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A man is walking along the beach when he notices an old oil lamp washed ashore. He picks it up and begins rubbing off the sand when POOF!!! Two genies appear. They tell the man they'll grant him three wishes. But, he doesn't have to say his wishes, he only has to think them. So, the man thinks his first wish and heads home. When he opens the door and walks in, he finds himself waist deep in hundred-dollar bills. Ecstatic that his first wish came true, he thinks his second wish. Then he goes to his bedroom to find his wife has transformed into a gorgeous fashion model. Ecstatic that his second wish came true, he thinks his third wish. But, he's puzzled when a knock comes at his door. When he answers it, two hooded Klansmen grab him, take him to a nearby tree, and lynch him. Both Klansmen take off their hoods -- revealing themselves as the two genies. One says to the other, "I can understand why he wished for wealth. And I can understand why he wished his wife to transform into a gorgeous fashion model. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why anyone would wish to be hung like a black man.
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Bill Clinton goes into a curio shop and finds an old oil lamp. While he's rubbing off the tarnish to get a better look at it, a genie appears. However, the genie says he can only grant him one wish. Clinton thinks hard, then from his suit pocket, he pulls out a map of the Middle East ... showing it to the genie. "OK," Clinton says, "my wish is for permanent peace in the Middle East." The genie shrieks, "Are you crazy!!! I may be a genie but I'm not a miracle worker. Please, please, wish for something easier." Clinton puts the map back in his pocket and thinks hard. Then, he says, "I love my wife very much. But except for the people of New York, nobody seems to like her. I wish that everyone in the country liked my wife." The genie lets out a long sigh, shakes his head and says, "OK, OK, show me that map again."
