Just a suggestion like :dabs:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

I find it very suspicious that Crabby has misspelled 'bludgeon'.

Maybe it's mouldy!

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Maybe he's bludgeoned her with it, and damaged her spelling sense you mean ?

The tourist attraction idea is no good btw, I have a feeling the girls of Eastbourne have probably got enough offers to see Mouldy willies as it is.

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Some women are very scared of spiders. He could use it to prod under beds to make sure they are spider free.

Just a suggestion like :dabs:

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He could just walk under and have a look, like.:unsure:

He could try using it to have sex with.

We tried that, demand is whithering.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

We tried that, demand is whithering.

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Thats not mouldies fault, its been cold down there.

:drummer:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

You've obviously never seen it.

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Silly Ratty :noes:

:eyebrows: