Beard

Dear Interwebs,

My beard is quite large now. I'm looking like a homeless man. Is there a way of shaving half of it off. I tried a few months ago, but the one sided face look didn't reap much reward. I'm thinking half of the length all over this time. I have some hair clippers, but I've lost the attachments. It's a zero, or nothing I suspect.

Advice appreciated.

Thank you and kind regards,

-Something Else

You almost certainly had an Afro comb at some point in the past.

Give your beard a flat top type cut, presumably with a tempered faze or something else.

Something like this.

Attachment 164926

Yes, then go and steal some white goods.

I was going to steal a Brown, three-piece suit. Racist.

You're very specific about what the racist you want to steal is wearing.

I trim mine about every 6 weeks or so when I think about it, using a cheap comb and nice barber type scissors. Comb the whole thing sort of up and out so your beard sticks straight out. That way you can easily see all the strays and longer hairs. Then just start cutting small amounts. DO NOT cut big areas like a haircut, just do bits at a time. In about five mins you'll have it nice and trimmed back. After that I take trimmers and trim back more hair this time like the sideburns and cheek areas again, using the comb in the same way.

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Originally Posted by Something Else

Dear Interwebs,

My beard is quite large now. I'm looking like a homeless man. Is there a way of shaving half of it off. I tried a few months ago, but the one sided face look didn't reap much reward. I'm thinking half of the length all over this time. I have some hair clippers, but I've lost the attachments. It's a zero, or nothing I suspect.

Advice appreciated.

Thank you and kind regards,

-Something Else

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I watch the news so I would suggest you turn yourself into the nearest authorities, terrorist.

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Originally Posted by Skiz

I trim mine about every 6 weeks or so when I think about it, using a cheap comb and nice barber type scissors. Comb the whole thing sort of up and out so your beard sticks straight out. That way you can easily see all the strays and longer hairs. Then just start cutting small amounts. DO NOT cut big areas like a haircut, just do bits at a time. In about five mins you'll have it nice and trimmed back. After that I take trimmers and trim back more hair this time like the sideburns and cheek areas again, using the comb in the same way.

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Thanks. I found a beard shop that does it for a tenner and gives you whiskey.

Don't never let another man lay hands upon your whiskers.

Between the threads of late, we've go a panic-stricken mentalist who can no longer contain himself on public transport, and another who could be (mis)taken for a hobo/terrorist.

Yep, pretty much the same user base as always.

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Originally Posted by Skiz

Don't never let another man lay hands upon your whiskers.

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Homophobe.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Between the threads of late, we've go a panic-stricken mentalist who can no longer contain himself on public transport, and another who could be (mis)taken for a hobo/terrorist.

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If television has taught me anything it's that their destinies are going to violently collide during sweeps.

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Originally Posted by Something Else

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Originally Posted by Skiz

Don't never let another man lay hands upon your whiskers.

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Homophobe.

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Big talk from a guy with a jihad beard.:eyebrows:

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

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Originally Posted by Something Else

Homophobe.

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Big talk from a guy with a jihad beard.:eyebrows:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Between the threads of late, we've go a panic-stricken mentalist who can no longer contain himself on public transport, and another who could be (mis)taken for a hobo/terrorist.

Yep, pretty much the same user base as always.

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Racialists.

Salim Else :sneaky:

Eye like it.

*Not an intentional eye-patch joke.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Between the threads of late, we've go a panic-stricken mentalist who can no longer contain himself on public transport, and another who could be (mis)taken for a hobo/terrorist.

Yep, pretty much the same user base as always.

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It's actually a lot better than it used to be.

Some of the winkers going about were unbelievable.

I should know I was there, or do I mean hear.

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Originally Posted by Something Else

My beard is quite large now.

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DO NOT GO TO PARIS. Not unless you want people to mistake you for an EyeSys fella, and start filling you with lead.

(Why the fuck does such a group of retards use such a cool acronym).

I shaved off the left half of it. True story. Now I can blend in anywhere.

Attachment 164955

Or at least anywhere that mental people gather.

That will have to do. :smilie4:

Mental people gather wherever they want.

They do whatever they want.

How is going to try to stop them, they are mental.

Let the beard grow, a full beard looks good.

It started to grow beard on my testicles but I'll shave them to be sexy.

Who did.

the beard.

Dion could you please post a picture of your beard because I've be dying to see what your girlfriend looks like.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Dion could you please post a picture of your beard because I've be dying to see what your girlfriend looks like.

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:artist: :artist:

I think i understood, and i didn't need a day to figure that out :lol: :lol:

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Originally Posted by shaina

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Dion could you please post a picture of your beard because I've be dying to see what your girlfriend looks like.

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:artist: :artist:

I think i understood, and i didn't need a day to figure that out :lol: :lol:

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Not that I don't trust you, but you're going to have to explain it now, and please be completely off the mark.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Not that I don't trust you, but you're going to have to explain it now, and please be completely off the mark.

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Get Set..... GOOOOOOOOO!:D

Oh wait.... Is that on the mark:unsure:

I really don't think he has any hair on his big head??:idunno:

:batman:

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Dion could you please post a picture of your beard because I've be dying to see what your girlfriend looks like.

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:lol: :earl:

I honestly did.

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Originally Posted by shaina

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Not that I don't trust you, but you're going to have to explain it now, and please be completely off the mark.

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Get Set..... GOOOOOOOOO!:D

Oh wait.... Is that on the mark:unsure:

I really don't think he has any hair on his big head??:idunno:

:batman:

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If I had known using polite language could produce substantial results sooner, I wouldn't have relegated it exclusively to uses of sarcasm.

Anyways, I'm a joke explainer, so I'll perform my duty here.

A beard is a colloquial term that identifies a woman who a gay man dates as a prop to convince people he is straight.

Said female is acquired in lieu of growing an epic beard to prove manliness.

All of this is derived from our stereotypes of what defines gender.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

If I had known using polite language could produce substantial results sooner, I wouldn't have relegated it exclusively to uses of sarcasm.
Anyways, I'm a joke explainer, so I'll perform my duty here.
A beard is a colloquial term that identifies a woman who a gay man dates as a prop to convince people he is straight.
Said female is acquired in lieu of growing an epic beard to prove manliness.
All of this is derived from our stereotypes of what defines gender.

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What about Armpit hair?? Do you have an analogy about that??:unsure:
And if you could add in closing why some men wax or bleach around the sphincter area??:yup: And don't tell me it is for Aerodynamics:)

PS. Dions comments of shaving his balls/testicles had nothing to do with Idols viewing request?:unsure:

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Originally Posted by shaina

What about Armpit hair?? Do you have an analogy about that??:unsure:
And if you could add in closing why some men wax or bleach around the sphincter area??:yup: And don't tell me it is for Aerodynamics:)

PS. Dions comments of shaving his balls/testicles had nothing to do with Idols viewing request?:unsure:

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If you ever had to suffer the draining experience of my company, you would have to acquiesce to the fact that I fit the role of a genius. Despite that depressing scenario of a foretold realization, the term is not my invention, and I'm no follicle of knowledge with respect to hirsute colloquialisms.

Also, at some point, all of us have shaved our balls once or watched some pornography, so I doubt that any of us currently maintain curiosities for silken pouches.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by shaina

What about Armpit hair?? Do you have an analogy about that??:unsure:
And if you could add in closing why some men wax or bleach around the sphincter area??:yup: And don't tell me it is for Aerodynamics:)

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If you ever had to suffer the draining experience of my company, you would have to acquiesce to the fact that I fit the role of a genius. Despite that depressing scenario of a foretold realization, the term is not my invention, and I'm no follicle of knowledge with respect to hirsute colloquialisms.
Also, at some point, all of us have shaved our balls once or watched some pornography, so I doubt that any of us currently maintain curiosities for silken pouches.

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I was actually just kidding:lol: Your explanation was quite accurate , but getting any interpretation from you is always fun to read:D
So the answers to the questions are still outstanding, and i will be waiting for a great insightful opinion/explanation??

PS. I still shave my balls and watch porn;):afro:

Complimenting an egotist is like give a handgun to a monkey.
It doesn't matter how good your intentions were.You know it can't end well.:no:

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Complimenting an egotist is like give a handgun to a monkey.
It doesn't matter how good your intentions were.You know it can't end well.:no:

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You mean a egotist monkey that doesn't know how to push a friend button??:whistling

Friend to no man,hero to us all.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Friend to no man,hero to us all.

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Who's quote is that from history??