Happy Birthday, chavis.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
http://i44.tinypic.com/54a8og.jpg
Have a good one, or do something else..
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Happy Birthday, chavis.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
http://i44.tinypic.com/54a8og.jpg
Have a good one, or do something else..
Nice. Looks like Frank Miller. Turns out he's a fucking nazi. Who'd a thunk it.
Cheers hotshot.
I just watched WikiLeaks.Secrets.and.Lies. Turns out that Julian fella was a right Nazi too. And the US government. Who woulda thunk it.
Alan Moore, that's who. Channel 4 news, mate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Something Else
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FumNSfY7SfI
happy birthday, bawlbag.
I think I met that there Asian fella he's walking with through the St Paul's camp when I popped down there for a shufty.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
Alan Moore probably wouldn't approve of his masks being used for this either:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5x6bbhitgI&list=PL37DB078F031A4DD3&index=197&feature=plpp_video
If you look very closely you'll see me in it too :shifty:
.........happy burfday btw Chavvy. Caek will be forthcoming x
If that's you at 1:21, I totally would.
:smilie4:
Anarchism and sex. My two favorite things.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
If I can arrange to have Dave killed, could you find in your militant heart to let me take over stalking duties?
If you could do that I'd smear myself in pork fat for you and drape myself across a bedspread made of comic books xQuote:
Originally Posted by chavis
:drool: And I know how much of a sacrifice you'd be making there, being a veggie and all that.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousIf you could do that I'd smear myself in pork fat for you and drape myself across a bedspread made of comic books xQuote:
Originally Posted by chavis
Batten down the hatches, Dave. As soon as my stuttering freak brother gets time served he's a going on a mission.
What would you be willing to part with for simple GBH?
See, you should be really careful what you throw out. If I think I don't need something, like say a stuttering freak brother, I just put it in the loft, which acts as a form of purgatory for unwanted items. If after a year I haven't had cause to bring it down then it goes in the bin. Who would have thought your vocally challenged brethren would come in handy for a hit 6 months ago?Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
Anyway, I suppose for GBH I'd be willing to let you use my balustrade.
I think standard payment for such "work" is half-now; half when the (nut) job is taken care of. If we had an accountant around here, we could cum to an exact figure, but in absence, I'll guestimate it somewhere around an internets striptease (which he'd better fuk'n share with the guy who suggested it), or a handjob (which I really hope he'd just keep ALL for himself.*Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousIf you could do that I'd smear myself in pork fat for you and drape myself across a bedspread made of comic books xQuote:
Originally Posted by chavis
*Suggestion made because it's yer birthday, you are 38, and you are married- all of which adds up to the fact that no female hands have touched your peen in a full year. :P
Happy birthday, my friend. :)
Happy Birthday, Mate
Do me a favour chavis. Tell your piece of trash friend to stop stalking me. All these posts shes making are just inviting me to take this all personally and to take it up with her face to face.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
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Originally Posted by chavis
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Originally Posted by Squeamous
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Originally Posted by chavis
If I do go and visit her, I can't wait to see what the Police (who she intends to call) are going to make of a sociopathic bitch encouraging some bloke she doesn't actually know from the internet to kill me. That and all the other posts your friend have made provide me with grounds for going around to her house and asking her wtf she thinks shes playing at. Don't you think?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Yet again chavis, you seem to have provided me with something, an opportunity to go and slap the bitch around the head. Which does seem like a perfectly reasonable reaction to having her encourage some fucking weirdo (that's you) on the internet to come (either in person or via proxy) and physically harm me. Wouldn't you say?
I'm afraid I have no influence in that area, Dave. Though, I can predict what'll happen if your reembark on your physical intimidation campaign. Pretty much what happened the last time. You'll get another door in your face and the internets will get another laugh at your desperation.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllahDo me a favour chavis. Tell your piece of trash friend to stop stalking me. All these posts shes making are just inviting me to take this all personally and to take it up with her face to face.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
Maybe you'll get a call from the rozzers this time, and The New Adventures Of Stalker Dave will take an exciting twist.
Them was just jokes, Dave. They were designed to wind you up and they didn't disappoint. I don't do violence, Dave. I don't need to.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllahQuote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
If I do go and visit her, I can't wait to see what the Police (who she intends to call) are going to make of a sociopathic bitch encouraging some bloke she doesn't actually know from the internet to kill me. That and all the other posts your friend have made provide me with grounds for going around to her house and asking her wtf she thinks shes playing at. Don't you think?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Yet again chavis, you seem to have provided me with something, an opportunity to go and slap the bitch around the head. Which does seem like a perfectly reasonable reaction to having her encourage some fucking weirdo (that's you) on the internet to come (either in person or via proxy) and physically harm me. Wouldn't you say?
Anyway, who would I torment if you shuffled off the old mortal coil, eh?
Are you gonna wish me a happy birthday, Dave? You know you want to.
Now you have a problem chavis, I don't believe they were jokes. So I will respond to the threats you have made and conspired to make against me as I see fit.
Respond how you like, Dave. No skin off my nose.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
We can see the real Dave coming through now. Nobody ever believed for a second that you wouldn't hit a woman. She'd prolly kick seven shades of shite out of you in any case.
I've just embarked on a massive cleaning spree in the kitchen. Can you wait for your cake Chavvy? It'll be well worf it....lemon and chocolate chunk drizzle cake, nom nom nom :happy:
I suppose I'll have to wait then. Time's a ticking though. I plan on being absolutely hammered by five 'o clock and cake will have lost its considerable magnetism.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
At present I'm pretty wopped and drinking apple Smirnoff with raspberry juice while listening to Belle and Sebastian at volume. How homosexual is that. :smilie4:
The only way you can redeem the situation is by farting loudly and picking your nose. Quick, before you start thinking about going down to the local loos for some burfday bumsex :unsure:Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
I've moved along to The Wedding Present now, so the testosterone is pumping and I can actually feel the hair on my testicles growing. Besides, it's not queer if it's your birthday.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousThe only way you can redeem the situation is by farting loudly and picking your nose. Quick, before you start thinking about going down to the local loos for some burfday bumsex :unsure:Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
You can't escape your own words chavis, it was you and her who decided posting personal threats was OK.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
You've repeatedly claimed that someone here has told you all my personal details. So you know my address.
You have a brother who is a criminal, and who you've threatened to have come and harm me.
That threat was made in conspiracy with someone who knows my personal details.
Even if you were joking, what makes you think she was?
This is a woman who has lied to my face to manipulate me, knowing she was harming me by doing that.
This is a woman who could easily be commissioning any number of different blokes to come and harm me.
No you two twisted fucks let the cat out of the bag last night, and expecting me to sit back and do nothing about you threatening my physical being is stupidity on your parts.
Jesus, Dave, I'd be more concerned with what being on this board is doing to your mental health, mate, never mind physical.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllahYou can't escape your own words chavis.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
You've repeatedly claimed that someone here has told you all my personal details. So you know my address.
You have a brother who is a criminal, and who you've threated to have come and harm me.
That threat was made in conspiracy with someone who knows my personal details.
Even if you were joking, what makes you think she was?
This is a woman who has lied to my face to manipulate me, knowing she was harming me by doing that.
This is a woman who could easily be commissioning any number of different blokes to come and harm me.
No you two twisted fucks let the cat out of the bag last night, and expecting me to sit back and do nothing about you threatening my physical being is stupidity on your parts.
You're gonna have a long wait if you're worried about our kid. He's doing a lengthy stretch. It'll be about 3 years at least before he comes up for air. Best place for him, in my opinion.
Don't cry, Dave. I promise I won't kill you. :smilie4:
Too late chavis, your bitch friend can explain to the Police and her employers why she spends her time going around being nasty towards someone who has made it clear he doesn't want her anywhere near him. She can explain why she choose to threaten him with physical harm.
:lol: Dave.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
Off you go to Plod. Keep us posted on how that turns out for you.
I'm sure your friend will update you.
I'd rather hear it from you, Dave.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
Aren't you gonna call the cops on me too, Dave?
You don't understand the concept of a conspiracy do you chavis.
See she is the one who wants me harmed, you're just the tool (what an appropriate word for you) she uses to do it. Ergo it's upto the Police to take it up with her, because you could be one of any number of tools she has recruited to do her bidding.
Anyway, it's upto her employers and the Police to follow it all up now.
Her employers know the score with you, Dave. Remember that time you turned up at her place of work with your trinkets of failure? Remember how they wouldn't let you past security? Remember how you caused a scene, you fucking mentalist?Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
Off you go to Plod, mate, your card's marked. You can't scare her, Dave. She's far too clever for that.
Thank you chavis, you've yet again just confirmed something for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
I shall be visiting her employers personally first thing tomorrow morning, I guess I'll see what they think then.
You do that, Dave, you ineffectual nincompoop.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllahThank you chavis, you've yet again just confirmed something for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
I shall be visiting her employers personally first thing tomorrow morning, I guess I'll see what they think then.
It doesn't matter how you twisted fucks try and twist it, your words up here dating back several months confirm what I have said to the Police, and what I will be telling her employers tomorrow. All your wild delusions about it being me who is stalking her aren't supported by a single one of my posts.
I honestly think you do believe all that wank, Dave.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
Bring the cops with you if you're going to her employers. It'll save them the time of hunting you down afterwards.
True dat. Sorry to introduce an element of crazy into your birthday. I'll open up a new burfday fred for you shortly ^_^ xQuote:
Originally Posted by chavis
You threatened me chavis, so you can shove your grandstanding up your arse. You never had a fucking clue about what you were wading around in, and you really topped it this time. Either you have the balls to carry out your threat, in which case you can just name your time and place and I'll see you there, or you don't. I won't be dropping it because you don't like that your words suddenly have implications you don't like.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
It wasn't a threat, Dave, it was jokes.Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllahYou threatened me chavis, so you can shove your grandstanding up your arse. You never had a fucking clue about what you were wading around in, and you really topped it this time. Either you have the balls to carry out your threat, in which case you can just name your time and place and I'll see you there, or you don't. I won't be dropping it because you don't like that your words suddenly have implications you don't like.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
If I was ever stirred into giving a fuck enough about you to plan on murdering you (which is pretty fucking unlikely), Dave, take it as written that I wouldn't be stupid enough to warn you in advance.
You wouldn't see me coming, Dave.