moving in with my assigned vagina tomorrow, tonight is my last night of living alone - but how best to abuse it? What will i crave to do once i'm a kept woman? :kiss:
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moving in with my assigned vagina tomorrow, tonight is my last night of living alone - but how best to abuse it? What will i crave to do once i'm a kept woman? :kiss:
Find a particularly big carrot and shove it up your ass.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
funny you should mention that, someone whatsapp'd me a video a couple days ago of an old man doing just that, pulling the shit covered carrot out of his arse and eating it :mushy:
I think Idol was trying to shock you....little did he know.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
Strip off, leaving all the dirty clothes wherever they drop, trample all over them all night long, walk around bollock naked with a can of alcohol in one hand, scratching your arse & your balls manly lyke with the other one, farting loud & proud, sit down with beer and clip your toenails making sure they shoot all over the floor never to be found belching as often as you can.
Or just create a man cave out of the spare room in the new place and carry on as normal.
Download a Jenna Haze HD Pack and have fun! :wank:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
I doubt anything I could possibly say would shock Mudler so you'd be wrong,goat farmer.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisI think Idol was trying to shock you....little did he know.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
Approximation to the truth be told,I was simply trying to think of the most disgustingly embarrassing thing someone might attempt in the privacy of their own home and that was the first thing that came to mind.
Also Meg told me that's what he does when the wife's at work and after he's locked the kids in the closet.
Butt carrots aside, enjoy your last night as a free man. Enjoy it to the max, like the wind :cry:
You at least have the announced transition. I was pondering the other day about how I think my girlfriend lives with me.
I mean, I know she has her own place, but I don't think she spends even 24 hours in a week with her things .
It just kind of snuck up on me. Yikes, where is my focus? Whose thread is this?
Sadly that doesn't surprise me. :idunno:Quote:
Originally Posted by IdolEyes787Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
....I was simply trying to think of the most disgustingly embarrassing thing someone might attempt in the privacy of their own home and that was the first thing that came to mind.
Also Meg told me that's what he does when the wife's at work and after he's locked the kids in the closet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snee
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,Bobby McGee.
At least you have a girlfriend and probably have a normal social life. But me... I am just a loser on disability.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Yeah we got that already.Could you please change the record?
She cooks for me like almost every day, it's fantastic.Quote:
Originally Posted by OlegLAt least you have a girlfriend and probably have a normal social life. But me... I am just a loser on disability.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Beside that, Oleg, let me tell you about one of the problems I'm having. This girlfriend of mine wants much more sex than I can give her. It can be a bit stressful, I mean all that sex. Early on, after I got over some of my sex issues, it was great. However, sex every other day or even once a week is really more than I can handle. Count yourself lucky that you're not having the same sex issues as me, poor me.
Better get to playing that Splinter Cell: Blacklist while you can. After tomorrow, it'll be nothing but "Spend some time with meee" and "Video games are sooo stupid." :no:
I still envy you because you have a normal social life.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyShe cooks for me like almost every day, it's fantastic.Quote:
Originally Posted by OlegL
Beside that, Oleg, let me tell you about one of the problems I'm having. This girlfriend of mine wants much more sex than I can give her. It can be a bit stressful, I mean all that sex. Early on, after I got over some of my sex issues, it was great. However, sex every other day or even once a week is really more than I can handle. Count yourself lucky that you're not having the same sex issues as me, poor me.
And Teh SECKS. LOTS and LOTS of Teh SECKS. We ALL do.*Quote:
Originally Posted by OlegL
*Idol feasts on The COCK, but still (while morally reprehensible, will bring about his eternal damnation, and is icky), he is having Teh SECKS, too.
aaaaaaannd Debbie Downer has arrived.Quote:
Originally Posted by OlegLI still envy you because you have a normal social life.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Womp womp woommmmp....
Let me step out of it for a moment and tell you, no, I do not currently have a social life. I went too far under to pay my rent on time in December because I had to spend $600 to replace my axle. I have paid exorbitant late fees due to the timing of the monthly invoice payouts for both of my jobs.Quote:
Originally Posted by OlegLI still envy you because you have a normal social life.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
In an effort to regain some kind of financial stability, I've been working 60+ hours a week. This was all to reset the cycle, and I am just now able to pay rent before the due date. This left me almost no time for any kind of normal social life since the beginning of November with only a couple exceptions.
You, on the other hand, receive financial assistance and neglect your school work. Given that scenario, you should be socializing 10 times more than I do. What's your excuse?
the move went well lyke, we got a king size bed off one of her attractive female friends for dirt cheap cos she was moving out of her place too. i asked her to include soiled sheets but that was met with silence and a glare. and we got a sweet set of sofas off gumtree for next to nothing too, just need a washing machine now - whatever the fuck one of those is, some machine used for washing smaller machines i would assume :eyebrows:
i made her go make friends with the people downstairs and see if they'd give us their wifi password. they turned out to be an old couple who didn't understand the importance of having Internets and happily gave it up, so free wifi :01:
she's got some ugly friends coming over tonight though which is why i was smart enough to set t'xbox up n the bedroom :sly:
A washing machine is similar in function to a dishwasher ie. a place to store dirty stuff out of eyesight.