What is the f*cking point?

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

every new day can have a sparkle that light the life in you again...
every new day you have a chance to get things sorted
every new day is a day for new chances
every new day .......

Take care of yourself Nikki...... :( :)

The point is to survive.

Life will continue to throw shit at you, whether it be through other people or just events.
As human beings we have to stay strong enough to stand upto whatever is thrown at us.
You've stood up through a lot of shit many people would have given up because of, and as I've said you ARE strong enough to come through anything.
There is light at the end of the tunnel Nik :)

Sometimes life is a deep, Black Hole
and all you can do is give up.
But, in giving up, what are you accomplishing?
The Black Hole is then sucking you up.

Life is tough and life is hard,
sometimes harder for others.
You think that it will never end,
and that in turn makes it harder.

If we take one day at a time, Sad face crying
and refuse to let go,
life will ease up
...and I know you wanna say "no."

You wanna say "no, I can’t handle it anymore."
Then, it is time to reach out.
Reach out and have someone help you.
Don’t be ashamed,
it is not your fault.
You should not be blamed.

People will help you make life less of a burden.Tunnel with Light at end
But first, you must find your own happiness.
It may take months and it may take years.
It will also take bad days filled with tears.
But, if you tell yourself there is light at the end,
and let yourself mend,
The Black Hole will die,
and...you will be happy you didn’t.

Jon :wub:

Making a difference.


If you don't make a difference there is no point. If what you say or do inspires someone else, then you are worthwhile.


We are just dust in the wind, but the difference we can make can last forever.

:cool:

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Originally Posted by barbarossa

If you don't make a difference there is no point. If what you say or do inspires someone else, then you are worthwhile.

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She does make a difference and she does inspire :)
Ask around, there's a lot of people round who will say the same :)

Jonno :cool:

you can do what i, before you go to sleep think of ways you could die before you wake, that usually cheers me up

:( Tough call, not much any of us can say Nikki. I hope the venting at least helps a lil, maybe looking at it in text will help you make the final push and start getting your life back.

At least getting yourself back on track towards getting your life sorted is a good expample for your kids to follow.

:frusty: I'm probly not making a lot of sense, but I am sorry for ya Nikki and hope it works out for the best....... whatever that may be. We don't know till we give it a go.

:mushy: Can be a bit bloody hit and miss...... this life thing.

vent nikki go fo a walk to clear head and come back and see if there anything that can be change at the moment not in the future and remember put your felling first before someone else cuz u cant make anyone happy but yourself ;)

You will find your path, Nikki.

Simply because you deserve it.

The point, dearheart, is that every day you make it through- you won.
Maybe not a grand victory, but we take what we can.

Not much more I can say... I just hope things go better for you Nikki.

http://homepage3.nifty.com/sweeper/gun/m_gun/m60.jpg

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

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Jeezuz what a nightmare - It felt as if you were talking about me - suddenly I feel like such an asshole. Thanks for the lecture - woke me up.

Dont marry. Dont reproduce. :cool:

i think your advice comes is bit too late for Nikki

It always looks blackest at the bottom of the well,don't let the f*cker grind ya down,things will get better :console:

I COULD BUY MYSELF A REASON
I COULD SELL MYSELF A JOB
I COULD HANG MYSELF FOR TREASON
I AM MY OWN DAMN GOD
AHAHAHAAAAHAAHAAHA!

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

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Love is not everything.

Basic survival is first.
If someone is shit you must train yourself to kick them to the curb without a blink.

If they want to spend time with you it will be spent on your terms to a degree which doesn't harm you.

I learned that very early (my late teens). It pains me when I see the same young females hurt over and over.

If it ain't working, change how it works.

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

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Keep listening to yourself, NikkiD. The important things cannot be taken away from you, unless you allow it.

What is worse than feeling the way you are feeling now? Changing nothing and feeling the same way in 10 years.

I'm pulling for you.

Nikki you are suffering from female blind spot 101:

"He'll change, I can change him, if I am nice he will realize that he loves me"

Men do not disrespect or abuse someone out of ignorance. There is no certificate, event or act that will change the way they are intentionally acting.

When I was a younger man, I was in that role. Some girl thought I was cute, then created, out of her own little mind some ideal about who I was. She kept trying to squeeze the reality of me into her ideal and just never figured out that she was a convenient screw.

After awhile I sent her away because it was becoming painful to her. She kept trying to cling for years. Cling to a persona she made up, a person that didn't exist.

Her core problem was that she felt inadequate about herself and without a boyfriend or relationship felt like a failure to the world.

You are number 1. A relationship is about friendship and support, and should be a team game. He should want to help you.

You identified your problem quite clearly, and then you started to waffle. It is so easy for us men to turn on the "charm switch", if you have something we want, but it doesn't last.

Clean, hard absolute break.

When I was a baby, my natural father was abusive one time to my mother. She said, "That is not how people treat one another. I am leaving, I am taking the baby and I don't want your alimony".

I grew up never seeing my father, but it that is of no concern to me. It took me until I was grown to realize the courage and self-esteem my mother exhibited. When she remarried years later, she hooked herself a man I am very proud to call my Father (not step-father).

Bottom line, whether it is emotional or physical abuse, or just simply apathy, that is not going to change, and you must move forward on your own and never look back. Didn't you post a similar rant awhile back? No change, different year.

We men can be wolves in sheeps clothing, we can be so very charming as we know what switches to throw, but you have to be confident enough in yourself to ignore them.

Get busy living, or get busy dying. That's God damn right.

I am so sorry that you are going through more pain after all you have been through one way and another.

I hope that you can find the strength to get him out of your life and get on with doing what makes you and your kids happy.

Listen to your own advice...you are usually spot on.

Good luck.

Stay strong, Nikki. :01:

Get shot of the eejit while you are still young enough to rebuild your life.
G'lucks.

Thanks guys.

Just a really bad few days. I'll get through it, I know I will, just seems pretty bleak right now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Everose

Keep listening to yourself, NikkiD. The important things cannot be taken away from you, unless you allow it.

What is worse than feeling the way you are feeling now? Changing nothing and feeling the same way in 10 years.

I'm pulling for you.

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:) You've summed it up perfectly, that was exactly my thinking a couple of years ago and once I'd done the deed I felt like the biggest weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Also, once we'd had the 'discussion' we shared a house for almost a year and were better friends than ever. Nobody could believe that'd we'd broken up yet were closer than ever:lol:

:unsure: Course this could be unusual.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NikkiD

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

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There is no point.

The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.

It is said the most successful relationships are those where both parties have the slightly guilty feeling that they got the best deal.

Clearly, Nikki, you do not feel you got best deal. Things always seem worse when you are really down but the runes are not great on this one. Only you know what you really want but I suspect it is more than this.

The kids are the point Nikki, sometimes the only point.

What ever huge f*cking mistakes we make, they are the true and constant thing that pulls us through the bad times when it all seems too hard and not worth the struggle. There isn't a choice, you have to go on and make the best of whatever situation for them. I think once you have kids you give up the right to put yourself and personal happiness first. Snatch your bits of happiness where you can.

Put one foot in front of the other and plough on regardless doing what you have to do. Sooner or later you start to notice the sun shining again, and working to make your kids happy will bring happiness back to you. Tenfold.

We are lucky really in that we have places like this to go to, and people to talk to who care, and who make us laugh.

I hope it all gets easier for you soon. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

It is said the most successful relationships are those where both parties have the slightly guilty feeling that they got the best deal.

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I like that quote...(ya old fella, drop-in poster, veteran).

It has much profundity. :)

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Originally Posted by AussieSheila

I think once you have kids you give up the right to put yourself and personal happiness first.

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wow im fuckin shocked to see a women right that! :ohmy:

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Originally Posted by bujub22

wow im fuckin shocked to see a women right that! :ohmy:

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It's very true.

I hate when I see a nice looking woman fall over a piece-o- :shit:
(Nikki is rather attractive).

They can pretty much pick what they want and they pick :shit: .

All they have to do is go by the book.

ive seen nikkid :naughty:

but yeah i hate that shit too but the 1 thing i hate more is when they know they should stay away from them or break up with them and they go right back in the same situation or worse cuz fo w/e reason

you want I should take a road trip up there and break his legs Nik? :devil:
just gimme a time when you & the kids are gone.... :shifty:
ok, so...that won't solve anything...but it could be fun :D

nah, but seriously....
I wish I could offer some kind of condolence or advice,
as I hate seeing good people go through bad times,
but I suck with words most times, and I really suck at relationships :(
to me it doesnt seem he is deserving of such commitment from you
hard for me to say anything beyond that :(
I cant even think of someting stupid or corny enough to make you laugh,
that always seemed to help me through troubled times,
simple laughter, something to smile about, more often than not sets my mind at ease
I wish I could at least give you that :frusty:

so...can I at least break his legs? :D

You know what you need to do.

You know when you need to do it.

You know you have people who are on your side.

Good luck and God bless.

Dump the dude.

Good luck.

I woke up the other day last week I tryed to drink myself to death and slept in a park. (yes im a depressed looser) but then someone hit me and I thought to myself as bad as this shit hole life and world is Im here and there is nothing this world and life can do about it!!! so you do what you can only do and you know whats right

MY advice of life is

Don;'t do anything you don't want too do

but when it comes down too it advice is nothing its your descion that matters and only you know the correct one and if it makes you happy me and of course everyone else here is happy

of cause I know some of the feelings you have I don't have kids and am younger then you

You have heard me say many times how I feel about this sort of thing :lol: I am still in a vien of never trusting a woman again in life.



I was 5 feet from teh edge about to fall think im off that edge now

it is hard to turn away from someone you onced loved (or still do) coz you will always remember the good times and think of it and thats where the problem lies

take care nikki I know you will

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating someone elses thoughts.

I would imagine that when one of your babies puts their arms around you and says "i love you mummy"......... you know what the point is.

Hardship is difficult to endure...... hence its called hardship

Things can turn around quickly Nikki, you are young, you possess certain talents and you have always sounded like a survivor to me. Sorry to hear that you've been having it rough lately but I'm sure that it won't take you long to get back on track :)