paul and sue

My name is, Paul... Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Sue. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessaryfor Sue to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door...

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points...

And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I'm ready, if you know what I mean Age has gotten her so bad that she actually dozes off during lovemaking But that's okay. Her satisfaction in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey...

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting... Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know.....get the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf nap, so rather then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene.

I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sue. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...

Paul

EDITOR'S NOTE: Paul died suddenly Thursday, June 3. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Sue was arrested, but the Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it and she was released on Friday.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After being under the Arctic Circle for 3 months, a sailor gets a 24 hour pass when they reach port. The first place he visits is a bar where he proceeds to get hammered and passes out.
When he wakes up, he realizes he has one hour to make it back to the sub. Desperate for a piece of pussy he asks the bartender where the closest whore house is. The bartender says its only two doors down but there's a long wait, being the only place in town.

The sailor in desperation calls for the madam and begs for special consideration. Since he is still drunk, she asks him to wait and she would see if Tina was awake.

The madam inflates a sex doll and comes down the stairs and tells the sailor that Tina is awake, but is very tired and won't talk or move; but its there if he wants it. The sailor agrees and runs upstairs, undressing as he goes.

A few seconds later a loud scream is heard all over the house and the sailor comes running down the stairs, yelling, "call 911!"

The madam asks about what happened, the sailor replies, “I walked into the room she looked so good I bent over and bit her nipple. The next thing I knew she farted and jumped out the window!”