Bad Joke thread - A New Beginning

[Chip Monk]

A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from the other passenger that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
"WOW, great!" he thinks. "What a good place to be today. "
He is boarding, but he doesn't see the Pope, so he figures that maybe the other passengers were wrong.
He takes his seat and is thankful that there is an empty seat next to him.
Just before the flight closes, the Pope enters the plane and sits next to him.
I am surely blessed the man thinks. Here I am a good Catholic on a flight with the Pope sitting next to me.
The plane takes off, and after a few minutes the passengers take off their seatbelts.
The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag to take out a crossword book.
Marvellous, he thinks, not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me, but he does crosswords and so do I. Maybe he will ask for help.
He notices that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that the Pope is tapping his pencil, thinking.
The Pope turns to him and says: "I usually don't talk to others on flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"
"Anything your eminence. What is it? "
"Do you know a four letter word for 'woman' that ends in u-n-t?"

The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The only word I can think of is aunt."



The Pope looks at him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?"

[Barbarossa]

LOL.
It's funny because presumably the pope wouldn't ask for a rubber

[manker]

Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mam one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!"

A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his Gran a right seeing to.

Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when it's your Mam, is it?"

[Busyman]

A black woman and her black son board a plane.

After about an hour in flight, the plane runs into serious trouble and starts taking teh doive.

To reduce weight the crew dump all the luggage.

An announcement then comes over the loudspeaker, "To reduce weight some of you will have jump off the plane. To be fair, we will go in alphabetical order."

The captain says, "All African-Americans get off the plane."

The mother and son just sit there.

The captain (getting more angry) then says, "All black people get off the plane!"

The mother and son still sit there.

The son asks the mother, "Mommy aren't we all those things?"

The mother says, "Baby....we'z niggaz today."

[Barbarossa]

Pffft, it's funny because it still comes before "whites"

[Busyman]

Two gay fellas are in the tub together.

One notices something floating in the tub and says, "Oh my, why are you spitting in teh tub?"

The other says, "I didn't....I just farted."

[Busyman]

Why did the fella's girlfriend have two black eyes?

Cause he had to tell the bitch twice.

[Busyman]

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey dad, you know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No. How old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, you know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her old, granny, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."

[KFlint]

Pffft, it's funny because it still comes before "whites"

but not before caucasian

[Yinon]

Pffft, it's funny because it still comes before "whites"

but not before caucasian

good point