Tax Return Advice

Ok so I forgot all about it since I been employed the last year, but I still had to do it for 2003-04.
So anyway, having forgotten all about it they just sent me a fine of £100 :frusty:

It says on the letter reasons for not getting it in on time, one of them is if it was lost in the post, now trouble is.......I have actually lost the returns form :1eye:

So, now I gotta phone em up to get a new one,, do you think I should say I sent it months ago and deny all knowledge of anything else?
Or should I tell the truth?
Or should I lie thru my teeth and make up a fantastical story about aliens?

Jonno :cool:

Use the aliens story.

They won't believe anything you say anyway, if the UK Revenue is anything like the french. :angry:

Ok so what angle tho?

That I was abducted by aliens or should I go for the real mind fuck and tell them THEY were abducted by aliens and had their memories wiped? :unsure:

Jonno :cool:

You gotta stay with the classics.
You were lost on a small back-country road and you got abducted.
Tell them you were "probed" and that you believe you know where the forms are now.
Then offer them to look for the forms themselves... :whistling:




Or ask manker what he'll do. He's an accountant or some other form of depraved number-loving person...

Good idea.........

Hey Manker!!.....What happend when you were abducted by aliens? :unsure:

Hang on....I could go with the "My dog ate it" line, that might work if I go buy a dog quick :01:

Jonno :cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

Hey Manker!!.....What happend when you were abducted by aliens? :unsure:

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:frusty: You got it wrong! Manker is an alien!

Tax?:unsure:

@Guil..... Nah......really? I thought he was just welsh :blink:

@Cheese..... yeah don't worry about it dude, as a student you wont have to worry for quite a while :P

Jonno :cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

Ok so what angle tho?

That I was abducted by aliens or should I go for the real mind fuck and tell them THEY were abducted by aliens and had their memories wiped? :unsure:

Jonno :cool:

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No I dont think they would believe it could happen twice to the same person. :whistling

send them a letter explaining that all the work you did was cash in hand so you don't have to pay tax

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

Ok so I forgot all about it since I been employed the last year, but I still had to do it for 2003-04.
So anyway, having forgotten all about it they just sent me a fine of £100 :frusty:

It says on the letter reasons for not getting it in on time, one of them is if it was lost in the post, now trouble is.......I have actually lost the returns form :1eye:

So, now I gotta phone em up to get a new one,, do you think I should say I sent it months ago and deny all knowledge of anything else?
Or should I tell the truth?
Or should I lie thru my teeth and make up a fantastical story about aliens?

Jonno :cool:

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You need to file the return, excuses won't work. Don't worry tho' as it's likely you've paid the correct amount of tax - this means that they will rescind the £100 penalty as they are not allowed to fine people for a late return if there is no tax liability.

Get the tax form - ask them to send you one.

If all you've done is employed work then filling it in is easy. Look at the P60 you got in May 2004 and use the total pay figure and the total tax figure. Put the total pay in box #1.8 and the total tax figure in box #1.10 of the employment section of the tax return (the 2 pages with pink headers at the back)

Sign and date it and hand it in.

If you had more than one job repeat the process above with the total pay and tax figures of your other P60s or P45s.



Lastly, that'll be £175.00. Cheers.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

You need to file the return, excuses won't work. Don't worry tho' as it's likely you've paid the correct amount of tax - this means that they will rescind the £100 penalty as they are not allowed to fine people for a late return if there is no tax liability.

Get the tax form - ask them to send you one.

If all you've done is employed work then filling it in is easy. Look at the P60 you got in May 2004 and use the total pay figure and the total tax figure. Put the total pay in box #1.8 and the total tax figure in box #1.10 of the employment section of the tax return (the 2 pages with pink headers at the back)

Sign and date it and hand it in.

If you had more than one job repeat the process above with the total pay and tax figures of your other P60s or P45s.



Lastly, that'll be £175.00. Cheers.

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Why do they make tax so, taxing :dry:

Depriving the Inland Revenue of revenue makes me hawt :shifty:

if torrentspy was working i would find some porn of women doing their taxes, accountancy is hawt

@ Manker..... Yeah I read the thing about no fee if your tax is under the amount fined.
But this is'nt for employee work, this is for the year ending 2004, I was self employed then. I kinda got muddled up cos working a year behind with the tax man.

@Vidcc........ :lol: :lol: But thats true :unsure:

Jonno :cool:

Oh right, so you were self employed that year - in that case it's more complicated.

Were you on CIS25s or did you get paid gross, if it's the former you're okay so long as you kept the vouchers, if it's the latter you probably owe quite a bit of tax :(

no I was paid when the job was complete, I just have to tell them what I earnt and what I paid out, but the tax bill will be fuck all cos I hardly earnt anything and my bank records will back that up so I should be ok.
Just not sure about this fine :dry:

oh btw, I did'nt say thank you fo info, so Thank you dude :)

Jonno :cool:

Seems like you were paid gross - try to keep the gap between what you earned in the year and what you paid out under £4500. Then there will be no tax and no fine.

But bear in mind that they may disallow some of the expenses you claim for, so be a bit careful. If you want to PM me just before you submit anything to them, it's nps.

I know, it's £4,800 I think tax free, then 10% on the next £1800, then 22% everything else after that until you hit about £35000.

Also I not putting any expendature down cos I don't got any :lol:

I'll put down about £5,200, keeps em happy cos I paid a little :lol:

Jonno :cool:

I told you he is an alien. :dry:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

I know, it's £4,800 I think tax free, then 10% on the next £1800, then 22% everything else after that until you hit about £35000.

Also I not putting any expendature down cos I don't got any :lol:

I'll put down about £5,200, keeps em happy cos I paid a little :lol:

Jonno :cool:

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What are you jonno a paperboy....?? :lol: :lol:

This month, I've been taxed an extra £110.
Both jobs are listed as a BR.

As you can imagine, I'm slightly fecked off about this and feel the need to take a taxman hostage and burn his money grabbing fingers with my green clipper. :dry:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by enoughfakefiles

What are you jonno a paperboy....?? :lol: :lol:

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No I was a self employed builder who's business went down the pan.

@lilmiss..........an EXTRA £110 this month? jesus :(
I would use a zippo, you can hold him with both hands then :dry:

Jonno :cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

I would use a zippo, you can hold him with both hands then

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:blink: Would I need to hold the zippo with my toes then?
Maybe I should just crack him over the head with my stick a few times. :shifty: