The burden on the penis

This post is just an articulation akin to those that I've conducted for my own selfish purposes in the past.

So I just got done fingerbanging m'lady, and the events of tonight have ruminations swirling in my head.

Though unspoken, I could feel a sense of disappointment in the lack of participation by my penis. The reality of it was that I just wasn't really feeling amorous tonight, but I have yet to proclaim an outright refusal since this adventure began (6 months ago). I loosely label myself as asexual, but I am still susceptible to carnal urges. I tend to enjoy them during states of intoxication or occasional mornings, but I'm not so amiable to nights and post-feedings. I shared these particulars early in the relationship, but it may have been counterproductive to creating an understanding since that overlapped a period of mental novelty. Also, I'd say I'm a pretty good steelworker, and now I feel like I've set the bar too high; I've set myself up for failure.

We've gotten on quite well, but I've been feeling the pressure lately. She likes to instigate at night, and I typically have fresh memories of stuffing my innards at those times. I've obliged in each case, which can be summarily categorized for me to fall under pleasure palace or evening chore. There have been no spans of time that allow me build up a sufficient offensive, and I feel like that has been perceived. She hid all of my underwear last week while I was in the shower and instructed that I had to earn them back. It was a bit of a fun exercise, but it seemed to have had the repercussions of putting me on the silent defensive. Has it gone this far? Has the abundant thrusting fatigued me so much that blackmail had to enter the foray?

My unfiltered candor was a major factor in the nearly fatal blow of my last relationship, thus I have been employing tact this time. Therein lies my obstacle. I'm not used to this, for it was so easy just to spout blunt truths and derived opinions that I've had no practice in any other art. I am trying to be more sensitive, and I feel like I am working with the wrong set of tools.

I have a suspicion that she might be seeking validation. She tells me about the random strangers that hit on her every other day without offering any clues regarding the species she's fishing from me. Yes, she's pretty, but am I supposed to reverberate this notion every time whilst being agonized by the tedium of repetition? I want to exclaim that I've been witness to such encounters so many times that each remix is utterly uninteresting. However, I refrain and only reply in levity and inquiry as my personality permits. This will build up to a rift, a catalyst of discourse that sets all records straight, but there's still nothing but continuity on the horizon from my current perspective.

I'll vacate rhetorical and self-reflective questions to ask this: what would you do in this situation? My little stump and I are a little stumped.

Spend less time typing and more time doing. By the time you have formulated this essay, you could have got it up three times in a row.

You need to be more concise. Not everyone has the attention span of an Oxford Post Graduate. The likes of Oleg and Dion would be stumped by your first sentence, if not your first word. There would be no chance of even finishing the first paragraph.

Small is beautiful, and keeping it small will benefit mankind much more than the rhetoric and preamble that convolutes most essays. Also, keeping it small also means that the meaning isn't lost amidst a wave of benign conjogulations.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

This post is just an articulation..........

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When pressed,I will admit to a certain amount of grudging respect that for such an obvious serial killer you've managed to elude the Law for so long.

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Originally Posted by TheFoX

Small is beautiful, and keeping it small will benefit mankind...

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Ironic, that.

My only real advice in this case would lean towards the biblical, and a quote along the lines of 'if the right eye offends thee pluck it out!'

And always wear clean underpants.

smash her backdoors in. Job done. :smilie4:

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Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

smash her backdoors in. Job done. :smilie4:

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Attachment 137161

*Image borrowed from ckrit in another thread.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

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Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

smash her backdoors in. Job done. :smilie4:

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Attachment 137161

*Image borrowed from ckrit in another thread.

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I bet you say that to all the Boys...

Only the pretty ones :ghey:

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Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

Only the pretty ones :ghey:

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Well Meg is safe then......

I see I am fighting an uphill battle here when I argue for the sanctity of the backdoor. I should have known... :no:

The sanctity of the backdoor.... :blink:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

The sanctity of the backdoor.... :blink:

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syn: inviolability.

You are still being very creepy, first aligning your ass with religion, then giving it superpowers. It is time to revisit your medication schedule.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

You are still being very creepy, first aligning your ass with religion, then giving it superpowers. It is time to revisit your medication schedule.

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:lol::D Even so, I'd still be FAR from the first ever drugged up, religious, super-asshole...

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

:lol::D Even so, I'd still be FAR from the first ever drugged up, religious, super-asshole...

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Rationalization only makes it worse. :noes:

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Originally Posted by TheFoX

Spend less time typing and more time doing. By the time you have formulated this essay, you could have got it up three times in a row.

You need to be more concise.

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I don't have that kind of time on my hands at the moment.

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Originally Posted by Snee

And always wear clean underpants.

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My tendency to do so led me into the aforementioned trap.

I'm not interested in the back door, at least not currently. I might open with, "we need to have a talk"... like way later down the road. She was amped for a recent career change and it all just fell through. I don't want to pile on at this time.

Happy Birthday, mary. Maybe she'll give your appendage a day off in lieu of the celebrations.

Wouldn't count on it, though.

I had to re-read this thread, as I thought the title was a reference to Dion.

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Originally Posted by chalice

Happy Birthday, mary. Maybe she'll give your appendage a day off in lieu of the celebrations.

Wouldn't count on it, though.

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She got me a knife, like a really sharp knife. It was awesome despite my continuous barking that I don't celebrate or participate in any of the annual traditions.

In any case, let's not mention appendage and off in the same sentence for a little while.

The ladies do have it easy('cept for the whole monthly visit thing and pregnancy). All they have to do is spread their legs. Us men have an appendage to get to stand up. Which when you get in your thirties isn't as easy as it once was.

Especially if you take meds that affect your libido. If i am able to get hard, probably seven out of ten times i won't even get my nut. So then I have to listen to the girl whine about not being sexy enough for me...

Nowadays i rarely bother with sex. There are better things i can be doing with my time(like getting high and playing video games).

I have noticed that my libido and work ethic do not share the same airspace. That's been one of the problems, working my ass off; I'm barely even yanking it these days. Maybe this is all just some temporary slump, and it will be forgotten as I set myself right.

It's an incredibly long slump.....So you are destined to either have a work life or a sex life? Since you primarily list yourself as asexual it won't be a huge loss anyway?

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Originally Posted by Funkin';3719854Especially if you [B

take meds that affect your libido[/B]. If i am able to get hard, probably seven out of ten times i won't even get my nut. So then I have to listen to the girl whine about not being sexy enough for me...

Nowadays i rarely bother with sex. There are better things i can be doing with my time(like getting high and playing video games).

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1. Morphine is bad enough, methadone has got to be quite the peen deflater. :console:

2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

sole
2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

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I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

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Originally Posted by Funkin'

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

sole
2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

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I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

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My Mum has a nice 1950's corset to suit the decade, if you're interested, give me a shout.

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Originally Posted by Funkin'

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

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I think that's because, like me, you'd hate to add an extra frown on a young child's already disappointed face.

I wouldn't have thought that to be much of an issue,what with the duct tape and all.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

I wouldn't have thought that to be much of an issue,what with the duct tape and all.

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Why waste duct tape when you can freely work on interpersonal skills?

adADSad

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Originally Posted by tenkzpsp

adADSad

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What the robot said.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by tenkzpsp

adADSad

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What the robot said.

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Don't scoff as the robot made twice as much sense as dion#### ever does.

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Originally Posted by Funkin'

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

sole
2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

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I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

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Remember: It is NEVER the peen's fault. Never.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

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Originally Posted by Funkin'

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

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Remember: It is NEVER the peen's fault. Never.

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In truth, it is just a conspiracy concocted by a two-headed beast.

If that's the view you have, you're at the right place.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

This post is just an ejaculation....

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Yes, we see that.

It's all white and sticky.




Hello, mj.

I see not much has changed during my sojourn. :)

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Originally Posted by j2k4

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

This post is just an ejaculation....

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Yes, we see that.

It's all white and sticky.




Hello, mj.

I see not much has changed during my sojourn. :)

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Everything has changed, I think. For example, it's a Tuesday, right? Also, I got my chupacabra removed.

Welcome back, Kev. :)

RE: Everything's changed...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Matter_of_Minutes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJGm_8GWYpM