LOL and Imma blonde
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
**************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1 out of
every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her
index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your
finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest,
and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the
gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth
straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put
the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I
put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
*****************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on
her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.
So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen. Her roommate, another
blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing? The first blonde told her
how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to
get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh,
like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to
the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it
keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's
amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to
work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied,
"Two popsicles, and some coffee".
