I think I just end up getting trolled on dating sites

I'm actively dating despite the wife thing. I find it difficult to consolidate the two things online once it comes down to exchanging contact info and such, so the online dating thing tends to lead nowhere. Anyways, purging some of my correspondences for... I don't know... therapy?

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Mary: Can you make it snow with the dandruff? I'm with a society of chronic dandruff sufferers, we have one central belief... there may be a fungus among us. We're not very original. Also, we're not real.
Anyways, I enjoyed the read.

bloom: I'm glad I could keep someone so smart interested while reading my profile. Thanks Dr.

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wolf: no bull shit whilst putting the obvious reasons for being on here... i suddenly thought i might try and learn serbian... if you fancy throwing over basic piontless messages in serbian for me to practice with.... really not sure of there is anything in return for you... ask me ... we could break a deal.. lets do it!

Mary: Have you heard of the Gradual Report on youtube? Specifically, the series called "Serbian lessons".

wolf: ja mislim , on je samo malo lud!!! ne razumem to nije tako smesno? pa zasto smesno??? kako si danas?

Mary: Baš je bitno da kaže, "u picku materinu", kad pricaš na srpskom. Ta istina je jedina istina. Onako mi je danas... samo to...

wolf: ok my serbian is not good enough to reply to that, are you saying that when speakin serbian you have to speak you mind like a serb? honestly strongly and to the point.
That guy of the gradual report is really not that funny and i dont understand why anyone would think that... his particular american accents is grating on my english ears? maybe its more funny for serbs who can speak english, but the other way around ??? But if he is the guy who does the one about the draft and serbian grandmothers!!!! pissed myself for a week!!!!

Mary: Basically what I was saying is that cursing in Serbian is a prerequisite to speaking Serbian, particularly that phrase. His "Serbian lessons" really only make sense to Serb speakers, even if his grammar is a little off at times. It's sort of a critique of the vulgarity of the language.
Anyways, I never asked, why do you want to study/speak it?

wolf: in a rush ... so in english... er my cousins babies are growing up and if i dont really get a grip and learn how to speak read write better i will not be able to speak to them properly, but its difficult practising, and without constant reinforcement and learning new things i forget what i learn!!!

wolf: ps apart form jabo te i know no bad words ....

Mary: Jebo te, kako ce da te biloko razume kad nikad da koristiš u picku materinu? Ako si baba, kažeš, u pizdu materinu. Nije loš da tako prica, samo je tako. Jebem ti sunce.
So all the grammar and misspelling on your profile, is that intentional? It seems like it is, but there's no allusion to the reason behind it.

wolf: nope dyslexic and cant be bothered to change it..... i mean its such a ball ache, i am much better at mathematical proofs and physics etc and more concerned with how beautiful 26 is, than all this writing stuff, i am a visual thinker, and writing is my nemisis... i hate it.... Everybody thinks i am stupid... but then i surprise them
ja ne kao, citas i pisanje!!

Mary: I could change it all for you, but I'm in the habit of charging for those services, so in that case I won't assuming you wouldn't bother to pay me either.
For some reason, the app won't show me what you wrote on the bottom, but I don't remember if it made sense anyway. I would try to be helpful, but I'm so much more inclined to be a teasing jerk about it, and it looks like this app is going to force my hand.

SYSTEM: No reply

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999969999: Gosh darn, you're beautiful.

Mary: Really now? I've always just kind of assumed I'm average at best.

999969999: Hah, no.
Not at all.

Mary: Must be my personality that gives me that impression then.

999969999: No sir.
You are beautiful, period.

SYSTEM: User no longer has an account

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weirdfuckingname: Chat me up if so inclined

Mary: I could try to chat you up, but I'm still trying to decode your name, so it's distracting. Here's my best right now. Cross-eyed pet orc eat. It's a stretch, but I feel like I'm missing a reference along the way. Regardless, I know it's wrong.

weirdfuckingname: Would you like me to reveal it for you or has it turned to a challenge? Only one person has guess in years, although I have to say your version cracks me up

Mary: If it doesn't have anything to do with Aztec gods, then I don't know if I could crack this code. Either way, reveal, reveal.

SYSTEM: No reply

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Why do you only come around when I post my correspondences, Darth? Do you have like a subscription for that or something?

:balustrade:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

...

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That's it? That's all you have to show for it? An embargo with a stale whiskey, a cocktease to thread readers about a weirdfuckingname, and an amalgamation of one liners repeated to death by matter-of-fact-factualists? The stale whiskey is already at your end game.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Why do you only come around when I post my correspondences, Darth? Do you have like a subscription for that or something?

:balustrade:

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How about a challenge? I'll not tell you how I do it. You don't ask me again the next umpteen times I do it. First one to lose has to post cawk pics.

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

That's it? That's all you have to show for it? An embargo with a stale whiskey, a cocktease to thread readers about a weirdfuckingname, and an amalgamation of one liners repeated to death by matter-of-fact-factualists? The stale whiskey is already at your end game.

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The formatting to make it look readable on here is pretty tedious, you're lucky you get that much. The other ones with like 50+ messages would be a nightmare to make it readable in a forum, and nobody really cares anyway. What's this that you're on about whiskey?

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Originally Posted by darth cicero

how about a challenge? I'll not tell you how i do it. You don't ask me again the next umpteen times i do it. First one to lose has to post cawk pics.

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nsfw

Spoiler: Show

Attachment 118367

She's irish, bottom heavy, and part of any healthy breakfast. That's all the hints you get before I reveal the joke you're missing.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

nsfw

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Sure that was sfw. Don't ever assume how strict image viewing practices are at my workplace again (READ: I usually work alone).

I'm starting to have a relapse (most likely brought about by the fact that you uncapitalized my name heinously in your quote) to my calling you Mary Magdelene at one point. I don't care what contemporary feminists say. The tattoo is proof positive my label was spot on.

Also, I'm taking the phoatie as a sign of you dropping the ball on the challenge. I'm currently assessing whether or not that was because the idea of seeing my manhood rattled your insecurities into throwing the hat in, or simply because you absolutely must know how I do it.

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

She's irish, bottom heavy, and part of any healthy breakfast. That's all the hints you get before I reveal the joke you're missing.

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It seems like you're on about a liqueur, but what is this in relation to?

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

nsfw

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Sure that was sfw. Don't ever assume how strict image viewing practices are at my workplace again (READ: I usually work alone).

I'm starting to have a relapse (most likely brought about by the fact that you uncapitalized my name heinously in your quote) to my calling you Mary Magdelene at one point. I don't care what contemporary feminists say. The tattoo is proof positive my label was spot on.

Also, I'm taking the phoatie as a sign of you dropping the ball on the challenge. I'm currently assessing whether or not that was because the idea of seeing my manhood rattled your insecurities into throwing the hat in, or simply because you absolutely must know how I do it.

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The implied meaning of nsfw is not so much that it would get you in trouble at work so much as it creates disjointed explanations between men and their misseses. It's just been repurposed like that, you know, like cucumbers.

Also, my current avy predates whatever you're talking about that I don't quite remember, and I reminded myself to do it when Dave promised to make a hate site about me.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

It seems like you're on about a liqueur, but what is this in relation to?

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While I'm at it, I just want to say it's extremely selfish of you to expect me to read and appreciate your misdirection, but you refuse to even try indulge mine.

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

It seems like you're on about a liqueur, but what is this in relation to?

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While I'm at it, I just want to say it's extremely selfish of you to expect me to read and appreciate your misdirection, but you refuse to even try indulge mine.

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I didn't agree to let you rimjob me under the pretense that I was going to return any favors. It's an issue of presumption. I hope you didn't give me butt herpes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

The implied meaning of nsfw is not so much that it would get you in trouble at work so much as it creates disjointed explanations between men and their misseses. It's just been repurposed like that, you know, like cucumbers.

Also, my current avy predates whatever you're talking about that I don't quite remember, and I reminded myself to do it when Dave promised to make a hate site about me.

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Pretty sure a substantial amount of misseses would enjoy that picture more than their men. Either way, nice to know that you have your dating sites while Ivana (was it?) has cucumbers. Have you come across the theory yet that she has put on all these personas of dating women on an intranet, including dave, manker and I, all just to slowly drive you into insanity?

I'm talking about another one of our flirt sessions. I hope you know that my pants are really heavy. If we keep dancing for long, they're dropping and not coming back up.

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

Either way, nice to know that you have your dating sites while Ivana (was it?) has cucumbers. Have you come across the theory yet that she has put on all these personas of dating women on an intranet, including dave, manker and I, all just to slowly drive you into insanity?

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I've read her some of these correspondences because sometimes she's around when I'm going over them and you know when you have that urge to put another set of eyes on what you're witnessing? Something like that. There's not much wit in her writing style though... so it doesn't work.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I didn't agree to let you rimjob me under the pretense that I was going to return any favors. It's an issue of presumption. I hope you didn't give me butt herpes.

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If I've already gotten to the unholieth base with you, what make you of your blog wars with 'ole dave? That's surely evolved into a fantastical love affair. I think you can do without prostituting yourself any longer.

Now, stop painting yourself with a saintly pink brush. Post the 50+ message tango where you end up standing up the dame.

P.S. This thread reminded me of a guy I stumbled across earlier on today, announcing he refuses to be a dating site for mercury dumpers and mercury hunters.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I've read her some of these correspondences because sometimes she's around when I'm going over them and you know when you have that urge to put another set of eyes on what you're witnessing? Something like that. There's not much wit in her writing style though... so it doesn't work.

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Although I haven't been in the situation personally, yes, I do know. I can understand the dilemma between figuring out whether the course of conversation is following the script for "Me and You and Everyone we know", or is just a giant misunderstanding. A friend who trolls dating sites on the regular always has me read his hilarities. He even does recruitment. Found a 5th year Psychology course pack of a poor girl. Sent her an e-mail telling her her only method of contact with him is through eHarmony. Heartless bastard.

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

Post the 50+ message tango where you end up standing up the dame.

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I'll post the last message from one of them, which occurred after I described my situation with Ivana. Supposedly, I was not going to be hooking up with this girl (in any social context, so I meant that generally) because she had been recently engaged.

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Originally Posted by Sara

First. My impulse is to feel bad for you. But I understand you'd probably not care too much for that sentiment.

Second. I looked at my previous reply. And I find myself disgusted at my constant references to my so-called "fiancee". Some silly things have happened in those 2 weeks since I last replied to you. My parents are getting divorced. Which is fine. But I defended my father, and I was subsequently kicked out. My boyfriend was right around the corner from me and never offered to help me out. Even though we go to the same school and work the same job. He just told me to "deal with it" and "suck it up", in the face of homelessness. Anyways ... I've gotten fed up with feeling shitty on a continuous basis. I'm done with him. But I'd rather wait until after our exams are done. Just so that he has time to Baker Act himself without failing.

I think, I am just too goddamn nice and self-sacrificing to deserve a guy who doesn't care as much as I'd hoped. I am, once again, sick of men. And being close to them. Letting my walls down. It disgusts me at how vulnerable and naïve I became at the simple suggestion of marriage, that I would let him treat me however he liked, used me, and still continued to be a horrible human being. Yeah. That's my rant for the week.

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She then deleted her account and I never heard from her again neither through text nor email. In the end I decided she talked about her "fiancee" too much anyway and I wrote the whole thing off. Anyways, my point in this is that it's really just a lot of text without anything really interesting.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

Although I haven't been in the situation personally, yes, I do know. I can understand the dilemma between figuring out whether the course of conversation is following the script for "Me and You and Everyone we know", or is just a giant misunderstanding. A friend who trolls dating sites on the regular always has me read his hilarities. He even does recruitment. Found a 5th year Psychology course pack of a poor girl. Sent her an e-mail telling her her only method of contact with him is through eHarmony. Heartless bastard.

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I do have a fake profile up to mess with some of these hypocrites. It's the most boring thing you'll ever read, but has a couple of pictures and a high income listed. He gets a lot of messages telling him that's he's very interesting.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'll post the last message from one of them, which occurred after I described my situation with Ivana. Supposedly, I was not going to be hooking up with this girl (in any social context, so I meant that generally) because she had been recently engaged.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sara

...

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She then deleted her account and I never heard from her again neither through text nor email. In the end I decided she talked about her "fiancee" too much anyway and I wrote the whole thing off. Anyways, my point in this is that it's really just a lot of text without anything really interesting.

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I disagree. This girl is pretty interesting. The way she took her time typing naive properly. The fact that she had expressly stated to you that there was to be no hook-up, and yet she used you as an emotional buffer, specifically avoiding contact with anyone in her physical proximity by falling back to taboo dating sites before trouble occurred. The fact that this previous fact suggests she's probably a consistent emotional wreck and the "suck it up" was advice rather than apathy. If for nothing, it's the gems like Sara that make me highly interested in trying out these sites. Not for the laughs but for the personalities.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I do have a fake profile up to mess with some of these hypocrites. It's the most boring thing you'll ever read, but has a couple of pictures and a high income listed. He gets a lot of messages telling him that's he's very interesting.

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People trying to find someone who will definitely not care about them, on a site intended for the opposite? You don't say! :O

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

I disagree. This girl is pretty interesting. The way she took her time typing naive properly. The fact that she had expressly stated to you that there was to be no hook-up, and yet she used you as an emotional buffer, specifically avoiding contact with anyone in her physical proximity by falling back to taboo dating sites before trouble occurred. The fact that this previous fact suggests she's probably a consistent emotional wreck and the "suck it up" was advice rather than apathy. If for nothing, it's the gems like Sara that make me highly interested in trying out these sites. Not for the laughs but for the personalities.

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Sometimes you'll find a personality, now you're forcing me to dig up the relevant part of that message.

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Sara: I'm wondering .... In the most egotistical sense possible, why do you continue to correspond with me, regardless of my current relationship? Am I honestly that interesting? I apologize, but I am born and raised a Class A suspicious and skeptical individual.

Mary: Well if not anything else, your upfront and candid honesty makes conversation with you interesting, fun. That quip aside, I'd expect the skepticism based on the context, as it would have me just as suspicious. In that regard, I'm glad you asked because explaining it without inquiry would seem kind of odd and out of place.

The reasons why I continue to message you are quite different than when I initiated contact. At first it was just an interesting profile and a cute pic (though I'm admittedly weary of 1 pic profiles, something carried on from a previous acquaintance from years back). It's a bit of self gratification to see if females find me interesting or attractive, thus the probes are sent out to try to validate the strong sense of self-confidence. In reality I tend to believe others don't have a very appealing perception of me due to my intense, frank, and at times caustic personality. I tend to alienate people based on their complete ineptitude at critical thinking and eventual narrow mindedness. Uncharacteristic to my misanthropic ways, I still socialize and talk to new people, always in search of that new perspective.

Still, while continuing our messages, I didn't necessarily have any expectations or angles to work, you are a pleasure to converse with. I am for the most part, a pretty asexual individual, though I'd still have eunuchs and Tesla scoff at my remark. The conversation is what interests me and keeps my lazy ass invested in the effort. After that initial point, you demonstrated, if I can be so cliched, a refreshing outlook, and that's something of value that I'd be hard pressed to dismiss.

So here's to hoping that would make sense, I typed it all out on my phone (kind of limiting my editing capacity). You have to admit if I said all that unprovoked, it would have been quite creepy. Well not that I can claim to be creep-free, I am just able to act with social sensibility when it's worth it.

So now my question for you. Knowing how most guys function on here, are you still going to manage your account given the recent developments? I mean it has to be quite a workload to filter through all the messages, on top of potentially upsetting a jealous fiancee (not that I would assume he is the jealous type, but not knowing anything about him, it's a possibility in my mind). As a follow up to that question, did you have an agenda while talking to me that may no longer be valid? Yikes that sounds a bit confrontational, but I can only assure you it's not... just can't think of another way to word it at the moment and I want to send this out before some unexpected app crash.

Alright, here's to hoping for a reply

Sara: I honestly didn't have any expectations to begin with either, upon initial conversation. Then I began to see some sort of connection, which I am attributing to intellectual conversation. Oh and, of course, my need to have male attention. That sounds horrible, but it's the truth. However, like I am sure I have said countless times, I'm hard pressed to find any male within my age group to carry intellectual conversations without some ulterior motive to get me in bed.

I feel as though I would only continue my account, as I thought about last night, to continue talking to you. Now that, in itself, shocks me. And I feel like continuing a personal reference to you in that matter, as opposed to a general reason, could be misconstrued for a number of reasons. But I'd rather ignore whatever that reason might be, besides my intense love of decent conversation with a member of the opposite sex.

I appreciate the compliments on my interesting something-or-another, but I am wholly confident a multitude of women in our area could be the same as me, if not more interesting.

Does that whole stream of thought answer your question? I honestly wish I could have explained that better, but I am horrid at organizing my thoughts when answering personal questions.

Sara: Also, if given the right circumstances, I most likely would've been attracted to you. I have a strange, masochistic interest in men who are superior to me intellectually. My fiancée is a former med student, who was forced to drop out due to unfortunate financial issues that were out of his control. So, based on his experience in med school, he has more knowledge and skill in the medical field than I do. And that I find incredibly attractive, among other things.

I enjoy intellectually superior men. End of story. I'm sure that's some sort of complex that's deeply rooted in my childhood somewhere. But I avoid psychoanalysis of myself whenever possible.

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Maybe you're just attracting the sort of people who fit with your personality type?

I would like to take a moment to thank God for inventing internet social sites as consequently I'm not nearly so upset by the prospect of dying now.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

I would like to take a moment to thank God for inventing internet social sites as consequently I'm not nearly so upset by the prospect of dying now.

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:console:

Death is the ultimate peace.

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Originally Posted by blogwars

Maybe you're just attracting the sort of people who fit with your personality type?

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Contradictory evidence... they're not all sexy.

I'm not entirely sure if you're asking anything, but if you are, then I don't think you got trolled all of the time; that Sara chick seemed pretty cool. Some others seemed male, like saying something gives you 'ball ache' isn't something I'd ever imagine a girl saying.

What have you got against going out and talking to girls, anyway. I get the impression that you'd talk to complete strangers without compunction in a bar - and surely that would meet your needs better than talking to 48 year old Nepalese metal-workers who use the name 'wolf' to lure in unsuspecting chemists on the internets.

I'm pretty flattered to discover you use the same technique on girls that you use on me - trying to get them to guess something. Like in this case it was your facebook but with me it was your password/email.
Basically I'm saying that I succeeded twice and the 'girl' failed so you can stop looking now.

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Originally Posted by manker

What have you got against going out and talking to girls, anyway. I get the impression that you'd talk to complete strangers without compunction in a bar - and surely that would meet your needs better than talking to 48 year old Nepalese metal-workers who use the name 'wolf' to lure in unsuspecting chemists on the internets.

I'm pretty flattered to discover you use the same technique on girls that you use on me - trying to get them to guess something. Like in this case it was your facebook but with me it was your password/email.
Basically I'm saying that I succeeded twice and the 'girl' failed so you can stop looking now.

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Rather than saying I meet plenty of women in the walk of life, I'd rather point out that I do meet several intelligent women during that same walk. The problem is that I find very few attractive. The rest are idiots and that makes them immediately unattractive. Thus, long ago, I expanded my horizons. So this isn't so much a question as it is an odd review of the process.

I did change their names, by the way, using an algorithm only I could decode successfully in every case. I thought 999969999 would have given that away. Also, you should remember my coy techniques from my other posted chat sessions. I've always been that way, it's one of those things that make me adorable and irresistible.

Have you tried OKCupid? I used it for a couple weeks. I needed a new teenager to help pass the time during the stints when i would get sick of my girls snatch, but then i ended up going back to the old teenager. Anyways, it seemed like a decent site. I got quite a few hits and talked to some pretty interesting bitches. I mean, as interesting as a female can possibly be... It may be worth checking out for you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

What have you got against going out and talking to girls, anyway. I get the impression that you'd talk to complete strangers without compunction in a bar - and surely that would meet your needs better than talking to 48 year old Nepalese metal-workers who use the name 'wolf' to lure in unsuspecting chemists on the internets.

I'm pretty flattered to discover you use the same technique on girls that you use on me - trying to get them to guess something. Like in this case it was your facebook but with me it was your password/email.
Basically I'm saying that I succeeded twice and the 'girl' failed so you can stop looking now.

---

Rather than saying I meet plenty of women in the walk of life, I'd rather point out that I do meet several intelligent women during that same walk. The problem is that I find very few attractive. The rest are idiots and that makes them immediately unattractive. Thus, long ago, I expanded my horizons. So this isn't so much a question as it is an odd review of the process.

I did change their names, by the way, using an algorithm only I could decode successfully in every case. I thought 999969999 would have given that away. Also, you should remember my coy techniques from my other posted chat sessions. I've always been that way, it's one of those things that make me adorable and irresistible.

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I used the word "coy" recently, and found this definition as I was looking to make sure I was using it correctly...

coy/koi/

Adjective:

(esp. of a woman) Making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring but is often regarded as irritating.

As it turns out, you are using it correctly, too. :)

I used the word Koi recently and it turned out I was using it incorrectly as they were actually carp.

Fucking illiterate hoi polloi.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

I used the word Koi recently and it turned out I was using it incorrectly as they were actually carp.

Fucking illiterate hoi polloi.

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Homophones are always fun :)
Except in this case :(

I didn't know Idol had a gay phone? what is it all pink and bling or wot? :blink:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

I didn't know Idol had a gay phone? what is it all pink and bling or wot? :blink:

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I can't answer these very real questions.
About the only thing I'm sure of is that it's set to vibrate.

I hate to point out the obvious Mary, but why are you looking through dating websites if your sex drive is zero and you get all the friendly companionship you want from your wife? It seems to me that you've been fucked over and your personal life ever since has been one big :emo: sulk. The other child has been mean to you, so you've packed up your toys cock and taken it home, and now you're taunting your wife with the possibility of playing with it with someone else. You're only in this position because you don't have the balls to lose everything and start again, and now you're inviting other people into your dysfunctional world. I suppose the only saving grace is you're not really serious about any of it.

Leave it to a woman to not fuck around and just call in an airstrike. :fear:

DEFCON fucking one to the max. :fear:

Tough love x

If tough love means forsaking calling a spade a spade and instead calling a vagina a stinking pit of cuntal loathing - then, yes.
Tough love :ermm:

It's not as though Mary will care. If anything it'll give him the opportunity to formulate some more self-indulgent self-loathing pretentious guff that doesn't really mean anything. Which will sit neatly in the back-catalogue of all his other emotionally ambivalent missives. Time to snap out of it big man, and stop distracting yourself from the task in hand.

If I wanted your opinion on the matter Mrs Squeamous, I'd just break all of our communication and then follow you to various places on the internet making off-handed remarks without being too specific.

Anyway, both of us have our own things going, and I don't take online dating too seriously. I have made a few short term penpals that keep me distracted enough when I find myself all caught up on the threads here. But it's usually just a big joke.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Funkin'

Have you tried OKCupid? I used it for a couple weeks. I needed a new teenager to help pass the time during the stints when i would get sick of my girls snatch, but then i ended up going back to the old teenager. Anyways, it seemed like a decent site. I got quite a few hits and talked to some pretty interesting bitches. I mean, as interesting as a female can possibly be... It may be worth checking out for you.

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I know it, it was created by the guys who did Spark Notes and they use their site to publish various social/dating statistics. It's mostly full of young girls, but it's free.