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i was gonna watch porn last night (as well as family guy) but my internets went down for some time and so I watched newsnight with jeremy paxman instead. now i want to fuck everything in the office. i could go smash one out in the mens room but its pretty gross in there. And there's three other people that know the code to the server room door and they're all in today.
im going to try and somehow trick our new receptionist into touching my penis with her mouth.... But how :eyebrows:
Masturbation has that effect yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by assemblee
Bread roll - tomato ketchupQuote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
certain risk attached obviousment :shifty:
Why don't you buy a Paxman mask?
Blind terror FTW!Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
You could tell her that, due to company safty policies, she is required to learn CPR: Cardio Penile Resuscitation. And as an added bonus, you could tell her that refresher courses are required every so often.:naughty:
The old, "Excuse me, miss...Does this cloth smell like chloroform?" trick. Almost never fails.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
Then, before she wakes up, kick her with moderate pressure in the back of her head, then tell her she shouldn't lean so far back in her chair. Casually mention that others have been fired for acting in such an unsafe manner, and that you won't tell anyone.
She'll think she owes you a favor.
You are welcome.
Apparently it works for janitors, not sure about receptionists.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KgH-fCqpSU
Backup plan is in that video too.
Oops, I've just realised I got the wrong end of the stick. I thought the randiness was caused by watching Newsnight :pinch:Quote:
Originally Posted by BigglesBlind terror FTW!Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
A simple mistake or a Feudian slip revealing fantasies of being read the news by Paxman :shifty:Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousOops, I've just realised I got the wrong end of the stick. I thought the randiness was caused by watching Newsnight :pinch:Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
Actually that is so bizarre as to be almost infeasible.
Hmmmmm! Maybe not the news, but possibly a nice Christopher Hitchens essay before bed...Quote:
Originally Posted by BigglesA simple mistake or a Feudian slip revealing fantasies of being read the news by Paxman :shifty:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Actually that is so bizarre as to be almost infeasible.
:ermm: I hope the cleaner isn't still there when I get to work tomorrow morning.
I dread to ask but why?Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousHmmmmm! Maybe not the news, but possibly a nice Christopher Hitchens essay before bed...Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
:ermm: I hope the cleaner isn't still there when I get to work tomorrow morning.
Because all this talk of Paxman is making me feel rapey. And the cleaner is pretty ugly and old. Not that that's stopped me before.Quote:
Originally Posted by BigglesI dread to ask but why?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
A girl has got to do what a girl's got to do. Does he wear those latex gloves? - I can see that adding to your passion.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousBecause all this talk of Paxman is making me feel rapey. And the cleaner is pretty ugly and old. Not that that's stopped me before.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
I'd bang the shit out of paxman but only if Sir Trevor McDonald got involved too!1 And at a minimum I'd want moira stewart tickling my balls the whole time!!!
Attachment 84488
She's fugly!
No she is not :huh:Quote:
Originally Posted by iLOVENZB
Wonder if Squeamous' cleaner has escaped with his life and mop intact. :unsure:
How the fuck do you know about my latex glove fetish. Have you been looking at my internets? :ermm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
He's cowering in the mop closet. Well, I say cowering....occasionally he scratches on the door and begs to be let out. Men aren't what they once were.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
You mean this?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
http://rt.com/news/hairdresser-turns...ave/?fullstory
That's pretty much the same things that I was going to tell him. Looks you and me like to abuse women in similar ways.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
Remember: there would be no "abuse" without "-use", and women like to be useful. That use is up to you. :yup:
You are a scientist the latex thing is a given.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousHow the fuck do you know about my latex glove fetish. Have you been looking at my internets? :ermm:
He's cowering in the mop closet. Well, I say cowering....occasionally he scratches on the door and begs to be let out. Men aren't what they once were.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
Poor chap = I have an image in my head from the early 70s. Wicked Wanda I think it was. (An exceptionally kinky and satirical cartoon from a porno mag that would be lucky to make it to the middle shelf these days).
Google is your fiend or something else
Attachment 84527
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
'She eventually let the man go on Monday, March 16, saying: “Get out of my sight!”Viktor went straight to hospital as his genitals were injured, and then to the police.
Olga was resentful when she was taken by the police.
“What a bastard,” the woman said about Viktor. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1.000 roubles (around $ 30) when he left.”
To be honest she sounds like a reasonable woman, and he did take the money. Plus, genital injury is pretty much a hazard of normal sexual activity for women. Dude needs to man the fuck up.
(yes, exactly like that)
:happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
http://rt.com/files/news/hairdresser.../rapper858.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
The article included this picture of Olga, which doesn't make me think 3 days of handcuffs and Viagra with her would be too bad. Crybaby. Now if Olga had been 375 lbs, with facial hair, and tattoos, it would be another story... I'd want a minimum of $45. I have standards, you know. :P
Personally I'd be proud as fuck of injured genitals (and I have been:naughty:). What card carrying, 100% unadulterated, prize winning nonce !
I've never sexed a woman with a pixelated face, maybe scary at first, but I guess you can get used to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
Does disease fall under as a type of injury?Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
I don't know why he's proud of it, masturbating with a cheese-grater is a sign of desperation, not prowess. :idunno:
She was one of the failed experiments produced by later generations of horny teenagers who stumbled upon reruns of Weird Science.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky