Was I propositioned by a street walker?

My Volvo wouldn't start today so I had it towed into my mechanic. Some funky thing with the Rf communication between the keys and the car. Anyways, I decided since the temperature dropped to pleasurable levels, I'd take a 30 block walk (approx. 1.5 miles) to the Starbucks nearby a friend's house, whom I'd been meaning to catch up with.

So on I footed, southward bound along the sidewalk of a busy street at around 10:30 in the a.m., and a female of about the same age (or slightly younger) walking northward asks me for a cigarette. I obliged since I already had a few rolled, and we almost continued with our initial trajectories. She starts to strike up small chat that begins with us both using our torsional abilities. It consisted mostly of us summarizing our contemporary pedestrian situations, and I had concluded mine with the mention of my destination. To this she replied, "do you want me to go there with you?"

Now, this female was clean in presentation, cute-ish in visage, and pleasant with her pleasantries. However, there was an instantaneous instinctual neuronal trigger preceding my response that imparted upon me the opinion that she was indeed a very dirty girl. My immediate response was, "well, I'm meeting a friend at Starbucks". She politely wrapped up our interlude with, "well, it was nice meeting you" as we gravitated towards our predestined paths with regained momentum.

What do you think, would a pro accompany her client to a Starbucks, or was she just street walking in the literal sense and was both inspired and compelled by my beauty? I'm typically too platonic in my interactions at the volition of my asexual disposition to invite such a tryst. Therefore, I feel I don't have the necessary experience to ascertain the context.

SHORT VERSION:

Spoiler: Show

Hold on there, you didn't think it'd be that easy did you? Read the long version.

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I think you read the situation correctly. She was subtle, but I believe if you had said, "yes" to her company, you would have been "induced" into paying for the time spent. Her "agent" would not have been too far behind, and the "script" involves you handing over ~$100 whether you decide to fill her up with a latte, or a shot of Macky.

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

You should have fucked her then refused to pay, it's not like she was going to call the police.

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I'm not against paying for sex, though I've never hired a pro. I'm just against sharing the same space with all previous seedy visitors.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I think you read the situation correctly. She was subtle, but I believe if you had said, "yes" to her company, you would have been "induced" into paying for the time spent. Her "agent" would not have been too far behind, and the "script" involves you handing over ~$100 whether you decide to fill her up with a latte, or a shot of Macky.

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Ironically, for the past few years, I don't order coffee-based products at Starbucks. How much do you think she would have charged for the tea bag?

I hate to rain on your parade, but working girls aren't that subtle usually, in either dress or conversation (such as that conversation is). They wear something that puts the goods in the front window, and the conversation usually consists of such lines as want a date ? are you lonely ? If they dress well and speak well they are usually a higher class of call girl and tend not to stroll the streets looking for clients.
Your ego and paranoia have alienated a nice friendly and outgoing girl, what is the world coming to ?

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Your ego and paranoia have alienated a nice friendly and outgoing girl, what is the world coming to ?

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I could equally fear having to get friend-zoned by her, driving her around, paying her rent, and getting lied to. It costs money to maintain a mistress you know.

I have also considered the possibility that I unearthed an inner sexist and sent off an easy girl. Anyways, intellectual merit is really the only way into my panties, I am a fussy skeptic that has to be worked a little.

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

They might not all have been seedy, they might have been like chavis or MBM... Oh! Sorry.

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I'm not worried about those guys, I'd DP, TP, or even QP with them.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

I hate to rain on your parade, but working girls aren't that subtle usually, in either dress or conversation (such as that conversation is). They wear something that puts the goods in the front window, and the conversation usually consists of such lines as want a date ? are you lonely ? If they dress well and speak well they are usually a higher class of call girl and tend not to stroll the streets looking for clients.
Your ego and paranoia have alienated a nice friendly and outgoing girl, what is the world coming to ?

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I suppose the rational thing to do was accept, and use her like a whore. :idunno:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I suppose the rational thing to do was accept, and use her like a whore. :idunno:

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Now you're just making it sound interesting, way to make me doubt myself Meg :mad3:

My first thought was that you need glasses and my second thought was should have been nicer to rejectofAllah's mom.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

My first thought was that you need glasses and my second thought was should have been nicer to rejectofAllah's mom.

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I've had LASIK you know, I used to be -5.75 in my prescription. If it was reject's mom, I think I could have confidently made the distinction solo. If she was stateside, she'd need a way to pay for chemo after all.

My third thought was I have no idea what tl;dr means and my fourth thought is that as a potential john you would be the mark so the second option makes no sense.
Then my brain starting hurting and so I stopped thinking at that point.

Anyway I'm basically just happy for any thread that I can post in in the Lounge and so be allowed to actually say what I feel whether it pleases some devious wank who can't speak English or not.

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I also have no idea what that is suppose to mean.

I guess that limited my answers to the ugly man thingy thingy.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Your ego and paranoia have alienated a nice friendly and outgoing girl, what is the world coming to ?

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I could equally fear having to get friend-zoned by her, driving her around, paying her rent, and getting lied to. It costs money to maintain a mistress you know.

I have also considered the possibility that I unearthed an inner sexist and sent off an easy girl. Anyways, intellectual merit is really the only way into my panties, I am a fussy skeptic that has to be worked a little.

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When I wish to mug some poor sap into being my unpaid chauffeur I usually ensure that I know he HAS a car first. You were on foot. I also imagine you look like the sort of man who wouldn't have a very clean car even if he did have one. That rules that out.

The way I see it, she was:
A) One of those special prostitutes who serves only the mentally or physically disabled, and has been selected for the role because of her kindness and sweet nature
B) Hired by your wife as a honeytrap and pretext for divorce
C) Part of a TV show where they set-up members of the public for laughs
D) Absolutely a prostitute who understands that men don't always have bad enough needs to want to go to the effort of seeking out a prostitute. Maybe they're too shy, or too smart, or not desperate enough. But if they happen to bump into one in a situation where boundaries are blurred, even if money gets handed over it's still not 'prostitution' is it? I bet this lady gets lots of business that way, from men who would never consider themselves the type to use a prostitute.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

When I wish to mug some poor sap into being my unpaid chauffeur I usually ensure that I know he HAS a car first. You were on foot. I also imagine you look like the sort of man who wouldn't have a very clean car even if he did have one. That rules that out.

The way I see it, she was:
A) One of those special prostitutes who serves only the mentally or physically disabled, and has been selected for the role because of her kindness and sweet nature
B) Hired by your wife as a honeytrap and pretext for divorce
C) Part of a TV show where they set-up members of the public for laughs
D) Absolutely a prostitute who understands that men don't always have bad enough needs to want to go to the effort of seeking out a prostitute. Maybe they're too shy, or too smart, or not desperate enough. But if they happen to bump into one in a situation where boundaries are blurred, even if money gets handed over it's still not 'prostitution' is it? I bet this lady gets lots of business that way, from men who would never consider themselves the type to use a prostitute.

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When you put it that way, telling her of my car story seems like I was the one trying to trap her into being my client, the driving enthusiast I am. True story to follow, I was a taxi man of sorts in high school. Being one of the few during my sophomore year with a car and license, I started driving people to their homes/workplaces/volunteering duties for a nominal fee. It was the only way I could afford the gas before I got a real part time mall job at Orange Julius, gas wasn't that expensive but my '86 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme guzzled that shit like it was the 70's.

This chauffeur angle is a profound revelation, I may choose to deliberate on this, especially since I was probably dressed too nicely for someone dropping his car off at the mechanic. But hey, the weather finally cooled off and I could finally wear the clothes I enjoy most.

My opinions on options A-D, responding in relative fashion since I designed such a poorly written poll that makes Idol demand double rent for March.
A) I was under the impression that prostitutes have the same clientele policies as a McDonalds, not turning down anyone provided they can and will pay for the transaction.
B) My wife would have used a much cuter girl, she knows of my absurdly high standards to have my interest piqued. The true sad story is that she's trying desperately to prevent divorce, sorry if that bums anyone out :(
C) A dangerous move to feature me, I'm the Chinese Brad Pitt.
D) The most viable of your options, but is brunch a popular time for this type of affair?

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Anyway I'm basically just happy for any thread that I can post in in the Lounge and so be allowed to actually say what I feel whether it pleases some devious wank who can't speak English or not.

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I understand this is the lounge Idol, but could you try to keep it on topic? You might accidentally stumble upon making the conversation more interesting by following an organic train of thought that deviates from the explicitly stated topic. You know it's serious when I have to warn you like this. I won't be bothered with trying to apply any merit to the warning. I will report the shit out of this bitch.

PROTIP: Personally, I find that the "price" is best negotiated after they have been bound, gagged, and secured in a dark, dank basement for a period of around 72 hours. Often, they are willing to do "whatever" for a shower, a cup of soup, and a bit of light. :happy:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

PROTIP: Personally, I find that the "price" is best negotiated after they have been bound, gagged, and secured in a dark, dank basement for a period of around 72 hours. Often, they are willing to do "whatever" for a shower, a cup of soup, and a bit of light. :happy:

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The absentminded man I am, I end up having to take fishing trips out to the ocean a month later, and I hate the ocean and seafood.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

My Volvo wouldn't start today so I had it towed into my mechanic. Some funky thing with the Rf communication between the keys and the car.

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On topic with your original post but off-topic with the general conversation, I own a Jeep Grand Cherokee which also has laser encoded ignition keys. I thought it would be a good idea to get a spare one to have around. I nearly fucking died at the price the dealership wanted to charge me to encode a copy, $482 + G.S.T. ( + 15% tax in other words ) for a key, and not even a gold key encrusted with diamonds. I have found another company that clones the keys off of your master for $115 + G.S.T. which seems far more reasonable to me, so up your nose Continental Car Services, you thieving pack of bastards, it pays to shop around.

There's a fine line between a fuck and a blowjob

In this particular case about 60 bucks.

And a thesaurus.

a well dressed female walking alone asking men for cigarettes on the highway at that time in the morning FFS.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

When you put it that way, telling her of my car story seems like I was the one trying to trap her into being my client, the driving enthusiast I am. True story to follow, I was a taxi man of sorts in high school. Being one of the few during my sophomore year with a car and license, I started driving people to their homes/workplaces/volunteering duties for a nominal fee. It was the only way I could afford the gas before I got a real part time mall job at Orange Julius, gas wasn't that expensive but my '86 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme guzzled that shit like it was the 70's.

This chauffeur angle is a profound revelation, I may choose to deliberate on this, especially since I was probably dressed too nicely for someone dropping his car off at the mechanic. But hey, the weather finally cooled off and I could finally wear the clothes I enjoy most.

My opinions on options A-D, responding in relative fashion since I designed such a poorly written poll that makes Idol demand double rent for March.
A) I was under the impression that prostitutes have the same clientele policies as a McDonalds, not turning down anyone provided they can and will pay for the transaction.
B) My wife would have used a much cuter girl, she knows of my absurdly high standards to have my interest piqued. The true sad story is that she's trying desperately to prevent divorce, sorry if that bums anyone out :(
C) A dangerous move to feature me, I'm the Chinese Brad Pitt.
D) The most viable of your options, but is brunch a popular time for this type of affair?

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Sorry, what is an 'Orange Julius'? And why are the clothes you enjoy wearing most easily mistakeable for a chauffeur's uniform? Have you considered that maybe she thought you were a pilot? Chicks dig pilots. I'm thinking you looked like a cross between the rainman and this:

Attachment 99986
I couldn't find a pic of a Chinese pilot, it seems they're all Japanese.

Maybe this lady saw a small dapper oriental pilot walking down the street and was afraid you were about to ram yourself into something with explosive consequences. She was probably wanting to ensure you got to where you were going in one piece.

Failing the above, yes she probably was a prostitute. In these hard economic times it's good to have an angle. Any old woman can be a prostitute, but if you want to corner a different market to fat, sweating truck drivers, you have to get creative. I'd do this if I were inclined to that kind of job. You'd only need to turn a few tricks a day, and this way you get to pick your own (probably clean) and non violent men. I reckon at least 1 in ten men would be up for it. In fact, I saw a documentary on TV the other day and an amateur porn film maker said 1 in 6 men she stopped in the street were willing to try out for a porn shoot.

I'm not reading all this shit.

But I vote YES.

@sqms: One in six, out of how many men?
@babarsrababa: sup :lol:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

My Volvo wouldn't start today so I had it towed into my mechanic. Some funky thing with the Rf communication between the keys and the car. Anyways, I decided since the temperature dropped to pleasurable levels, I'd take a 30 block walk (approx. 1.5 miles) to the Starbucks nearby a friend's house, whom I'd been meaning to catch up with.

So on I footed, southward bound along the sidewalk of a busy street at around 10:30 in the a.m., and a female of about the same age (or slightly younger) walking northward asks me for a cigarette. I obliged since I already had a few rolled, and we almost continued with our initial trajectories. She starts to strike up small chat that begins with us both using our torsional abilities. It consisted mostly of us summarizing our contemporary pedestrian situations, and I had concluded mine with the mention of my destination. To this she replied, "do you want me to go there with you?"

Now, this female was clean in presentation, cute-ish in visage, and pleasant with her pleasantries. However, there was an instantaneous instinctual neuronal trigger preceding my response that imparted upon me the opinion that she was indeed a very dirty girl. My immediate response was, "well, I'm meeting a friend at Starbucks". She politely wrapped up our interlude with, "well, it was nice meeting you" as we gravitated towards our predestined paths with regained momentum.

What do you think, would a pro accompany her client to a Starbucks, or was she just street walking in the literal sense and was both inspired and compelled by my beauty? I'm typically too platonic in my interactions at the volition of my asexual disposition to invite such a tryst. Therefore, I feel I don't have the necessary experience to ascertain the context.

SHORT VERSION:

Spoiler: Show

Hold on there, you didn't think it'd be that easy did you? Read the long version.

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You massive :ghey:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

My Volvo wouldn't start today so I had it towed into my mechanic. Some funky thing with the Rf communication between the keys and the car.

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On topic with your original post but off-topic with the general conversation, I own a Jeep Grand Cherokee which also has laser encoded ignition keys.

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The first diagnosis came back with being a short in the system causing the battery to undervoltage various systems. It seems to match the wacky behavior I've been observing.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Sorry, what is an 'Orange Julius'? And why are the clothes you enjoy wearing most easily mistakeable for a chauffeur's uniform? Have you considered that maybe she thought you were a pilot? Chicks dig pilots.

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I'm employing a broad range with respect to "chauffeur attire". Specifically, I had this in mind (I pasted the timecode to start at 3 min 32 sec, but it doesn't work for embedded videos):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIHGT8vWleQ&t=212

So Orange Julius used to be heaven before proper Smoothie places came out. I served Hulk Hogan, Brutus the Barber Beefcake, and The Giant powdery orange smoothies.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

I couldn't find a pic of a Chinese pilot, it seems they're all Japanese.

Maybe this lady saw a small dapper oriental pilot walking down the street and was afraid you were about to ram yourself into something with explosive consequences. She was probably wanting to ensure you got to where you were going in one piece.

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A ploy of my own design, I should explain the Chinese Brad Pitt thing. I obfuscated the true meaning of rural Chinese people have mistaken me for Brad Pitt. At the time, I was coupled with my wife, who was mistaken for Angelina Jolie. Neither of us alone would have played into the illusion, but together, well they there are some that just couldn't avoid making the err. I, however, wouldn't mind being in a little Japanese.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Failing the above, yes she probably was a prostitute. In these hard economic times it's good to have an angle. Any old woman can be a prostitute, but if you want to corner a different market to fat, sweating truck drivers, you have to get creative. I'd do this if I were inclined to that kind of job. You'd only need to turn a few tricks a day, and this way you get to pick your own (probably clean) and non violent men. I reckon at least 1 in ten men would be up for it. In fact, I saw a documentary on TV the other day and an amateur porn film maker said 1 in 6 men she stopped in the street were willing to try out for a porn shoot.

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She should have told the other 5 men that it wouldn't be shot in public and that they would have been paid. An interesting take on the entrepreneurial aspect of the oldest profession, however it seems much like a gigolo fantasy, at least my gigolo fantasy. I think my question would have been answered if I asked her to spell her name. She said it was Rene, but Renee would seem more in line with your explanation, Ranay would be more in line with my suspicion, and Jonbenet would have made it a true mjmacky story.

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Originally Posted by Something Else

You massive :ghey:

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Now that you point it out, the obvious 5th poll choice that's missing, another one of my failures as a man.

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Originally Posted by Alien5

@sqms: One in six, out of how many men?
@babarsrababa: sup :lol:

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A lot I'm guessing, since she does it for a living.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'm employing a broad range with respect to "chauffeur attire". Specifically, I had this in mind (I pasted the timecode to start at 3 min 32 sec, but it doesn't work for embedded videos)


So Orange Julius used to be heaven before proper Smoothie places came out. I served Hulk Hogan, Brutus the Barber Beefcake, and The Giant powdery orange smoothies.

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I hate it when people make me multi-quote :angry:
Ok, so I waited until 3mins 32secs and I got an old dude in a white panama hat and another dude in a black leather coat and T-shirt. Neither seem like chauffeur attire to me.
Also I can't believe you ever worked in the service industry :lol:

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Originally Posted by more multiquote bullshit

A ploy of my own design, I should explain the Chinese Brad Pitt thing. I obfuscated the true meaning of rural Chinese people have mistaken me for Brad Pitt. At the time, I was coupled with my wife, who was mistaken for Angelina Jolie. Neither of us alone would have played into the illusion, but together, well they there are some that just couldn't avoid making the err. I, however, wouldn't mind being in a little Japanese.

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I was trying to picture what a Chinese man who looked a bit like Brad Pitt might look like. My head started to implode so I gave up.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

She should have told the other 5 men that it wouldn't be shot in public and that they would have been paid. An interesting take on the entrepreneurial aspect of the oldest profession, however it seems much like a gigolo fantasy, at least my gigolo fantasy. I think my question would have been answered if I asked her to spell her name. She said it was Rene, but Renee would seem more in line with your explanation, Ranay would be more in line with my suspicion, and Jonbenet would have made it a true mjmacky story.

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:lol:
"It was all an honest mistake officer. I thought her story about escaping her captor of 20+ years was a little far fetched and made the only assumption a Chinese Brad Pitt could with the information available to hand. I've heard worse excuses from prostitutes trying to procure me....."

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'm employing a broad range with respect to "chauffeur attire". Specifically, I had this in mind (I pasted the timecode to start at 3 min 32 sec, but it doesn't work for embedded videos)

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Ok, so I waited until 3mins 32secs and I got an old dude in a white panama hat and another dude in a black leather coat and T-shirt. Neither seem like chauffeur attire to me.

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The point was, Clive Owen in a black leather jacket and a t-shirt can still pull off a sharp look. His character was a chauffeur, so to speak, for the sake of the BMW Films campaign. I want to be Clive Owen, but I want to also keep my penis; that way, Clive Owen's hands could handle my penis.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

I hate it when people make me multi-quote :angry:

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I do it as a service to others who bother to even read my posts. I'm, at times, hard enough to follow without putting forth a multifaceted mass of text. I've added to the multi-quote complexity of this reply, perhaps to make it more difficult to follow-up.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Also I can't believe you ever worked in the service industry :lol:

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What else would a young strapping uneducated lad be doing for income? I was also a telemarketer, I used to drive away from work screaming in my car for a straight 15 minutes. I have literally killed my voice several times. It was also the beginning of a streamlined path towards misanthropy for me. After that, I delivered pizzas, then catered food, through my undergraduate years. I'm frightened and curious as to what kind of work you thought I did at that age.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

A ploy of my own design, I should explain the Chinese Brad Pitt thing. I obfuscated the true meaning of rural Chinese people have mistaken me for Brad Pitt. At the time, I was coupled with my wife, who was mistaken for Angelina Jolie. Neither of us alone would have played into the illusion, but together, well they there are some that just couldn't avoid making the err. I, however, wouldn't mind being in a little Japanese.

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I was trying to picture what a Chinese man who looked a bit like Brad Pitt might look like. My head started to implode so I gave up.

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But I have established that I'm neither Chinese nor Asian looking, right?

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

:lol:
"It was all an honest mistake officer. I thought her story about escaping her captor of 20+ years was a little far fetched and made the only assumption a Chinese Brad Pitt could with the information available to hand. I've heard worse excuses from prostitutes trying to procure me....."

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It's the beginning of an interesting story, I'm assuming, but I wasn't able to follow. Am I being questioned by an officer, did I rescue the girl, what assumption did the Chinese man make? I'm feeling inadequate here.

As a final note, I'm going to try to make a Chinese Brad Pitt in MS Paint. I've taken it on as an official challenge.

OK, this is the best 10 of my minutes could come up with. Warning, this is a frightening image, so I'll hide it in a spoiler.

Spoiler: Show

Attachment 100228

You need photoshop lessons. I'm offering. The price is steep but the production quality is top notch.

IIRC, your eyes did look a bit chinesey even though they are blue.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

OK, this is the best 10 of my minutes could come up with. Warning, this is a frightening image, so I'll hide it in a spoiler.

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That looks like Madonna's plastic surgeon got let loose on a pic of poor Brad with a marker pen. It's exactly how I imagined you.