The 'quote random bits out of the bible like frodobagginsex' game

Posted again cos tessco told me to.

Self-explained.

"Look not upon me, because I am black" :unsure:

vanity,vanity all is vanity

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"For there are eunuchs, that were so born from their mother's womb: and there are eunuchs, that were made eunuchs by men: and there are eunuchs, that made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

Time Out

Which version of The Bible are we quoting from. Or is it any one you want.

Any one you want.

Cheers

"When you come to know yourselves... you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty."

Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren and they all rolled over and one fell out.

Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chalice

Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren and they all rolled over and one fell out.

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:lol::earl:

If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT

Ummm. So God makes a woman marry her rapist? :dry:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CrabGirl

If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT

Ummm. So God makes a woman marry her rapist? :dry:

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Yeah, but 50 pieces of silver. That's well harsh.

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Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Ummm. So God makes a woman marry her rapist? :dry:

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The Old Testament wasn't big on "they lived happily ever after".
Lots of brimstone and begetting though.

Deuteronomy 22:23-24

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

:angry:

Thanks for proving my point.

"And Adam knew his wife; and she conceived."

"And Adam knew his wife again; and she bore a son."

Hella lot of knowing.

Give no woman power over you to trample upon your dignity. (Sirach 9:2)

God is so sexist

Genesis 27:27
So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, "Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed.

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Originally Posted by Snee

"And Adam knew his wife again; and she bore a son."

Hella lot of knowing.

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"For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks"

Typical blokes, like.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Deuteronomy 22:23-24

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

:angry:

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Some religions like the idea

Proverbs 30:2:

"Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the understanding of a man."

2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.


It is important to teach little kids discipline I think :shifty:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Deuteronomy 22:23-24

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

:angry:

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Legos make it all better.

"No man whose private parts have been wounded or cut off may come into the meeting of the Lord’s people."

Just so you know :sly: Hang on to your bits, like.

what if you bring them along in a jar? is that kewl? :unsure:

Dunno, it doesn't say :unsure:

Maybe we should ask one of those biblical types. Where's JP?

and what if they weren't cut off due to forbidden sexytime? what if they were torn off defending a village from a village eating bear?

and exactly why does jebus want our peens intact, what's he got planned for the evening? :sneaky:

and also, what if some chicks getting forced sexytime and you come to her rescue and fight the guy off who then runs away but you trip and fall into the woman accidentally and then people think its you wot did it and then cut your stuff off?

seems like you've rly got to be clued up on your cawk law if you want to get into heaven :unsure:

And what if it's stitched on after? That's what I'd like to know.

what if they stitch it on upside down and you really need to go number 1 cos you've had one too many and then by accident you go number 1 in jebuses face!1 :o

That may well be why they won't let 'em in :unsure:

racists.

you could spend your whole life helping others and doing nothing but good, but if your cawks on upside down its sry you can't come in!1?

"what"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snee

"what"

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It was Muldy having a rare moment of religious enlightenment.

I suspect he will be investing in a cawk protector to ensure salvation. Sexybaggins didn't warn us about this. :ermm:

That was a quote from the bible, misogynist.

Exodus 35:2
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death.


Hey I thought time and a half was pretty cheap but yikes !

http://www.weine.se/images/bilder/or...ast_supper.jpg