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Thread: Why women are crabby

  1. #1
    peat moss's Avatar Software Farmer BT Rep: +15BT Rep +15BT Rep +15
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Delta B.C. Canada
    We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old
    only to find that anything that came in contact with
    those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to
    tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training
    bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until
    we had calluses on our backs.

    Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or
    sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we
    cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little
    mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
    cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

    Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was
    having sex for the first time which was about as much
    fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your
    nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his
    little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what
    all the fuss was about.

    Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live
    on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't
    spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of
    course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we
    learned to live with the growing little angels inside us
    steadily kicking our innards night and day making us
    wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

    Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a
    watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we
    sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our
    blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the
    middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big
    cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

    Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB
    says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm
    down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10),"
    warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
    %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram
    a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a

    After that, it was time to raise those angels only to
    find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful
    little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet,
    gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

    Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

    When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our
    voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby
    had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

    So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause,"
    the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT
    and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the
    aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in
    July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite
    the head off anything that moves.

    Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than
    men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on
    life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without
    soaking their socks...

    So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make
    the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker
    sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
    Join Date
    May 2005
    burlington, Ontario
    I didn't know you were a woman

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    peat moss's Avatar Software Farmer BT Rep: +15BT Rep +15BT Rep +15
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Delta B.C. Canada
    Quote Originally Posted by maebach
    I didn't know you were a woman

    Oops I should of read the whole e-mail .


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