I've Got Cancer.

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10-11-2011, 09:18 PM
chalice

I've Got Cancer.

Of the cunt gland.

Little did I know, that when I started being a cunt that it'd turn out this tragic way. I enjoyed it, of course. We all do. Some of us indulge in it more than others. No harm in it, we think. But we're wrong-diddly-wong-dong to the max.

Turns out, according to my metaphysical quack, that the employment of cuntery has been proven by experts in Germany/France to be unbeneficial to ones' health. Seems fairly conclusive to my experience with French and German cunts.

As a direct medical result of being a cunt, it seems, I will now die. Not a good outcome for me, but it was worth it.

I welcome your tributes.
10-11-2011, 10:50 PM
mjmacky

Re: I've Got Cancer.

"Why does it sound like you've given up", he asks amidst the hope of an eternal dormancy of the obvious response.
10-11-2011, 10:54 PM
chalice

Re: I've Got Cancer.

'I'll never give up', he spluttered, writhing, evacuating sputum.

Nev-fucking-arrrrr!!!
10-11-2011, 11:05 PM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

You could have yer cunt removed, then have Rings sown in its place. One would hardly be able to tell the difference. :idunno:
10-11-2011, 11:07 PM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Sorry, I was thinking "anal warts". My mistake.... :(
10-11-2011, 11:10 PM
chalice

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by megabyteme

You could have yer cunt removed, then have Rings sown in its place. One would hardly be able to tell the difference. :idunno:

Except for the fact that Rings is a daft bastard and I'm a fucking legend, like.

I could see how you would fail to see that, though, emo-kid.

I lost all respect for you since you flounced off the hidden section. After that it got good.
10-11-2011, 11:50 PM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chavis

After that it got good.

See...I knew I was the one fucking it up. :emo:
10-11-2011, 11:53 PM
chalice

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by megabyteme

Quote:

Originally Posted by chavis

After that it got good.

See...I knew I was the one fucking it up. :emo:

Taaawaaatt.
10-12-2011, 12:00 AM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

At least I don't have cunt cancer. :snooty:
10-12-2011, 12:01 AM
chalice

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Neither do I.

Made you post, though.
10-12-2011, 12:04 AM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Bastard. Thought I smelled something fishy...
10-12-2011, 12:05 AM
chalice

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by megabyteme

Bastard. Thought I smelled something fishy...

That'll be your mum.
10-12-2011, 01:13 AM
Artemis

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Your cunt gland seems to be in fine working form there chav, are you sure it wasn't just in need of some exercise ?
10-12-2011, 01:18 AM
mjmacky

Re: I've Got Cancer.

A tumor indicates that the cunt has gained mass. Therefore, a laisser faire methodology would result in chavis becoming an even bigger cunt
10-12-2011, 01:27 AM
Artemis

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjmacky

A tumor indicates that the cunt has gained mass. Therefore, a laisser faire methodology would result in chavis becoming an even bigger cunt

If that were possible :naughty:
10-12-2011, 02:50 AM
IdolEyes787

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Excuse my lack of education but where exactly is the cunt gland located and what exactly does it secrete?
10-12-2011, 02:53 AM
IdolEyes787

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Also is it possible that you were misdiagnosed and being the unapologetic druggie that you are, haven't just caught the aids?
10-12-2011, 03:01 AM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Excuse my lack of education but where exactly is the cunt gland located and what exactly does it secrete?

Videos such as those are against site rules. See Rart for the truly "educational ones... :fear:
10-12-2011, 03:31 AM
Quarterquack

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by megabyteme

You could have yer cunt removed, then have Rings sown in its place. One would hardly be able to tell the difference. :idunno:

Germination is against atheism. Something about not wanting to be stuck in an endless parable.

EDIT: Actually, I think I pitched that joke too high for you. The word is "sewn". Sowing is what you shouldn't be allowed to do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chavis

Except for the fact that Rings is a daft bastard and I'm a fucking legend, like.

I could see how you would fail to see that, though, emo-kid.

If you want a little me in you, I'd be alright with that.

We'd probably get a lot of support from the homosexual and anti-cunt camps. Same thing, they are, anyways.

You'll have to sign a waiver form declaring you don't mind having your arse drilled wide enough to fit your mum in it, though.

Start thanking your deity that the last time I was over I got her into weight conscious mode, like.
10-12-2011, 07:46 AM
NotLettingItGo

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chavis

Neither do I.

Made you post, though.

It's entirely understandable that a man of your limited capabilities wouldn't be able to recognise the difference between cancer and the cyst that you are.
10-12-2011, 08:53 PM
JPaul

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Is it cancer of your hole cunt, or just partial.
10-12-2011, 11:37 PM
chalice

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JPaul

Is it cancer of your hole cunt, or just partial.

Can't even remember posting the thread in the first place, mate. It's a fucking honey pot, though, so I stand by my drunken instincts.

If I could go back in time, I'd give myself a blowjob.

Not in a gay way.
10-13-2011, 12:52 AM
Artemis

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Please get ~~cancer~~ drunk again soon Chalice, yer inebriated posts are the highlight of the week.
10-13-2011, 02:01 AM
Frankthetank1

Re: I've Got Cancer.

youd be less cuntie if you had it removed.
10-13-2011, 02:02 AM
ddy

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Oh,chavis,i would like to send my best wishes to you,have a nice mood everyday,and enjoy everyday :)
10-13-2011, 05:41 AM
Artemis

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddy

Oh,chavis,i would like to send my best wishes to you,have a nice mood everyday,and enjoy everyday :)

I take it they still sell lead paint based toys in China then.....
10-13-2011, 05:55 AM
ddy

Re: I've Got Cancer.

What do you mean,Artemis?Sorry,english isn't my first language,i can't understand some hard sentences.If i made some mistakes,please forgive me. :)
10-13-2011, 10:35 AM
mjmacky

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddy

i can't understand some hard sentences

That much is clear, as the entire point of the escaped you without you ever having chased it. Now that you've got your 10/11 posts, it doesn't particularly matter
10-13-2011, 11:47 AM
Artemis

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Chalice, now that the hangover is over and there aren't two lots of everything any more, can you give your unused cancer to J-Dye? He really needs it.
10-13-2011, 01:12 PM
mjmacky

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Artemis

Chalice, now that the hangover is over and there aren't two lots of everything any more, can you give your unused cancer to J-Dye? He really needs it.

That wouldn't be very effective, given that it was cunt cancer, the basis of which is as foreign to j-dye as dark energy
10-13-2011, 04:32 PM
megabyteme

Re: I've Got Cancer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjmacky

That wouldn't be very effective, given that it was cunt cancer, the basis of which is as foreign to j-dye as dark energy

I think it can be said with GREAT certainty that J-Dye spends A LOT of time in the dark. Actually, I'm willing to bet he sees more dark time than Gollum.