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i'm not aware there is any way to do exactly what you want with standard dvd players.
as for computer, there probably is some kind of program that would autorun and decrypt disk on play. but i don't know anything about it :)
i personally use truecrypt. it makes encrypted volumes that you mount to filesystem. that's the approach i would take in your place. not that i would encrypt all of my disks tho :)
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you don't have to store them on hd, you make 4.5 GB truecrypt volume, add dvd content to it and burn that to dvd. on acces you mount encrypted dvd, enter password and use it as normal disk.
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i would do a truecrypt volume/container (with the extension .tc) the size of the dvd and then simply burn it on the disc (as 'data')
edit: i just saw that was already suggested. well it seems the easiest and safest solution to me. although with many dvds, it could take some time :-)
why not wait until you have a bluray drive and then make one big backup (with truecrypt) then?