Should Children be Hit as a form of Punishment

I was wakked with a stick at boarding school
what the result of that act is pure paranoia and resentment to authority
but that it actually helps i dont know
it defnetly wakes you up

Isn't

No

and

There are other methods to make them understand that they sis wrong

about the same thing? :huh:

I believe a child needs a whack for certain things especially when it involves their safety.

No. Never.

That shows poor parenting, I think.

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Originally Posted by manker

No. Never.

That shows poor parenting, I think.

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Why?

I'm not comfortable with the word "hit", I also have doubts with the word "punishment".

Oh dear.. :no:

Edit: I agree with this ---.
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I haven't voted in the poll - there needs to be a better definition of "hit".

I would never, under any circumstances "hit" my child.

I would and have spanked them, generally when they are doing something that jeopardizes their safety, and only after other forms of punishment, such as standing in the corner or taking a time out have failed. It hasn't happened often.

That said, I wouldn't use anything other than my open hand to spank them.

It all depends on the kid's personality - There's no all-effective option.

If a kid is gentle and generally good, then other methods should be done.

If the kid is a little bastard and no amount of therapy can help it, then the kid needs to be hit - But only to an extent.

My dad used to smack my hand when I was naughty and that sorted me out - Raising a fist to a kid is a completely different matter.

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

I haven't voted in the poll - there needs to be a better definition of "hit".

I would never, under any circumstances "hit" my child.

I would and have spanked them, generally when they are doing something that jeopardizes their safety, and only after other forms of punishment, such as standing in the corner or taking a time out have failed. It hasn't happened often.

That said, I wouldn't use anything other than my open hand to spank them.

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Yes, I wish you'd posted before me, then I could just say "I agree".. ;)

I used to get spanked with all sorts of things when I was naughty as a kid, be it a hand, a flip flop or a garden cane.

In fact I remember once the garden cane actually broke on my arse. :lol:

I don't think it has done me any harm but I would never use an 'accessory' if the point came where I did smack any children i might have

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

I haven't voted in the poll - there needs to be a better definition of "hit".

I would never, under any circumstances "hit" my child.

I would and have spanked them,

That said, I wouldn't use anything other than my open hand to spank them.

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Well....you have hit them, plain and simple.

I do not necessarily hit a child for punshment. It's more to get my point across and very rarely has to be done.

I've tapped my girlfriends child on the bottom and it's more for effect than anything. Punishment er nahhhhh. :dry:

When it's something involving her safety, I'll smack her hand and make sure stings. Again this is for effect. Maybe if she remembers the sting she won't bolt out into the street in which case I won't be able to give her time-out for she won't be available. :dry:

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Originally Posted by Busyman

Why?

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I took hit to mean that the adult would do so to cause the child pain and suffering.

I'd never do that, words are far more effective.

You stated above about tapping a child on the bottom. I think that's OK if you want to get their attention and let them know that you're serious.

In my opinion that is quite different from 'hitting' - altho' I am quite sure the raw definition of hit would encompass this.

I suppose my definition of hit is a little different then - I look at hitting as punching, which is something I would never under any circumstances do.

Oops, thanks manker, you "beat" me to it.

Yes.

I plan on teaching my children the true meaning of fear. :devil:

Nah, children shouldn't be hit.

But they should still be made to work in mines and to clean our chimneys. Damn freeloaders.

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Originally Posted by manker

I took hit to mean that the adult would do so to cause the child pain and suffering.

I'd never do that, words are far more effective.

You stated above about tapping a child on the bottom. I think that's OK if you want to get their attention and let them know that you're serious.

In my opinion that is quite different from 'hitting' - altho' I am quite sure the raw definition of hit would encompass this.

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Originally Posted by Nikki D

I suppose my definition of hit is a little different then - I look at hitting as punching, which is something I would never under any circumstances do.

Oops, thanks manker, you "beat" me to it.

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Sugar coating. I get it.

When I hit my girlfriend's little girl on the hand, I am trying cause pain.

I talk to her during and afterwards. I believe it's necessary for her to know why with a pain accompaniment.

I may do the same during a public tantrum. I see children acting all willy nilly in public and their parent's talk does nothing.

Hitting has it's place as a last resort.

I prefer taking something away that they reeeeally like.
That's gets to them better on a normal basis.

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Originally Posted by Busyman

Sugar coating. I get it.

When I hit my girlfriend's little girl on the hand, I am trying cause pain.

I talk to her during and afterwards. I believe it's necessary for her to know why with a pain accompaniment.

I may do the same during a public tantrum. I see children acting all willy nilly in public and their parent's talk does nothing.

Hitting has it's place as a last resort.

I prefer taking something away that they reeeeally like.
That's gets to them better on a normal basis.

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I don't see that as sugar coating - there is a big difference between a spank on the butt or the hand and a punch.

I do agree that a spanking has it's place as a last resort.

I always found though, that ignoring a tantrum, even in public, was the best method to deal with it. They give up faster if they know they're getting nowhere. I never really had that problem with mine, but my aunt's kids... I love them, I really do, but her 5 year old can be a monster at times. He's the type who throws tantrums (still) on a daily basis, and ignoring it does nothing, cause he'll keep screaming for 5 hours if necessary. No, I'm not exaggerating. That is one child who could really use a spanking or two.

I also agree that taking things away for a period of time works well too.

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

I haven't voted in the poll - there needs to be a better definition of "hit".

I would never, under any circumstances "hit" my child.

I would and have spanked them, generally when they are doing something that jeopardizes their safety, and only after other forms of punishment, such as standing in the corner or taking a time out have failed. It hasn't happened often.

That said, I wouldn't use anything other than my open hand to spank them.

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:01: :01:

It also has to be so rare an event that the shock of it happening at all reinforces it..

If its done too often, you'll just rear someone that believes that violence is the answer to getting their own way.

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

I don't see that as sugar coating - there is a big difference between a spank on the butt or the hand and a punch.

I do agree that a spanking has it's place as a last resort.

I always found though, that ignoring a tantrum, even in public, was the best method to deal with it. They give up faster if they know they're getting nowhere. I never really had that problem with mine, but my aunt's kids... I love them, I really do, but her 5 year old can be a monster at times. He's the type who throws tantrums (still) on a daily basis, and ignoring it does nothing, cause he'll keep screaming for 5 hours if necessary. No, I'm not exaggerating. That is one child who could really use a spanking or two.

I also agree that taking things away for a period of time works well too.

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Well it is sugar coating. It's all hitting. Period. That's all word semantics like
"he passed away", no he died.

I never ignore a tantrum. When I say tantrum, I don't mean a couple jumping up and downs. I mean something that last minutes.

I see it in public all the time. The parents don't do shit and the child keeps going.

Children like attention as long as there are no immediate consequences.
A stinging hand is an immediate consequence.
From then on, I can talk sternly and that's enough.

Set tone early and there's less HITTING later.

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Originally Posted by 15%

I was wakked with a stick at boarding school

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If a teacher did that to me i would seriously floor em

i'm sure there's better methods of punishing a child, but if i was a parent it would probably be my method of choice, since it was how i was raised, and it seems to have worked out fine :unsure:

my dad used a bamboo cane to hit me, but never on the head or torso - i would definately draw the line of 'hitting' at anything more than a red mark

as for the resentment to authority, as 15% put it, i think i've always been stubborn, which is what got me hit in the first place

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Originally Posted by DarthInsinuate

i'm sure there's better methods of punishing a child, but if i was a parent it would probably be my method of choice, since it was how i was raised, and it seems to have worked out fine :unsure:

my dad used a bamboo cane to hit me, but never on the head or torso - i would definately draw the line of 'hitting' at anything more than a red mark

as for the resentment to authority, as 15% put it, i think i've always been stubborn, which is what got me hit in the first place

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That's barbaric.

Rise above that. A 'clip around the ear' or a 'tap on the bum' is all you need to do if you can communicate well with your child. Kids are difficult, I suppose, but not so difficult as you need weapons to keep them in line.

Says manker, the dad of an 8 month old - I shouldn't be commenting, really :rolleyes:

There are folk here who know more about this than me, which is why I've not said a lot up until now. It's just that I couldn't imagine doing that to my son.

You seem like a nice bloke and I reckon you'll feel the same when you're faced with your own child to discipline.

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Originally Posted by DarthInsinuate

my dad used a bamboo cane to hit me, but never on the head or torso - i would definately draw the line of 'hitting' at anything more than a red mark

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I once had it break on my arse :01:

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Originally Posted by manker

That's barbaric.

Rise above that. A 'clip around the ear' or a 'tap on the bum' is all you need to do if you can communicate well with your child. Kids are difficult, I suppose, but not so difficult as you need weapons to keep them in line.

Says manker, the dad of an 8 month old - I shouldn't be commenting, really :rolleyes:

There are folk here who know more about this than me, which is why I've not said a lot up until now. It's just that I couldn't imagine doing that to my son.

You seem like a nice bloke and I reckon you'll feel the same when you're faced with your own child to discipline.

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I can see from your point of view how it is barbaric, but it was the way i was raised, and i don't know any other method - imagining hitting my future son is a pretty painful thought, but then i think of what would happen if i can't get him to behave, an equally painful thought

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Originally Posted by DanB

I once had it break on my arse :01:

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as Jackie Chan said in Rush Hour 2: "Chinese bamboo, is very strong"

I don't like that type of punishment and would never use it on kids.

In a few extreme cases, yes. But for the most part, no.

no but if they hit me first than yes :D

Children, like any other intelligent animal on this planet learn by example "hitting someone gets you your way" even if you think it's for their own good, "you got your way, using physical contact".
The only thing that gets us by, as infants, is our ability to read body language, Think about it...there isn't any other form of communication but body launguage...
Take some time and read some material on body language, you would be surprised at what you can accomplish using it...even as adults we respond unconsciously to several forms of body launguage....you can manipulate the strongest willed person using the right approach.

It's funny how many ppl won't hit a little puppy, but they will smack their child. if you take a newspaper and smack your hand next to the puppies face and use a stern voice, that will always do the job.

btw... I had to smack my child 5 times on the bare butt at age 4. He brought home a toy from daycare that wasn't his, I gave him the option...5 smacks on the bare butt or I take one of his best toys.... jeez that was the hardest thing I have ever done..."he decided to take the smacks on the butt, dropped his little pants and crawled up on my lap"

haven't had to punish him ever since...

My father would tell me, when I screwed up, "tomorrow night, when I get home, you are going to be punished" that alone was enough usually..the waiting all day, and the next for his punishment

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Originally Posted by whiterook-2

btw... I had to smack my child 5 times on the bare butt at age 4. He brought home a toy from daycare that wasn't his, I gave him the option...5 smacks on the bare butt or I take one of his best toys.... jeez that was the hardest thing I have ever done..."he decided to take the smacks on the butt, dropped his little pants and crawled up on my lap"

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Knowing me, I'd have taken the toys away only.

Ironic.

No and thats that. just take there sweets away and toys

Hit a kid no hit a adult no both are wrong.

thing is, he's now 14 yrs old and believe it or not, that was the only time I've ever had to punish him. I couldn't have scripted a better child. 9th grade accelerated Math, English, with straight A's in all his classes. I've had to pay $50 bucks every time the report cards come out too lol (made a deal for $50 all A's). Ok, i'm finished, but concidering my background as a child/young adult hellion, I'm pretty pround of that boy!

Does a stun gun count? :shifty:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Does a stun gun count? :shifty:

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:ermm: no words can describe your evil

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Originally Posted by ziggyjuarez

:ermm: no words can describe your evil

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:shifty: True - but zzzzzzztt! is good.

Assaulting them is not the answer. Just tell them that they will not get out of the cage if they dont behave.:ph34r:


In my opinion it is all about trust. If your children trust you then they will do as you ask.:) It is also easier when you are teaching them to swim.:lol: :lol:

children should be hit as a form of entertainment too

I think a lot depends on the child and the child's age. I think it should be used sparingly, as a last resort, and then with the hand on the bottom only.

I always felt like I had failed somehow more than the child the few times I had to do this.

I once witnessed a man (who was using crutches to walk) beat his son with his crutch in a department store parking lot. I reported him, and would do it again.

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Originally Posted by Everose

I think a lot depends on the child and the child's age. I think it should be used sparingly, as a last resort, and then with the hand on the bottom only.

I always felt like I had failed somehow more than the child the few times I had to do this.

I once witnessed a man (who was using crutches to walk) beat his son with his crutch in a department store parking lot. I reported him, and would do it again.

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snitch (that's the closest word) :lol:

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

I haven't voted in the poll - there needs to be a better definition of "hit".

I would never, under any circumstances "hit" my child.

I would and have spanked them, generally when they are doing something that jeopardizes their safety, and only after other forms of punishment, such as standing in the corner or taking a time out have failed. It hasn't happened often.

That said, I wouldn't use anything other than my open hand to spank them.

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ditto, ditto, ditto.....a belt is ok eh? Thats' what I got and Im ok. The belt taught me not to screw up. When I was little, I would think about that belt before doing things I wasnt supposed to do. That was the purpose, it worked.

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Originally Posted by Busyman

snitch (that's the closest word) :lol:

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Hey now. It is not easy being a .... snitch. :D I interferred as the cops were on their way and barely missed getting hit by the crutch myself. At least the child was released while the Dad took his fury out on me. :P

Small children that really cannot understand the meaning of the word "danger" should be swatted on the bum hard enough to cause negative re-enforcement for the act.

Older children, who understand the meaning should NOT be hit, that is simply bad parenting.

My parents never hit me and never needed to. They treated me like a terrorist. No negociation, no compromise. All threats were followed through. They used the psychological game that "we are not mad at you, just disappointed". So if I acted up in a store, I would feel ashamed for letting down the family. I would then be taken home and confined to my room, then I had to explain what I had done wrong and apologise.

All those kids acting up in stores are the product of poor parenting past the age of 3 or 4. By that time your Mother should have "the look" which lets your know that you are about to cross the line.

Hitting kids at this age does no good. Once they can understand the meaning of the words, taking away privledges is the answer.

Eventually the kid will grow too big for spanking and so what do you do then? You need to use a tool of correction that is independent of the size or age of a child.

As to the original poster, hitting children in school is absolutely out of bounds. You are absolutely right, it will make children resent authority figures. Plus, many of those nuns are crazy and rapping fingers is how they get their jollies. It should not be an option.

If a kid falls asleep in class, the teacher should get that student a cup of coffee, heavy on the cream and sugar. Now, bitch! :1eye: