yesterday i was taking the dog for a walk.
we'd just got to the top of the hill when i saw an old lady having a fight with a foulmouthed young man wearing a bandana. when i went closer i saw he was a wanted criminal and was actually mugging her. i uppercutted him into a tree where luckily for him he was out of reach of me.
unfortunately for me he had his mobile and phoned his homies, after about 15 seconds they got off the train. there were 14 of them in total, introduced themselves as JR and the lucky thirteen (JR was up the tree).
so then i had to do some crazy bullet time stuff and fight them, luckily the old lady could fight too. anyway i gave the cat orders to scratch strips of bark from a nearby tree which i used to tie up the stunned gangstas
after spending 3 months under a witness protection scheme the mayor thought i was hard enough to handle myself and come back to town. he gave me a george cross in a ceremony last saturday.
you aren't allowed to tell anybody about this though
