[GUIDE] How to switch your computer on

First of all ensure you actually have a computer and haven't confused a microwave for your pc.

Computer:http://www.btinternet.com/~shawweb/stephen/pc.jpg

Not a computer:http://www.gananoque.com/nhl/microwave.jpg

Next ensure that it is plugged in at the mains. There is no need to lick the plug before plugging it in. Below is a standard plug for the UK and Malaysia.

http://www.firstphoneshop.co.uk/2004-images/plug.jpeg

If you are in the US or Canada then you will have a plug set-up like this below. Please don't try to plug a US plug into a UK mains. Though this shouldn't be a problem unless you have a very long wire.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...ese/usplug.jpg

Please ensure at all times that it is a plug that you are trying to insert into the mains.

WRONG:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...heese/key2.jpg

Before you actually switch on your machine ensure that no pets are inside the computer. Cats are especially notorius for getting inside your machine trying to "fix" things.

WRONG:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...atinaflap2.jpg

Next press the 'ON' button. This is usually located at the front of the computer. This needs to be pressed firmly, saying "Make it so" as you press it is optional.

http://www.im-visions.com/pro/data/media/42/pc_187.jpg


*Note: This is my guide so far, it's still a work in progress but I'm hoping to get it moved to the Guide Section. Any comments would be helpful, particularly from other countries because you have wierd plugs.

Special thanks to Rossco for his invaluable help with US/Canadian plugs and thanks to Maskawaih for help with Malaysian plugs.

Thanks also to my Health and Safety advisor, Arcadia.

Very informative :D

lol haha love the cat

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Originally Posted by DanB

Very informative :D

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Thanks Dan, I appreciate your support.

My next project, when I've finished this one, is to write a guide on how to turn off your computer. I'm going to have to do some research first though.

ok ok i think i got it

yes ok

I got that far - its on (making buzzing noises n stuff)
what now?

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Originally Posted by ziggyjuarez

lol haha love the cat

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Perhaps the cat will confuse people? Maybe I should change the picture...

I have just recommended your guide to be pinned via the report system :)

canadian, us, and possibly somewhere else wall outlet: http://nominimumstore.com/catalog/images/SR227.jpg

and the plug: http://www.tonycolter.com/photos/potd/potd-20030620.jpg

:)

edit: got the two pis screwed up. :rolleyes:

Cheers Ross, I'll add them to my guide.

rossco claps.

Malaysia use something like this too

http://www.firstphoneshop.co.uk/2004-images/plug.jpeg

Cheers Mask. I've added the relevant info.

Perhaps explain the dangers of sending you pets in to have a look when it won’t turn on? :unsure:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...insidecomp.jpg

(He’s called Timmy, doesn’t say much, keeps to him self, doesn’t care for peripheral components)

:oso thats how the cat face gets on the screen!?!

Cheers Rob I've added an ammendment to the guide and a special thanks.

aawwwww shucks :blushing:

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Originally Posted by Arcadia

aawwwww shucks :blushing:

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:lol: blushing... :lol:

Ok please help me and go over the part about the plugging in.

Do I strip the wire first or not?

You were not very clear.

Also, is the cat an integral part of the computer? Mine did not come with one and I'm worried that Dell Computer shafted me. :angry:

Your help would greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance!!! :)

Some questions will have to wait until Part Two: Advanced Computer Inialization Theory.

With regards to the cat it's a well known fact that no-one ever got pussy with a computer. :(

I would test it out except I have yet to see your guide to turning it off...... please help

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Originally Posted by Mathea

I would test it out except I have yet to see your guide to turning it off...... please help

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Robert00000000 is helping me co-author that guide. He is an expert in turning things off.

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

Some questions will have to wait until Part Two: Advanced Computer Inialization Theory.

With regards to the cat it's a well known fact that no-one ever got pussy with a computer. :(

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Come on man. Just help me out.

I want to like really use this doohickey one day. :01:

I heard that you could get pussy through a computer.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...insidecomp.jpg The pic clearly shows you did. Why can't I?

(Even though it seems you only could get the head through) :dry:

Btw has anyone ever told you that your pussy has a big head? :blink:

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Originally Posted by Mathea

I would test it out except I have yet to see your guide to turning it off...... please help

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I'm with you on that Mathea. Withoutchedda if you are going to start something, follow through DAMNIT!! :angry:

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

Robert00000000 is helping me co-author that guide. He is an expert in turning things off.

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:lol: :lol:

too true!

okies well as u can see you now got me n busyman ready to test out ur guide, but we need a little more effort on your side first

Help! I cannot connect to the internet :(




Quality guide, Cheese :lol: :lol:

oh dear poor manker... i hope u get the internet soon as ur missing out on loads of stuff

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Originally Posted by manker

Help! I cannot connect to the internet :(




Quality guide, Cheese :lol: :lol:

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Your on the internet, STUPID!!! :blink:

Stop wasting his time with dumbass questions ya wanker bastard!!! :angry:

Now let's get back to this turning my computer on...........

:)

now now i think cheese will just have to put his social life on hold so he can help everyone out

after all, Busyman needs help turnin his comp on and mankers still stuck without an online connection


hurry the fuck up cheese.. you started this mess now fix it! :P

:lol:

I feel so dumb now. I still can't connect to the internet tho' and I'm missing out on all the DVDs that my friends download from the internet. Whenever I open my DVD drive it's still empty :crying:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

:lol:

I feel so dumb now. I still can't connect to the internet tho' and I'm missing out on all the DVDs that my friends download from the internet. Whenever I open my DVD drive it's still empty :crying:

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damn! i would help if i could, but my comp doesnt even have a dvd thingy.... tho it does have a lovely cup holder.. .so if u ever want coffee lemme know

I've followed your guide setp-by-step but my computer still won't start what should I do now :huh:

note:the pussy that came with it said this is how it's supposed to look,I'm not so sure :dry:

http://img79.exs.cx/img79/292/StupidComputer.jpg

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

Robert00000000 is helping me co-author that guide. He is an expert in turning things off.

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Damn, that Robert00000000 is smart cos i can't figure out how to do that. Its prolly cos i only have 5 zero's :(

I've been trying to switch off this machine but the chick keeps saying 'Stop pressing my nipples' and hits me :huh:

Sorry guys,

A rogue cat turned my computer off and without the benefit of my helpful guide it took me ages to get back online.

thank god uve returned. manker is in some serious trouble cheese and it looks as though ur the only one with the proper knowledge to save the day

Does anyone have a guide on how to read threads?

This should be pinned in hardwareworld :lol:

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

Does anyone have a guide on how to read threads?

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I think BAwa is working on that one :huh:

Maybe you could write a second part on laptops?
Had to call the support line for mine this very afternoon...
Those buggers want 20 euros now! :angry:

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Originally Posted by Guillaume

Maybe you could write a second part on laptops?
Had to call the support line for mine this very afternoon...
Those buggers want 20 euros now! :angry:

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Could you not turn it on? :unsure:

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Originally Posted by DanB

I have just recommended your guide to be pinned via the report system :)

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The thread reporting mechanism is not a toy. http://www.mcbriens.net/liam/img/smilies/whack.gif