constipation

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."

The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the butt with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the bathroom.

He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?"

The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags!"
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Grandma Zuko, was visiting a nursing home and you know how the lady's like to gossip. She spoke to one old lady who said, "Do you remember when you could go to the grocery store and buy a cucumber about this size and this big?"
The other older lady said, "Do you remember when you could go to the grocery store and buy two onions about this size and this big?"

The third lady said, "I can't hear either of you but I know the man you are talking about."

:lol: I'm not volunteering at nursing homes ever.

my mom did when she was younger, said it was the worst job she ever had lol

changing old peoples diapers...ewwwx10!

there is an old saying
where there's muck there's brass (money)