Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72

Previously on stuttering freak brother update we learned how, despite my best efforts, the enfant terrible went about his dastardly and profoundly stupid deeds. Violence, institutional impotence, speech impediments and brainlessness figured largely in our expanding chronicle. Last we saw him, the miscreant had imposed criminal damage unto his ankle tag and had jollied off into the night; stammering something about liberty.

This liberty was short-lived. He was summarily apprehended in possession of a screwdriver with intent, and was invited to complete the remainder of his commission, tax free, with visits once a week. Things were mercifully quiet until he extracted the eyeball of another inmate with a pool cue. The case is pending. As is the armed robbery charge I mentioned a while hence.

He has since been released into the custody of my mother, and has since snipped off the ankle tag once more and presented himself for psychological analysis, telling them that he wants to kill a priest. (Kill a priest, that's my favourite thing he's ever come off with). This lasted two fucking days. One of the nurses caught him with ganja. Violence and stuttering ensued, and he vanished into a convenient hedge.

Last I heard he threatening to kill himself if my mother didn't give him money for cigarettes.

Just goes to show the kind of psychological damage that comes from having a midget brother.

Edit: Is this s'posed to be for real? This is technically "news" and not an update for me

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Originally Posted by chavis

Last I heard he threatening to kill himself if my mother didn't give him money for cigarettes.

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Does he also threaten getting fat when your mother doesn't allow him to have a second piece of pie?

He's not a midget. He's a stuttering freak psychopath.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

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Originally Posted by chavis

Last I heard he threatening to kill himself if my mother didn't give him money for cigarettes.

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Does he also threaten getting fat when your mother doesn't allow him to have a second piece of pie?

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It's my mother we're talking about here. The first time she saw pie was when I showed her a picture of it.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Edit: Is this s'posed to be for real? This is technically "news" and not an update for me

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All too real, I'm afraid.

this just makes me wonder all the more about how you turned out normal.

Normal! chavis! Really?

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

this just makes me wonder all the more about how you turned out normal.

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Normal is relative.

Your relative isn't.

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Your relative isn't.

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Yeah, that's wot I meant, you dopey fucker.

No wai!1:o

Possession of a screwdriver with "intent. His intent to continually screw himself seems evident. While you have to endure the real life of it, I do rather enjoy these updates. Quite surprised he was not fully jailed up while waiting for his big trial. Your Justice system must be as tattered, and askew as ours. Are your jails filled with casualties of a "War on Drugs" similar to ours, or do you tend to use them for actual criminals (obviously ones "more criminal" than your brother)?

if by "casualties of a war on drugs" you mean junkies that have been on the rob etc, then yes. There are "real" criminals too.

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

if by "casualties of a war on drugs" you mean junkies that have been on the rob etc, then yes. There are "real" criminals too.

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Sorry, I assumed our failed "War on Drugs" was known to be a failure outside of our borders. We have certainly pressured enough foreign countries into joining in.

Actually, what I was referring to was more of a War on the Casual Marijuana User. People have spent years in jail for non-violent offenses involving smallish amounts of pot/plants, lost their houses/cars/boats/etc. At the same time, our prison system has grown drastically, and other criminals have gotten out.

The US's "War on Drugs" has been a disaster in terms of cost, justice, and personal liberties. I am somewhat happy it is not one of the "imports" that has arrived along with McDonalds...

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

if by "casualties of a war on drugs" you mean junkies that have been on the rob etc, then yes. There are "real" criminals too.

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Sorry, I assumed our failed "War on Drugs" was known to be a failure outside of our borders. We have certainly pressured enough foreign countries into joining in.

Actually, what I was referring to was more of a War on the Casual Marijuana User. People have spent years in jail for non-violent offenses involving smallish amounts of pot/plants, lost their houses/cars/boats/etc. At the same time, our prison system has grown drastically, and other criminals have gotten out.

The US's "War on Drugs" has been a disaster in terms of cost, justice, and personal liberties. I am somewhat happy it is not one of the "imports" that has arrived along with McDonalds...

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The U.S. a country of 311 million people currently houses 2 million of them in prison, this is actually one quarter of the world's prison population. From this sum you can extrapolate that either A. the inhabitants of the U.S. are inherently a great deal more criminal than the rest of us, or B. the legal system is a tad overzealous.

Also the fact that under federal law marijuana is treated as a Class A drug and carries the same penalties as possession or distribution of Heroin, while the rest of the world treats possession at least as a minor offence and in many cases not even a prisonable one.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

The U.S. a country of 311 million people currently houses 2 million of them in prison, this is actually one quarter of the world's prison population. From this sum you can extrapolate that either A. the inhabitants of the U.S. are inherently a great deal more criminal than the rest of us, or B. the legal system is a tad overzealous.

Also the fact that under federal law marijuana is treated as a Class A drug and carries the same penalties as possession or distribution of Heroin, while the rest of the world treats possession at least as a minor offence and in many cases not even a prisonable one.

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Some might look at our International policies, and make a decent argument for "A".

However, all points you make are facts. Some areas have even privatized prisons in hopes of being able to sustain "demand" for cells. This has also helped continue the cycle of putting more in prisons (you've gotta be able to pay for those new prisons :ermm: ).

Along the same lines, it took roughly 2 years of excruciating back pain before my doctor prescribed narcotic pain meds for me. After being on morphine and oxy-codone for a year, I was getting a STRONG feeling she was getting antsy about prescribing them. I recently kicked the morphine- 3 weeks come Tuesday :01: . It was pretty awful stuff anyway, but my point is that our government has dug themselves in deep by ruining the lives of so many marijuana users that they have to be VERY MUCH anti-narcotics (since these drugs are often harder than the villainized pot) even at the expense of pain sufferers.

TBH, if the "Legalized Marijuana" sellers here weren't such a joke, I would have preferred to use that for my pain than the expensive, high-side effect producing, narcotics. I asked my doctor about getting a prescription once, and she pointed out that real, licensed, employable doctors do not write those prescriptions. She did say that she thought I would be one of very few she had seen who would benefit. That made me respect her quite a bit- at least she is willing to admit that marijuana is less harmful than morphine/oxy-codone. There aren't enough professionals/government officials around who will take that stand under our national political climate.

We feature an Incarceration-Industrial Complex in the U.S., and due to lobbying and populist rhetoric, we've grown it into a huge industry. All of those with a vested interest prevent any real reform from taking place (since support for it isn't quite overwhelming enough).

An interesting note, for anyone that remembers the Freakonomics movingpicture, the Supreme Court decision to uphold a woman's right to have an abortion correlates strongly with reduced crime rates. However, it was the private prison system that rode those figures of success...

In an update, our country has been debating decriminalising marijuana for quite awhile. We are having a general election this year and one of the right wing parties is promising if they get into parliament they will decriminalise marijuana, personally I think it is a vote grab by a minor party (ACT only has 2% of the vote) but it has set the debate up to be an election issue.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

if by "casualties of a war on drugs" you mean junkies that have been on the rob etc, then yes. There are "real" criminals too.

---

Sorry, I assumed our failed "War on Drugs" was known to be a failure outside of our borders. We have certainly pressured enough foreign countries into joining in.

Actually, what I was referring to was more of a War on the Casual Marijuana User. People have spent years in jail for non-violent offenses involving smallish amounts of pot/plants, lost their houses/cars/boats/etc. At the same time, our prison system has grown drastically, and other criminals have gotten out.

The US's "War on Drugs" has been a disaster in terms of cost, justice, and personal liberties. I am somewhat happy it is not one of the "imports" that has arrived along with McDonalds...

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We don't have those stupid, cawking laws. Where you're from sounds like a modern take on Nazis, or something else. You can pretty much smoke a joint wherever you like here. (be sensible, obviousment) If a policeman caught you with one, he most likely would tell you to be a bit more discreet, or something along those lines. Unless he's a cunt, in which case he'd probably hit you with his stick.

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Originally Posted by chavis

Previously on stuttering freak brother update we learned how, despite my best efforts, the enfant terrible went about his dastardly and profoundly stupid deeds. Violence, institutional impotence, speech impediments and brainlessness figured largely in our expanding chronicle. Last we saw him, the miscreant had imposed criminal damage unto his ankle tag and had jollied off into the night; stammering something about liberty.

This liberty was short-lived. He was summarily apprehended in possession of a screwdriver with intent, and was invited to complete the remainder of his commission, tax free, with visits once a week. Things were mercifully quiet until he extracted the eyeball of another inmate with a pool cue. The case is pending. As is the armed robbery charge I mentioned a while hence.

He has since been released into the custody of my mother, and has since snipped off the ankle tag once more and presented himself for psychological analysis, telling them that he wants to kill a priest. (Kill a priest, that's my favourite thing he's ever come off with). This lasted two fucking days. One of the nurses caught him with ganja. Violence and stuttering ensued, and he vanished into a convenient hedge.

Last I heard he threatening to kill himself if my mother didn't give him money for cigarettes.

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Were they Menthols?

This is Hermit The Frog reporting for Sesame Street News with another fast-breaking news story.

On the lam and out in the cold, our antagonist shunted and hesitated from dive to dive, the Man ever-pursuant in bumming out the kids. He popped his incompetent head up from caper to caper; shop-lifting and the like. True to form, nothing resembling intelligence.

His driving ban having been recently lifted, he reapplied for his license. The world was to be his racetrack. In a couple of weeks time. In celebration of his forthcoming freedom of mobility, he promptly stole an automobile belonging to my uncle. Once again the omniscient, killjoy motherfucking Man was on his shit like a skin-grafted stop sign. He was arrested.

Charged with vehicle theft, reckless endangerment and an assortment of misdemeanors generally pertaining to being a stupid cunt, he has again taken up residence in the House Of Many Windows wherein he awaits trail for the armed robbery we've discussed at length hitherto.

In the cells, he launched into one of his violent, epileptic skits. Whereupon, he was cable tied by the arms and ankles and allowed to piss himself. Crime pays, kids.

Enough about the good son, let's hear about the trouble-maker...

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Enough about the good son, let's hear about the trouble-maker...

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I'm doing sweet.

Everything was shite up until an hour ago. Now someone has paid for my flight to San Fransisco.

I didn't have to threaten anybody.

I know you all will find this pretty hard to believe, but being a helluva fucking nice guy has its benefits, innit.

I remember you mentioning your interest in coming to the States a few months back. If you have commented on your plans further, I must have missed the post(s). Are you going to spend the entire time in SF? Unless I'm mistaken, your earlier thoughts involved a road trip. Any chance you'll be headed towards Eastern Washington? If so, we've got a spare room, and I can promise some satisfying meals. Would be quite interested in meeting such a nice fucking guy. :)

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I remember you mentioning your interest in coming to the States a few months back. If you have commented on your plans further, I must have missed the post(s). Are you going to spend the entire time in SF? Unless I'm mistaken, your earlier thoughts involved a road trip. Any chance you'll be headed towards Eastern Washington? If so, we've got a spare room, and I can promise some satisfying meals. Would be quite interested in meeting such a nice fucking guy. :)

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That's a terribly nice thing to say.

If you hadn't acted all girley in the other place, you'd know that the missus and the kids are fucking off to New York and Florida without me. I don't do family holidays. Anymore.

An estranged cousin (recently embraced, his dad died) has decided that I rawk the fucking sawks and wants me to accompany him to meet the extended siblings his dad created in San Fran.

I highly doubt that I'll be heading towards Washington, but I take the offer expressly to my heart, man.

Your loss.

I saw road trip and San Fran... I just did that trip this summer, now you're off mimicking me chavis. Will your wife and kids be joining me on Christmas, I think you instructed me to punch someone in the face, right? I might as well admit at this point that I currently suffer Florida, sunny humid ignorant fucking Florida.

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Originally Posted by chavis

That's a terribly nice thing to say.

If you hadn't acted all girley in the other place, you'd know that the missus and the kids are fucking off to New York and Florida without me. I don't do family holidays. Anymore.

An estranged cousin (recently embraced, his dad died) has decided that I rawk the fucking sawks and wants me to accompany him to meet the extended siblings his dad created in San Fran.

I highly doubt that I'll be heading towards Washington, but I take the offer expressly to my heart, man.

Your loss.

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My offer stands, and you are among a handful of individuals I would make such an offer to.

As for the "girly-ness", I won't disagree. My best defense is that I was in the middle of 4 days of cold-turkey morphine withdrawal (I had been on it for over a year). I beat it, but it was hell. Thing is, I've had more fun sticking to the general sections. That section pulled me into too much political bullshit, and it wasn't fun anymore- not for me; not for the section. Even after the withdrawal ended, I still don't want to go back. Anyplace that won't have Macky isn't good enough for me either. :snooty:

Spoiler: Show

:P

I've been happy to come across almost all of the members in various threads, and am relieved no one has spat upon me (yet). :D If they had, I would understand why. Regardless, FST remains my online stomping ground... :happy:

You ladies save your private section talk for private girl scout meetings.

I think the more pertinent issue here is: If the chavis brothers were given a task to kill each other (let's say by god in a dream), who would come out on top?

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Originally Posted by Darth Rings

If the chavis brothers were given a task to kill each other (let's say by god in a dream), who would come out on top?

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I'll take the one who isn't constantly pursuing a Darwin Award.

Now if it were a question of you vs chal-lite, I'll take the one who takes on bigger, stronger opponents than innocent kittens. :yup:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I'll take the one who isn't constantly pursuing a Darwin Award.

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You know, that's really a difficult one. Chavis's brother sounds like an absolute badass. Stealing cars, and playing pool are top 2 on a lot of women's lists for ideal man qualities. I'd be surprised if he doesn't have a few rape spawn, or has only had deer vagina his entire life.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Now if it were a question of you vs chal-lite, I'll take the one who takes on bigger, stronger opponents than innocent kittens. :yup:

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I have to warn you. I've been training in aikido. There's a catocalypse coming soon, so I've been getting ready for it. Although going out on a limb here, and assuming the breadth of your knowledge when it comes to martial arts, I'll assume you're missing the joke.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Anyplace that won't have Macky isn't good enough for me either. :snooty:

Spoiler: Show

:P

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You're going to have to renege on that once I get banned here.

On a topic related note, I have postponed writing my brother all day. I haven't talked to him in 2 years but it would only be prudent to bury one of the hatchets before he shows up at my place next weekend. Family is flying in from Colorado (on account of a 40-year HS reunion) and it prompted my sister to come down from NY. Now there's a family gathering of sorts that I'll be hosting. I've put off communicating with said estranged brother because I don't really want to be forced to exclaim it's his vast ignorance that's the root of me not wanting anything to do with him (even if he's the only family I have in the vicinity). One way or the other, I can't seem to find a method to spirit away my discomfort of the situation.

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Originally Posted by Darth Rings

I have to warn you. I've been training in aikido. There's a catocalypse coming soon, so I've been getting ready for it. Although going out on a limb here, and assuming the breadth of your knowledge when it comes to martial arts, I'll assume you're missing the joke.

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I always pictured you as more the Akita style- treeing cats, chasing cars, howling at sirens.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I always pictured you as more the Akita style- treeing cats, chasing cars, howling at sirens.

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There's more to it than that. I also sneak into bed with your wife when you're not around, pissed all over your car, and dragged my naked ass all over your carpet.

And To think you've been doing doggy-style all these years. :no:

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Originally Posted by Darth Rings

There's more to it than that. I also sneak into bed with your wife when you're not around, pissed all over your car, and dragged my naked ass all over your carpet.

And To think you've been doing doggy-style all these years. :no:

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Hope you get mange. :fist:

I've had terrible luck trying to reconcile with estranged family members. I end up regretting it every time I try. I'm sure there is something hard-wired into us genetically that makes us feel some connection (maybe it's simply history, or need to know we belong to a group)- it sure as hell isn't logic. :frusty:

I wish you luck. I assume you must have some good relatives in the bunch who make hosting the gathering worthwhile. Focus on them, not "the problem"...

As for the discussion with the brother...must the discussion be head-on? Perhaps instead of "vast ignorance", it could be softened to "different paths, interests, and views"- these things keep a lot of people apart. :sly: You don't have to be best buds, you just want to get past the few days without an explosion/confrontation. His failings don't really have any bearing on your life, so there is no need to take offense of them. Do your best to keep the interactions light in nature- maybe try to think of him as a co-worker you don't particularly enjoy working with, but find confrontation with him to be harmful and without benefit. Just don't commit to any future plans with him that you'll regret- nothing concrete; nothing one-on-one personal (that type of get together is more difficult to cancel out on later). If he wants to make plans, try to turn it into a group gathering that you can get out of if need be. By then, the reunion will be over, and he can get butthurt about it without you, or your guests, having to deal with him.

I think I'm having a difficult time sorting it out because I don't know how to deal with dumb people. You recall the kind of blatant unawareness and just straight up ignorance that you find in the invite section? That's about the level my brother is at. When you normally have rationale, logic and deductive reasoning as effective tools in conversation and relating from one person to another, then having those rendered useless, it's a bit frustrating to say the least. It's like asking me to use a screwdriver, plyers, and an allen wrench to use as ingredients in chocolate pudding.

The views apart (he lacks any) and even his ignorance were things that I tolerated for a little while once we started talking again the first time (he had a bit of a troubled past, not much unlike chavis's brother with the drugs, jail, suicide threats, and other shit). He started getting his shit in order, found a wife, maintained a job, spends $2000/year on costumes for their chihuahua, you know the typical American life. He started asking for my help and would get agitated when I explained some of the things I recommended (he just wanted answers without all the words). It's when he started merging his ignorance with insecurity and began a tirade accusing me of trying to dictate his life and drive a wedge between him and his wife (over something so ridiculously inane, I can't even stomach the elaboration).

So I'm thinking ignoring the whole thing and remaining casually objective. I've gotten pretty good at that lately.

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It's when he started merging his ignorance with insecurity

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Ouch! That is a BAD pairing. I've got different reasons for separating from my family, but the answer is the same- nothing good will come from fixing that relationship. He's toxic. Just do what you have to do to get through the reunion. I'd almost be tempted to ask him to not come. However, doing so would play into his hands of making you into the bad guy- similarly to the example you gave regarding the "wedge". I know the type, and just thinking about the situation has elevated my blood pressure.

I appreciate that this may sound harsh, but you've just got to let people go if they don't bring anything to your life. I don't believe in nepotism. If people want to spend time with me they don't automatically get to jump the queue because we're related; that would be unfair and against my meritocratic principles. In short, don't let emotions get between you and a sound logical decision.
Chavis, Macky, your relatives sound like they come from the same spawn-pool as my sister. If I can let her die of cancer without breaking and avoid even sending birthday and Xmas cards to her sociopathic retarded son, and look each one of my extended family in the eye while I do it, you can wipe the family shits right out of your butt cracks with no problems. I have faith in you both :hug:

News just in from the front...

On remand and in demand, our kid has been pulled up on fresh internal charges for having redistributed his antipsychotic medication to his wing-mates. Knowing what I know of him, he wouldn't give away free drugs (unless under duress), so I imagine some manner of jail-bartering has taken place and the Man got wind of it. The immediate upshot is that he'll have his medication removed or he'll have to ingest it under scrutiny. I'm guessing the latter cos they really don't need to be managing our kid when he's not completely monged out on psyche meds.

The little cunt had the cheek to complain to my long-suffering mother that I don't come to visit him in prison. I got the guilt treatment over to phone from her, and I listened for about 5 minutes, before saying to myself 'fuck this', and spent the next half hour pinpointing exactly why I don't visit him; his treatment and flagrant disregard for her being the foremost motivation, or lack thereof. I made the error of telling her that he's 'no brother of mine', and I've been paying for it ever since.

Anyway, happy fucking christmas, our kid. This'll be another year where you fail to acknowledge your nieces and nephews, you selfish little toerag.