Arse!

Rear fog lamp switched itself on and refused to go off tonight - all poultrygoose like. Why do these things always happen in the pitch dark and pissing rain like a fecking B movie?

Armed with a torch, screwdriver and car manual I removed the lens cover with an ominous crack of which there was no mention of in the instruction :unsure: and removed the offending bulb so I might have the benefit of an unflat battery tomorrow. Burned fingers in the process.

Not happy. Looked up fault on the interwebs and it appears I am not the first to travel this road. Thank you Nissan :dabs:

Thread title, arse
Object mentioned in post, bulb

Has the story already finished? What happened with the warm-to-the-touch bulb?

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Thread title, arse
Object mentioned in post, bulb

Has the story already finished? What happened with the scalding-to-the-touch bulb?

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It is sitting on my table. I intend to give it to my garage to replace once they have figured out what the hell is going on (having first assured me that my warranty covers this).

Edit: the arse refers to my singed fingers btw and the general lack of merriment I feel over the matter.

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Thread title, arse
Object mentioned in post, bulb

Has the story already finished? What happened with the scalding-to-the-touch bulb?

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It is sitting on my table. I intend to give it to my garage to replace once they have figured out what the hell is going on (having first assured me that my warranty covers this).

Edit: the arse refers to my singed fingers btw and the general lack of merriment I feel over the matter.

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I thought you were going to say, "then I sat on the table". This has been a disappointing turn of events, thinking that I could catch just a glimpse of Sylvanian porn.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Biggles

It is sitting on my table. I intend to give it to my garage to replace once they have figured out what the hell is going on (having first assured me that my warranty covers this).

Edit: the arse refers to my singed fingers btw and the general lack of merriment I feel over the matter.

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I thought you were going to say, "then I sat on the table". This has been a disappointing turn of events, thinking that I could catch just a glimpse of Sylvanian porn.

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Alas my lack of merriment means that there will be no sexy time - Sylvanian or otherwise.

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I thought you were going to say, "then I sat on the table". This has been a disappointing turn of events, thinking that I could catch just a glimpse of Sylvanian porn.

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Alas my lack of merriment means that there will be no sexy time - Sylvanian or otherwise.

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I can hazard a guess as to where you would like to insert said bulb, if given half a chance. :blink:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Alas my lack of merriment means that there will be no sexy time - Sylvanian or otherwise.

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I can hazard a guess as to where you would like to insert said bulb, if given half a chance. :blink:

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Unfortunately the nearest Nissan dealer is many miles away.

I can also relate a tale of woe regarding a car of mine, the irritation that ensued was of a slightly higher order though. The car in question was an Isuzu Bighorn (GMC trooper for merkins) it's also a Vauxhall something, an Opel something else and a Holden Monterey (they just stick different badges on basically). It was a diesel model and one evening while my wife was driving, it started to rev even with her foot off the accelerator. She pulled to the side of the road because it was concerning, but had to keep her foot firmly on the brake pedal. So she put it into park, at which point the motor redlined and smoke started to pour out of the exhaust. Being a tough Scottish chick, she lifted the bonnet and pulled the leads from the battery to try and cut electrical power (being a diesel this of course made no difference) and the motor continued to rev. After about five minutes the engine blew leaving her in the dark on the side of the road.

This, although understandably upsetting wasn't what really left us dumbfounded....it was the letter that arrived two weeks later announcing a recall on all Isuzu models with the 4JX1 diesel engine before a certain date of manufacture, because of a fault in the fuel injectors which could cause them to fail and and leak fuel into the engine casing thereby potentially causing an engine overrun.We contacted Isuzu directly, but were told that they would not honour any obligation under the recall even though the fault mentioned had already occurred to us, since we were not the original purchasers of the car.I didn't want to insert a bulb up their collective arses at this point but rather the whole 4x4. :mad3:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

I didn't want to insert a bulb up their collective arses at this point but rather the whole 4x4. :mad3:

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Packed with C4 explosives I shouldn't wonder. What am absolute shower!

I once remove xeon bulb and turned on headlight - result is most of car electronic fried. So at least your was stupid design, mine was stupid me.

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Originally Posted by evlo

... mine was stupid me.

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What's new.. its a known fact..

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Rear fog lamp switched itself on and refused to go off tonight - all poultrygoose like. Why do these things always happen in the pitch dark and pissing rain like a fecking B movie?

Armed with a torch, screwdriver and car manual I removed the lens cover with an ominous crack of which there was no mention of in the instruction :unsure: and removed the offending bulb so I might have the benefit of an unflat battery tomorrow. Burned fingers in the process.

Not happy. Looked up fault on the interwebs and it appears I am not the first to travel this road. Thank you Nissan :dabs:

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You're so handy! Would you like to come over and help me fix my oven? This is not a euphemism. For obvious reasons it's not hot, so you can't possibly burn your fingers.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

You're so handy! Would you like to come over and help me fix my oven? This is not a euphemism. For obvious reasons it's not hot, so you can't possibly burn your fingers.

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Hypothetically, let's say he does come over and fix it. Exactly what did you have in mind for a testing/verification procedure?

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

You're so handy! Would you like to come over and help me fix my oven? This is not a euphemism. For obvious reasons it's not hot, so you can't possibly burn your fingers.

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I'm glad it is not a euphemism 'cos I would be digging in the urban dictionary if it was :unsure:

Generally an unhot oven has a either a blown fuse (usually 30 amp or similar and easy to fix) or the element is unhappy (not good). The other thing it could be is if the timer device is at the wrong setting.

You are now going to tell me it is a gas oven aren't you :yup:

PS My car needs a new BCM, apparently, as the one in my car is confused. Feck! another day messing around with garages :(

On top of this, SGG ordered some clothes from her favourite supplier in Hong Kong and they have changed their shipper to a complete shower called Sky Net. I mean FFS! Sky Net? Wasn't that a step for a hint? After several phone calls and umpteen supposed attempts to deliver (but never leaving a card), on the very day I said I would be in their on line tracker says they are shipping the thing back to Hong Kong. The last and only previous time I encountered this mob I had to pay them to send the package by Royal Mail because they singualrly failed to deliver. A next day courier, no less, sending stuff via the postie. Nationalise the lot! Private sector efficiency? My arse!....I think this where I came in.

Rant over. If you send for something and they say the shipper is Sky Net be very afraid.

Oh! Fuck...

Skynet

In all fairness, mate, you do live out in the sticks a bit :D

I worked for my dad as a delivery driver twixt university and obtaining a jawb type job - I could never find anything, it was horrible. Unknown to dad, I used to pick my mam up on the way and we tried manfully to find these tricky to locate industrial parks together.
Driving around for 8 hours a day with your mother is not as much fun as it sounds :eyebrows:0

What was my point ... oh yeah, being a delivery driver is really hard, it's probably your fault for living in a outer hebridean log cabin by the sea.

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Originally Posted by manker

In all fairness, mate, you do live out in the sticks a bit :D

I worked for my dad as a delivery driver twixt university and obtaining a jawb type job - I could never find anything, it was horrible. Unknown to dad, I used to pick my mam up on the way and we tried manfully to find these tricky to locate industrial parks together.
Driving around for 8 hours a day with your mother is not as much fun as it sounds :eyebrows:0

What was my point ... oh yeah, being a delivery driver is really hard, it's probably your fault for living in a outer hebridean log cabin by the sea.

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Spending 8 hours a day in the car with my Mum would be...interesting :fear:

The company she uses (Yes Style) used to stun me with how quickly they got stuff from Hong Kong to the door. They generally use DHL who do seem to know where Scotlandshire is but this shower of absolute chancers...I mean the lies and excuses. "Let me check your phone number, Oh Noess!11 we had that down wrong". Of course I am in fact phoning them because they left a message on my fecking phone :angry: You couldn't make it up except they do. If they get a nose bleed north of Watford they should just say so, instead of pretending to deliver the freaking thing for days on end.

Oh well these little things are sent to try us.

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by manker

In all fairness, mate, you do live out in the sticks a bit :D

I worked for my dad as a delivery driver twixt university and obtaining a jawb type job - I could never find anything, it was horrible. Unknown to dad, I used to pick my mam up on the way and we tried manfully to find these tricky to locate industrial parks together.
Driving around for 8 hours a day with your mother is not as much fun as it sounds :eyebrows:0

What was my point ... oh yeah, being a delivery driver is really hard, it's probably your fault for living in a outer hebridean log cabin by the sea.

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Spending 8 hours a day in the car with my Mum would be...interesting :fear:

The company she uses (Yes Style) used to stun me with how quickly they got stuff from Hong Kong to the door. They generally use DHL who do seem to know where Scotlandshire is but this shower of absolute chancers...I mean the lies and excuses. "Let me check your phone number, Oh Noess!11 we had that down wrong". Of course I am in fact phoning them because they left a message on my fecking phone :angry: You couldn't make it up except they do. If they get a nose bleed north of Watford they should just say so, instead of pretending to deliver the freaking thing for days on end.

Oh well these little things are sent to try us.

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'shower of absolute chancers' :glag:

I take it that the miff-age ometer reached unheralded heights recently - and hasn't quite yet returned to its default zen like state.
Okay, your ire has altered my stance - the whole chancing lot of them should be strung up. If only for driving you to use 'freaking' in a post.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

You're so handy! Would you like to come over and help me fix my oven? This is not a euphemism. For obvious reasons it's not hot, so you can't possibly burn your fingers.

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Hypothetically, let's say he does come over and fix it. Exactly what did you have in mind for a testing/verification procedure?

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Well, it's a moot point now, because.....

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

You're so handy! Would you like to come over and help me fix my oven? This is not a euphemism. For obvious reasons it's not hot, so you can't possibly burn your fingers.

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I'm glad it is not a euphemism 'cos I would be digging in the urban dictionary if it was :unsure:

Generally an unhot oven has a either a blown fuse (usually 30 amp or similar and easy to fix) or the element is unhappy (not good). The other thing it could be is if the timer device is at the wrong setting.

You are now going to tell me it is a gas oven aren't you :yup:

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Turns out that I'd accidentally just switched off the power at the wall while cleaning or something else. 3 days it was before I realised. I was just about to pull the damn thing out and take it apart when the cold realisation descended upon me that I'd been an utter fuckwit.

Three days! :lol: :lol:

If only oven off and on switches were gigantic, protruding red things that couldn't possibly be overlooked.

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Originally Posted by manker

Three days! :lol: :lol:

If only oven off and on switches were gigantic, protruding red things that couldn't possibly be overlooked.

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I don't think it was my fault. I think it was my ex when he came over and cleaned the kitchen for me. I blamed him for everything unexpected and disappointing when we were together and I don't see any reason to stop now.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Hypothetically, let's say he does come over and fix it. Exactly what did you have in mind for a testing/verification procedure?

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Well, it's a moot point now, because.....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

You're so handy! Would you like to come over and help me fix my oven? This is not a euphemism. For obvious reasons it's not hot, so you can't possibly burn your fingers.

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I'm glad it is not a euphemism 'cos I would be digging in the urban dictionary if it was :unsure:

Generally an unhot oven has a either a blown fuse (usually 30 amp or similar and easy to fix) or the element is unhappy (not good). The other thing it could be is if the timer device is at the wrong setting.

You are now going to tell me it is a gas oven aren't you :yup:

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Turns out that I'd accidentally just switched off the power at the wall while cleaning or something else. 3 days it was before I realised. I was just about to pull the damn thing out and take it apart when the cold realisation descended upon me that I'd been an utter fuckwit.

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Asking if it was switched on did cross my mind but I have had hard Paddington Bear type stares for going down that route in the past :eyebrows:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by manker

Three days! :lol: :lol:

If only oven off and on switches were gigantic, protruding red things that couldn't possibly be overlooked.

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I don't think it was my fault. I think it was my ex when he came over and cleaned the kitchen for me. I blamed him for everything unexpected and disappointing when we were together and I don't see any reason to stop now.

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Consistency is a virtue or something else

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Asking if it was switched on did cross my mind but I have had hard Paddington Bear type stares for going down that route in the past :eyebrows:

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You're a survivor, that much is obvious x

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

I don't think it was my fault. I think it was my ex when he came over and cleaned the kitchen for me. I blamed him for everything unexpected and disappointing when we were together and I don't see any reason to stop now.

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Consistency is a virtue or something else

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You know where you stand with me. In the corner with a dunce's hat on.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Asking if it was switched on did cross my mind but I have had hard Paddington Bear type stares for going down that route in the past :eyebrows:

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You're a survivor, that much is obvious x

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Tiny incremental learning steps. Tiny painful incremental steps.

I'll be the one to raise an incredulous eyebrow.
'my ex came over to clean the kitchen'

what the fucking fuck

So anyway, you're single now, eh. Is there anyone special on the horizon or are you not planning to completely emasculate anyone for a short while :schnauz:

I don't own a motorcar, but I have previously owned a vast array of bicycles which unluckily for me often resulted in unexpected punctures of the tyre inner-tube.

Arse

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Tiny incremental learning steps. Tiny painful incremental steps.

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:happy:

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Originally Posted by manker

I'll be the one to raise an incredulous eyebrow.
'my ex came over to clean the kitchen'

what the fucking fuck

So anyway, you're single now, eh. Is there anyone special on the horizon or are you not planning to completely emasculate anyone for a short while :schnauz:

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Well I exaggerate: I cooked dinner he washed up, but it's better if I tell it the other way :P

At the moment I've got my hands full with my job and the mortgage. I simply haven't got any room in my hands for mens' balls; not as a permanent fixture anyway. I wouldn't rule it out though.....I've got my eye on a couple, with a possible view to a third pair.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

:happy:



At the moment I've got my hands full with my job and the mortgage. I simply haven't got any room in my hands for mens' balls; not as a permanent fixture anyway. I wouldn't rule it out though.....I've got my eye on a couple, with a possible view to a third pair.

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If your hands are full, there is always the 'teabag' option.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Well, it's a moot point now, because.....

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Most of my posts are, no other way for me to pass your post count in a such short amount of time.

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My clutch is now slipping, and I don't have the time or tools necessary to drop a transmission out of a late model Volvo. So, that just means $$$ (translation £££). During the San Francisco portion of my road trip, I spent 25 minutes in 0/1 mph traffic uphill on a 37° street (which is how long it took me to reach a parking spot for some respite). We could smell the burning of my clutch for well over an hour after that.

I don't know why I posted that, I think this a vehicular transportation thread, right?

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Well, it's a moot point now, because.....

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Most of my posts are, no other way for me to pass your post count in a such short amount of time.

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My clutch is now slipping, and I don't have the time or tools necessary to drop a transmission out of a late model Volvo. So, that just means $$$ (translation £££). During the San Francisco portion of my road trip, I spent 25 minutes in 0/1 mph traffic uphill on a 37° street (which is how long it took me to reach a parking spot for some respite). We could smell the burning of my clutch for well over an hour after that.

I don't know why I posted that, I think this a vehicular transportation thread, right?

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I think it has become more than just the vehicular transportation fred, and become more of a 'things that have deeply fucked me off IRL fred', it's just that vehicular transportation because of the cost is more frustrating than most. Being more than slightly ratarsed right now, my personal list of things that fuck me off is longer than usual, but the length of the list is determined by several factors (I just can't be arsed listing them right now......).

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

:happy:

I simply haven't got any room in my hands for mens' balls; not as a permanent fixture anyway. I wouldn't rule it out though.....I've got my eye on a couple, with a possible view to a third pair.

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I'm not a huge fan of these modern decorations and room makeovers :unsure:

Im crap at DIY

in my house do it yourself really does mean do it yourself.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

If your hands are full, there is always the 'teabag' option.

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That's also full...of shit.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Most of my posts are, no other way for me to pass your post count in a such short amount of time.

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Good grief, you're close.....how did you manage that?

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Originally Posted by Biggles

I'm not a huge fan of these modern decorations and room makeovers :unsure:

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It's the way of the world now dearest....get on it or GTFO x

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Most of my posts are, no other way for me to pass your post count in a such short amount of time.

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Good grief, you're close.....how did you manage that?

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My mppd (moot points per day) far exceeds yours, it was an eventuality. If I added the number of posts that have been deleted, I'd probably already be ahead.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Good grief, you're close.....how did you manage that?

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My mppd (moot points per day) far exceeds yours, it was an eventuality. If I added the number of posts that have been deleted, I'd probably already be ahead.

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But I haven't been trying. Do you challenge me sir?

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

But I haven't been trying. Do you challenge me sir?

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The gloves are already off, madam. I'll be an unstoppable force, given that I've managed to nearly catch up with gloves on.

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Friend had his water pump lock up and the serpentine belt tore off the pulley. Dealer quoted him $400 in labor, in addition to parts for replacing the water pump and belt (to a grand total of $800). Decided it was best to do a DIY part swap. Just found it strange that it was the water pump, and not one of the A/C, Power Steering, tensioner or crank pullies.

Re: Skynet - Thought the sods had sent the parcel back to Hong Kong last Monday - got home tonight and there was a message on my phone "if you call us we can arrange a delivery"

Next day delivery? The thing arrived in the UK on the 1st of November, it must have sat in their warehouse in London (somewhere I'm increasingly convinced it has never left) for a whole week.

Total and utter shower - fact!