Back in the days of the wild west, a small rag-tag, beat-up group of Confederate soldiers were making their way back to their remote outpost, wary of the possibility of running into some unfriendly indians. They came upon a rickety old homestead where an ancient Jewish man was sitting on his creaky old rocker on the porch. The Captain and another officer dismounted from their horses and approached the old geezer.
Captain; " Mornin' old man, have you heard tell of any Apaches in the area ? "
Old Man; " Vell.....I don't know about hhhhhany hhhhapacheez. But I did hhhhear zumpting hhhhhabout a bacon tree hhhhover dat dere hhhhill. "
Captain; " A what ?! "
Old Man; " Yez, I don't zink you should go over dat hhhhill because of de bacon tree. "
Officer; " Come on Captain, he's crazy as a loon...let's just carry on. "
Captain; " Right....thanks anyway old man......( shakes his head ) a bacon tree....right. "
So they climb back on their mounts and head off in the direction of the hill. Just as they start coming down the other side, a huge group of Apaches come screaming and whooping out from behind their cover and a short but savage battle ensues. The soldiers are quickly overwhelmed and the only one to make it out alive is the Captain himself. He's badly wounded however and just barely manages to shuffle back over the hill and down to the old man's house. He pulls himself up as straight as he can to face the old fart and spits blood onto the ground in front of him.
Captain; " Old man.....you are a crazy bastard.... and you cost me the lives of my men...........with your stupid remark about a bacon tree......tell me dammit....why? "
Old Man; " Oy gevalt ! I tink I made a mishtake ! Hhhhang on a minute... "
The old man fishes out an old dog-eared book from his pocket...it's a Yiddish/English translation guide. he flips through the pages and finds the one he's after.
Old Man; " OY VEY ! I am zo zorry for dat mister....it vazn't a bacon tree...............................it vaz a HHHHAM BUSH !
:rolleyes:
