Quote:
Originally posted by clocker@7 March 2004 - 18:58
To continue...
The inside of your trailer should be decorated with care, too.
You'll want to make a good impression on the police, who will be your most frequent visitors.
The first ( and in many cases, only) piece of furniture you'll want to get is a plasma screen TV.
The bigger the better...if you go crosseyed looking at it, that will be about right.
All the rest of your furnishings should cost, in total, less than the TV.
This shows proper understanding of priorities.
Any furniture can be covered in plaid bed sheets ( preferably red) as this will hide stains ( blood particularly) well.
Formica will complement the plaid nicely.
Use it liberally, to patch holes, cover rot and avoid painting.
Formica is your friend.
Color and pattern are left to your discretion, but too much coordination is effete, so mix and match if possible.
A nice accessory is children.
They do not necessarily have to be yours.
Smaller is better here, older kids can be a nuisance and should be put out as soon as feasable...14 at the latest.
Any older and patricide becomes an all too real possibillity.
Naturally, above the plasma tv you will need the centerpiece of your home...the velvet painting.
Elvis, cliched as he is, is a "can't miss" subject, but the naked "Nubian princess" is a close runner up.
Do not let objections from the ole lady influence your decision in this area.
She can be replaced ( or "lost")...your comfort is paramount.
Stick closely to your inner vision and all will be well.
You will need a piece of Dale Earnhart memorabilia of course, but I assume you have that already....
Man, you know your shit!!!