Last one to post wins the internets

We stayed at a Travel Lodge up at Alton Towers. Get you with your Premier Inn... :snooty:

Macky is right - there were warning signs not to shower with the door open because the steam could set the alarms off, so I guess by that logic you would be safe enough vaping in the shower with the door closed :unsure:

We complained about the room though and got a partial refund. A previous guest had doctored the bathroom mirror so that when it steamed up there was a depiction of a massive cawk and bawls displayed on it.

Quite funny really, but pretty hard to explain to a 7 year old :pinch:

I've seen those signs and sucked on my electric fag regardless, nothing happened.
If it did, my plan was to say that I don't own any vaping paraphernalia so their equipment must be faulty.

I don't think hotel staff have the authority to strip search you yet but if we leave the EU they might. So my plan might only be good for not less than 18 months.

Protip: if the alarm goes off from vaping, quickly set fire to the bed to avoid the fine.

First episode of Season 3 of Black Mirror was spot-on superb. Second one... not so much.

Will watch a couple more tonight and let you know how it goes.

Most of these new shows sucks cock meat sandwich

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Barbarossa

First episode of Season 3 of Black Mirror was spot-on superb. Second one... not so much.

Will watch a couple more tonight and let you know how it goes.

---

I have good hopes for that continued series. Excited to see the first episode, which I *may* have already downloaded (hypothetically).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pySjgqKQAGY

http://www.419eater.com/html/booked.htm

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bonetee

Most of these new shows sucks cock meat sandwich

---

They're usually called chicken sandwiches.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

Sounds like you're asking me to lay down and die, Sir! :snooty:

---

Die on your feet, like a real man, or be a total wimp and keep living.

By the way, I wasn't saying you were a douche for wrapping your tender lips around those little e-fags, but rather I was referring to the obnoxiously large, concentrated clouds, which would be more likely to trigger a smoke detector. I appropriated douche as an adjective instead of saying obnoxiously large because I had referenced shower steam. It all fits together perfectly in my mind, you venereal juice gargler.

I'll take the stand that e-cigs are, in fact, douchy. Or at least bring out the douche in those already carrying the gene.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by megabyteme

I'll take the stand that e-cigs are, in fact, douchy. Or at least bring out the douche in those already carrying the gene.

---

I was messing with them for a little while before I left the ex, so by default, I can't say speak ill of the practice. I ordered polyethylene glycol from China and was mixing it with various flavors and levels of nicotine. It was equally unsatisfying with nicotine as it was without, so I eventually gave up on it. The biggest issue I was having is that I couldn't find flavors like charcoal and mesquite BBQ, and I never really felt it in my throat while puffing the same way I'd feel toxic smoke from the real thing. So, I just stuck to rolling my own cigarettes.

I have been keeping the habit in Japan, though I smoke a lot less now because there's no smoking in the apartment.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

http://www.419eater.com/html/booked.htm

---

All the way through I was through I was thinking; 'This dick of a Nigerian is going to get his face cut off because this English twat thinks he's funny'.

Since you brought them up, I'd never read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books up until last year, and was looking forward to doing so.
The first was okay, but shit. I mean it vaguely qualified as an unbad way to pass the time. The other four were shockingly bad. Without doubt the worst series of books I've ever read.

I don't know if they're critically acclaimed, I would imagine so, but everyone I speak to thinks they're fantastic. Even if they haven't read them.
My conclusion, based on my taste alone, is that HGttG is the emperor's new clothes of sci-fi.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

http://www.419eater.com/html/booked.htm

---

All the way through I was through I was thinking; 'This dick of a Nigerian is going to get his face cut off because this English twat thinks he's funny'.

Since you brought them up, I'd never read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books up until last year, and was looking forward to doing so.
The first was okay, but shit. I mean it vaguely qualified as an unbad way to pass the time. The other four were shockingly bad. Without doubt the worst series of books I've ever read.

I don't know if they're critically acclaimed, I would imagine so, but everyone I speak to thinks they're fantastic. Even if they haven't read them.
My conclusion, based on my taste alone, is that HGttG is the emperor's new clothes of sci-fi.

---

Attachment 172740

Attachment 172741

:eyebrows:

Jethuth cwithe, thank fook we scored a try.
It's obviously a bad thing if I stay in for an international, we're getting twatted and Halfpenny can't land a kick.

Been getting a lot of esoteric messages from various gods recently, this time it's loud and clear:
I should be getting mankered with the Babycham each and every time Wales play rugby.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Since you brought them up, I'd never read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books up until last year, and was looking forward to doing so.
The first was okay, but shit. I mean it vaguely qualified as an unbad way to pass the time. The other four were shockingly bad. Without doubt the worst series of books I've ever read.

I don't know if they're critically acclaimed, I would imagine so, but everyone I speak to thinks they're fantastic. Even if they haven't read them.
My conclusion, based on my taste alone, is that HGttG is the emperor's new clothes of sci-fi.

---

Attachment 172740

---

Maybe they go better with apple.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

Attachment 172740

---

Maybe they go better with apple.

---

I've no idea, I've only ever listened to the original (radio) play. The idea of converting that to a novel just seems mental to me.

I didn't know that was what happened.
Well. The converting went poorly. The 'humour' often made me cringe :earl:

I've often wondered why people think reading Shakeapeare's plays is in some way superior to say watching it as a fillum.

It's a play FFS, go and see it performed, and if you can't go and see a good fillum version.

It's what it was written as.

Not that they have all been made it's fillums, but a lot have.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I don't know if they're critically acclaimed, I would imagine so, but everyone I speak to thinks they're fantastic. Even if they haven't read them.
My conclusion, based on my taste alone, is that HGttG is the emperor's new clothes of sci-fi.

---

I guess that means you really don't care for Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency? :)

--> http://filesharingtalk.com/nzbs/tv/x...V-x264-KILLERS

--> http://filesharingtalk.com/nzbs/tv/x...V-x264-KILLERS

Just got home now after 7 hours of traveling :emo: I've been to Colchester zoo. It was the misseses christmas present 2015, an animal experience thing where she got to hand feed a sloth. This was the earliest we could book it lyke as they're apparently popular.

It was pretty shit for me. I hate zoos because I've been dragged to almost all of them. She loved it. She got to go into the sloth cage and shove some leaves in its idiot mouth for 20 minutes whilst I stood on the other side taking pics. She also got a "free" keyring and a £7.50 lunch voucher :smilie4: I had to pay for mine, I had a massive hotdog and a capaccino which came to £89,000000.

All in all, it was an expensive trip to feed a retard monkey. Trains, hotels, food etc. I think this year I'll just get her a new wash cloth or a sock.

In other news, I've been watching Oz. That merkin prison drama from the late 90s. Its great. I watched a few of them as a child but can't remember stuffs. My sky tellybawcks has them all on it, almost finished season 1. No 19 year old spoilers but in the last episode I watched a man knocked another man to the ground, put a bench over him and shat in his mouth. Great stuff.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I didn't know that was what happened.
Well. The converting went poorly. The 'humour' often made me cringe :earl:

---

Sup, hotshot. Sent you an email(s). Did you get them/it?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

I've often wondered why people think reading Shakeapeare's plays is in some way superior to say watching it as a fillum.

It's a play FFS, go and see it performed, and if you can't go and see a good fillum version.

It's what it was written as.

Not that they have all been made it's fillums, but a lot have.

---

My other niece is getting into actism. Doing a BTEC in drama.
She's also working part time in Domino's, which may portend to her future rather more. I tutored her in GCSE maths, she got a D.

They say those that can, do, and those that can't, teach. Well, I can do GCSE maths fairly easily, but fucked if I could teach her how to do it and remember it.
What chance has someone got who can't do GCSE maths, eh. Stupid idiom.

I digress but I've been to see a few plays that she's been in (and a few where I haven't spotted her the entire time).
The Shakespeare plays have definitely been better than the indecipherable prose I remember haltingly reading aloud in school. Might have been something to do with all the 17 year old burds dressed in sheets, mind.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chalice

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I didn't know that was what happened.
Well. The converting went poorly. The 'humour' often made me cringe :earl:

---

Sup, hotshot. Sent you an email(s). Did you get them/it?

---

Yep, just looked and there are two from you. Very much obliged to you, sir.
I'll definitely be having a wade through that attachment :]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Caballero

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I don't know if they're critically acclaimed, I would imagine so, but everyone I speak to thinks they're fantastic. Even if they haven't read them.
My conclusion, based on my taste alone, is that HGttG is the emperor's new clothes of sci-fi.

---

I guess that means you really don't care for Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency? :)

--> http://filesharingtalk.com/nzbs/tv/x...V-x264-KILLERS

--> http://filesharingtalk.com/nzbs/tv/x...V-x264-KILLERS

---

Are you the one who keeps telling my Kindle app that I want to read that, presumably, tepid pile of spluff residue.
It probably thinks it's being helpful but I'd rather get pegged by mary and her furry entourage.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chalice

Sup, hotshot. Sent you an email(s). Did you get them/it?

---

Yep, just looked and there are two from you. Very much obliged to you, sir.
I'll definitely be having a wade through that attachment :]

---

Good good.

Also replied with some words.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

Just got home now after 7 hours of traveling :emo: I've been to Colchester zoo. It was the misseses christmas present 2015, an animal experience thing where she got to hand feed a sloth. This was the earliest we could book it lyke as they're apparently popular.

It was pretty shit for me. I hate zoos because I've been dragged to almost all of them. She loved it. She got to go into the sloth cage and shove some leaves in its idiot mouth for 20 minutes whilst I stood on the other side taking pics. She also got a "free" keyring and a £7.50 lunch voucher :smilie4: I had to pay for mine, I had a massive hotdog and a capaccino which came to £89,000000.

All in all, it was an expensive trip to feed a retard monkey. Trains, hotels, food etc. I think this year I'll just get her a new wash cloth or a sock.

In other news, I've been watching Oz. That merkin prison drama from the late 90s. Its great. I watched a few of them as a child but can't remember stuffs. My sky tellybawcks has them all on it, almost finished season 1. No 19 year old spoilers but in the last episode I watched a man knocked another man to the ground, put a bench over him and shat in his mouth. Great stuff.

---

Still think you need to devise a way to get her a garden. If only there was a way to buy a present for someone to do something that you didn't also have to do. I feel your pain, I've been to see musicals.
Although the Green Day one was great, to be fair.

What kind of similar thing does she do for you that she doesn't really like but that you think is fantastic :naughty: :unsure:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Also replied with some words.

---

Thank you for that. I'm sweet to the beat momentarily. I tend to fluctuate, though, like squids and hair styles.

Regarding the book, yes, it's hella daunting, knowing what I know of his previous written word endeavours and the anticipation of this beast, purportedly his magnum opus. So the expectation has kinda ruined it. He had trumpeted at its inception that it would reach a million words. It did, he didn't lie. It's just been normalised for the masses via a very probably necessary editorial regime.

I mourn the missing 400,000 words, but what are you gonna do.

Mrs JP (and others) once spent a night drinking with a chap she had only been introduced to as Douglas.

They had to part company as they were told they had to go through for the speech, an unfortunate addition to the free bar. They all agreed to return to the bar afterwards, hoping the intervening period wasn't too boring.

She was predictably surprised when Douglas Adams was introduced to give said speech.

Fortunately he started by telling Mrs JP that he would try not to make it too boring and that they could compare notes afterwards.

True Story.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

Mrs JP (and others) once spent a night drinking with a chap she had only been introduced to as Douglas.

They had to part company as they were told they had to go through for the speech, an unfortunate addition to the free bar. They all agreed to return to the bar afterwards, hoping the intervening period wasn't too boring.

She was predictably surprised when Douglas Adams was introduced to give said speech.

Fortunately he started by telling Mrs JP that he would try not to make it too boring and that they could compare notes afterwards.

True Story.

---

Class.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chalice

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

Mrs JP (and others) once spent a night drinking with a chap she had only been introduced to as Douglas.

They had to part company as they were told they had to go through for the speech, an unfortunate addition to the free bar. They all agreed to return to the bar afterwards, hoping the intervening period wasn't too boring.

She was predictably surprised when Douglas Adams was introduced to give said speech.

Fortunately he started by telling Mrs JP that he would try not to make it too boring and that they could compare notes afterwards.

True Story.

---

Class.

---

It was even more class when she told me the story the following morning, adding that she had got me signed copies of all of the books.

I, reasonably I thought, asked where they were. To which she replied something like "I have absolutely no idea".

I then inquired, again perfectly reasonably to my mind, "Why the feck did you tell me that part then".

How we laughed.

Another True Story.

Ha. Double class. Though it's not that funny. That poor genius is dead now.

Nah, she's still alive and well mate.

Did I tell you she finished her Open Uni thing. Got a BSc (Hons), first class no less.

At least we know where the wean gets it from.

Triple class to the max.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JPaul

Nah, she's still alive and well mate.

Did I tell you she finished her Open Uni thing. Got a BSc (Hons), first class no less.

At least we know where the wean gets it from.

---

Was it the milkman.

I used to chide my sister that she was the fruit of our milkman's loins because she's my younger sister, I imagine everyone does that kind of thing.
Fairly recently, my Mam told me that the milkman had sadly died. I asked my sister how she was bearing up and she shot me a look of pure hatred.
I gave the universal shrug for 'what the fuck did I do?' and went on with my Sunday dinner.
Later the same day it was explained to me that she got really upset each time I said it and actually believed it for a time.

My sister, I mean, my mother always suspected that I was winding her up, one assumes.
Point is that they waited to clue me into the havoc I was wreaking until during my fourth decade on the planet. So I'm basically blameless.

How is Womanker, or is it Mankita, or Mankini. I forget.

It's manketté, I guess as homage to Pierre the milk. Yeah, she's doing well after the counseling and all.
I'll tell her you asked.

Attachment 172752