westinghouse

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.
"What are you doing in there?" she asked.

The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

The lady replied, "Yes."

"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."



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Lawyer: "Mrs. Brighton, I have succeeded in coming to a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you."
Mrs. Brighton: "What the hell is wrong with you? I could have done that myself!"



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A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last requests?"
The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic) could you please do something to scare me?"

lol