A Canadian Apology

I'm not really sure where to put this, so if you mods find that it's not suited for the lounge, feel free to move it. ;)

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On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our lumber dispute. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've repainted it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.

We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

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And, thusly I don a flame-retardant suit. ;)

:ninja:

Why would Canadas' opinion on anything matter?

You would be a US state if you had any value.

Sorry but you guys have no influence over anything.

When I think of Canada, I think of nothing.

Americans neither love nor hate you, we give you the grandest complement of indifference.

Did Hitler surrender to Canadians, or did the US liberate France and help to defeat Hitler. Gosh, we helped Quebecs homeland and won the war too.

I really want to say this: I grew up in America, I see Canada as our peaceful neighbor to the North. I like you guys, I have visited your beautiful country, and I don't understand why you think we disrespect you.

It probably comes from border states. Missouri hates Kansas, Missouri pretends to hate Illinois. These are our borders and these are just friendly rivalries. It is just for fun.

We in the US like our Canadian neighbors, period.

i love it!! :lol:

me too! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Canada doesn't suck, and it isn't feckless or irrelevant either-SO THERE!

Ah, I love This Hour Has 22 Minutes. :D I think my favourite spot on it was "Talking to Americans."

Of course, Rick Mercer's hour special of that was most excellent.

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Texas Governor George W. Bush: I'm glad to have the support of Prime Minister Jean 'Poutine.'

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I hope he has the name right now. ;)

:ninja:

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Originally posted by j2k4@5 April 2003 - 19:56
Canada doesn't suck, and it isn't feckless or irrelevant either-SO THERE!

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umm this is showing how arrogant the U.S. is and how seemingly intelligent Canada is..

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Originally posted by MagicNakor@5 April 2003 - 23:49
Ah, I love This Hour Has 22 Minutes. :D I think my favourite spot on it was "Talking to Americans."

Of course, Rick Mercer's hour special of that was most excellent.

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Texas Governor George W. Bush: I'm glad to have the support of Prime Minister Jean 'Poutine.'

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I hope he has the name right now. ;)

:ninja:

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yes, but out of how many people they interviewed, that is how many they used. how many people do u think they interviewed? tons.
actually the bush and gore bits were quite amusing, but they were not paying attention and really didnt care much. the real funny parts were with the governer of alabama when he said straight to the camera "congrats on your new 24 hour clock!". :lol: :lol: :lol:

All of you (USA-lovers too) should read Stupid White Men by Michael Moore.

It points out just what's wrong with America today and is very funny too.

Dear Canadians;

Your apology is accepted! We are already used to you!

Sincerely,

USA :)

I love it...

I'm not in any way anti-American, in fact I love the US, visit often and have many, many friends there. But you have to love Canadian humour. Royal Canadian AirFarce is also a great one.

Good Canadian/American story:

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An American aircraft carrier was cruising up the East Coast of Northern America with a large accompanying fleet.

In the bridge of the carrier, the radar operator noticed a blip on his screen directly ahead of the fleet.

He signalled this to the comms officer, who opened a radio channel and requested that they change course 10 degrees north to avoid collision with the fleet.

The blip was a Canadian, who responded "Sorry, US fleet, we must request that you change course 10 degrees south in order to avoid collision."

The Americans roared with laughter. The comms officer responded "Sorry, Canadian vessel, we must request that you alter your course to avoid collision."

The Canadians replied, "Sorry, US fleet, we must request that you change course 10 degrees south in order to avoid collision."

The comms officer then informed the ship's commander that some Canadians were "getting cocky". The commander then spoke to the Canadians himself:
"Now listen here, punk. This is one of the most heavily armed aircraft carriers on the planet. I have a huge supporting fleet as well as dozens of fighters and bombers on board. Now you are going to move out of our way, OK?"

The Canadians replied, "Sorry, sir, we really must request that you change course 10 degrees south in order to avoid collision."

The Americans went apopleptic and  :flame: ed at them for some time.

The Canadians then replied: "We're a lighthouse. Your call."

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This is a true story, told to me by retired Captain PJD Moriarity of the Royal Navy.

So how did they move the lighthouse?

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Originally posted by Lamsey@6 April 2003 - 18:51
All of you (USA-lovers too) should read Stupid White Men by Michael Moore.

It points out just what's wrong with America today and is very funny too.

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WeeMouse pointed this out the other day-I will expand on my response.

Michael Moore has nothing to offer of any consequence, he writes to provoke reactions. His first attempt at comedy, entitled "Roger and Me" (what it's about is, believe me, of no import) attracted the attention of some stupid people who knew many other stupid people. They, in turn, deified Mr. Moore (who is himself a stupid person), and convinced him (it wasn't difficult) that he could be the leader of the stupid people if he would write more tripe. This he consented to do. He has enjoyed modest success as a provacateur, and is so enamored of himself he has several more books in the hopper, among them:
"I'm Stupid-You're Stupid"

"Ego and Stupidity: Managing Your Assets"

"Stupidity and Logic-A User's Guide"

Ah, Lamsey-WeeMouse........don't be fooled, smell the B.S., don't eat it.

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Ah, Lamsey-WeeMouse........don't be fooled, smell the B.S., don't eat it.

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I'm guessing that
1) you're American
2) you like having a non-elected President
3) you are happy living in one of the most unfair societies in the world
4) you need to follow your own advice

Every fact in Michael Moore's book is backed up by evidence (check the bibliography) - and some of the facts in the story are too important to ignore.

Instead of just calling him stupid, come up with a better argument please.
The most powerful man in the world is verystupid, but that never stopped him.

believe me i was pissed when bush was declared the winer of that election but i wil agree with the way hes handled our biz since 9-11 " blow up our shit well blow up yours" :devil:

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Originally posted by Lamsey@6 April 2003 - 22:08

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Ah, Lamsey-WeeMouse........don't be fooled, smell the B.S., don't eat it.

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I'm guessing that
1) you're American
2) you like having a non-elected President
3) you are happy living in one of the most unfair societies in the world
4) you need to follow your own advice

Every fact in Michael Moore's book is backed up by evidence (check the bibliography) - and some of the facts in the story are too important to ignore.

Instead of just calling him stupid, come up with a better argument please.
The most powerful man in the world is verystupid, but that never stopped him.

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I might agree with you as much as %70; If you can believe that.
I am just confused about point 3. I think you might be stretching it
a little. By that I mean, it is ridiculous to say that America is one of
the most unfair societies in the world.

Why is it then that a lot of people want to come to this 'so called unfair
society'?

Maybe you can elaborate.
I'm dying to know? :blink:

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Originally posted by Lamsey@6 April 2003 - 22:08

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Ah, Lamsey-WeeMouse........don't be fooled, smell the B.S., don't eat it.

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I'm guessing that
1) you're American
2) you like having a non-elected President
3) you are happy living in one of the most unfair societies in the world
4) you need to follow your own advice

Every fact in Michael Moore's book is backed up by evidence (check the bibliography) - and some of the facts in the story are too important to ignore.

Instead of just calling him stupid, come up with a better argument please.
The most powerful man in the world is verystupid, but that never stopped him.

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1) I am an American.

2) Wrong; he was elected. If, like many others, you believe he was "given" the Presidency by the Supreme Court, you would be in error. A little history:
After the Court made it's decision, the vote count did indeed go on, though not under official auspices: it was conducted by a flock of pro-Gore liberal groups who believed that they could somehow retroactively affect the election results, or at the least cast doubt on the court's decision. About 8 months later, they announced (in a wee, small, page 20-type voice) they had finished the count, and Dubya DID win, even expanding his lead.
So, to all who read this, drop the "Bush cheated to win" bullshit-it doesn't wash, and don't ask for a link, either. If, at this late date, you haven't availed yourself of the facts in a timely fashion, don't expect me to make it easy for you by providing a "link".

3) I am fortunate enough to live in the FAIREST society in the world. I would happily disabuse you of any proof you think you have to the contrary.

4) I LIVE my advice.

A bibliography is easy to assemble if you choose to rely on the same kind of crap you're writing; there is no shortage of wrong-headedness in print over here-it's one of the "benefits" of a FAIR society.
If you want to rely on Mr. Moore's fact-checking, feel free. He probably commissioned a "custom" bibliography after he wrote the book.

If you want to blast Bush, thats fine. I'm sure it won't bother him; he believes in free speech.

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" blow up our shit well blow up yours"

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There are a lot of people who disagree with that ideology...

@ j2k4: I think we will have to agree to disagree on this - I guess the truth depends on who you want to believe.

@ ClubDiggler: read the book. You might also want to ask j2k4 about it to get the other point of view. It probably pays to know both sides of the argument.

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Originally posted by Lamsey@7 April 2003 - 16:00
It probably pays to know both sides of the argument.

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Yes, it does. Not even probably.
It is difficult (always) to entertain facts sans pre-conceptions-takes LOTS of practice. I find it helpful to be older and wiser. :D :D :D

I wasn't always.

listen guys, I'm just an outsider looking at America over a big pond...HOWEVER ...

With the facts, you can see that George W isn't exactly the most wonderful and charismatic leader that ever lived and it's more than likely he rigged the election somehow...

but the way i see it is just because I'm not too fond of America's leader doesn't mean i don't like Americans - you guys are great!!! Any American tourists that I've met are always lovely and think my accent's cute :D

But you really should have had Scottish, English and even French soldiers too in "Saving Private Ryan" - It was made to look like USA was the only nation fighting in WW2! :P :lol:

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Originally posted by WeeMouse@7 April 2003 - 17:04
With the facts, you can see that George W isn't exactly the most wonderful and charismatic leader that ever lived and it's more than likely he rigged the election somehow...

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AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHH!!!!!!
I give up, WeeMouse.

Thank you for your other kind comments.

Re: "Saving Private Ryan": The movie was fairly tightly scripted-i.e., didn't allow for much that wasn't included already, but I think other nation's presences could have been noted somehow.
I suggest you take it up with Mr. Speilberg, a famous liberal, who, truth be told, should have known enough to do this on his own.

By the way-isn't this thread titled "A Canadian Apology"?

Haven't seen/heard one yet.

You may start now :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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I suggest you take it up with Mr. Speilberg

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Noted and will be done! :P

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AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHH!!!!!!
I give up, WeeMouse.

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Jeez man you sound like my Accounts and Finance teacher!!! :D

We looked into this in Modern Studies; USA topic (that was in between Affirmative Action and Pat Buchanan and explaining the distribution of ethnic minorities in the USA...)
I was merely commenting that the facts point to an election rig...but i have been known to be wrong... :-"

Just my POV. Anyway i can't really talk about good leaders - I've got Mr Anthony Blair as mine...

I think I'll vote for Liberal Democrats in the next General Election!
:beerchug:

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Originally posted by WeeMouse@7 April 2003 - 17:51
I think I'll vote for Liberal Democrats in the next General Election!
:beerchug:

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If you don't mend your ways I'll be forced to relieve you of your Pecksniffian crassitude! :D :lol:

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Pecksniffian crassitude

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:blink:

Is that a bad thing?

it sounds painful...

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Originally posted by j2k4+7 April 2003 - 16:57--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (j2k4 @ 7 April 2003 - 16:57)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--WeeMouse@7 April 2003 - 17:51
I think I&#39;ll vote for Liberal Democrats in the next General Election&#33;
:beerchug:

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If you don&#39;t mend your ways I&#39;ll be forced to relieve you of your Pecksniffian crassitude&#33; :D :lol: [/b][/quote]
Bit Ostentatious...... (and i know thats probably spelt wrong :P )


Wee Mouse, Ive been thinking about voting for the LibDems for a while now...the last 18 months have just made it positive i will.........and thats hard for a life long Trade Unionist to say.. :(

What does all this have to do with &#39;A Canadian Apology&#39;?

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Originally posted by Somebody1234@7 April 2003 - 18:58
What does all this have to do with &#39;A Canadian Apology&#39;?

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I dont think the Canadians have anything to apologise for......do they?


o:) :-"

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Originally posted by Rat Faced+7 April 2003 - 20:18--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Rat Faced @ 7 April 2003 - 20:18)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--Somebody1234@7 April 2003 - 18:58
What does all this have to do with &#39;A Canadian Apology&#39;?

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I dont think the Canadians have anything to apologise for......do they?


o:) :-"[/b][/quote]




Yeah...They Have to apolgise for thier cigarettes because they suck&#33;&#33;&#33; :blink:

Well, the apology is the first post on this thread. ;)

:ninja:

Being a US citizen with "landed immigrant" status in Canada makes this thread rather difficult for me...
I&#39;ll just apologize to myself.

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Originally posted by clocker@8 April 2003 - 01:49
Being a US citizen with "landed immigrant" status in Canada makes this thread rather difficult for me...
I&#39;ll just apologize to myself.

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Does it feel just as good, Clocker? You can custom-tailor the apology; if I were you, I&#39;d throw in a free lap-dance. :D :D

If I do should I tip myself in US or Canadian dollars?

wat about me, who do i apologise to?

well since i&#39;m perfect i don&#39;t need to apolojise eh?

what is this aboot anyhow eh?

hehe, i&#39;m making fun of myself kind of&#33; :w00t:

I think that j2k4 owes everybody, both American and Canadian, an apology for using the term "Pecksniffian crassitude" in this Forum.

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Originally posted by clocker@8 April 2003 - 05:25
I think that j2k4 owes everybody, both American and Canadian, an apology for using the term "Pecksniffian crassitude" in this Forum.

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I apologize most humbly for my thoughtless use of polysyllabic verbiage.

Clocker-U.S. dollars, of course. Just stick &#39;em in that thong thing. :lol:

"Polysylabbic verbiage"?
Now you owe us ANOTHER apology&#33;

Bye the bye... I don&#39;t know where YOU get lap dances, but there ain&#39;t no thong things involved...


Okay you got me, I misspelled "polysyllabic".
Sue me.

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Originally posted by clocker@8 April 2003 - 05:39
"Polysylabbic verbiage"?
Now you owe us ANOTHER apology&#33;

Bye the bye... I don&#39;t know where YOU get lap dances, but there ain&#39;t no thong things involved...


Okay you got me, I misspelled "polysyllabic".
Sue me.

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No bare snatches allowed in my area, so it&#39;s the thong, ar nothing at all.......
?
Once again, I apologize for regaling my fellow forum members with my confections of consonant consonance.

There you go again and you were doing so well.
Your replies in the Miss Scotland thread were all of managable size. (By the way, I guess "spork" would cover it...)
Must you be such a grandstander?
I must admit tho, "confections of consonant consonance" does have a nice rythym to it...really rolls off the tongue.