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Thread: Secrets of a Happy Marriage

  1. #1
    missie's Avatar yeeehaw
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    Someone sent me this and it made me smile, so I thought I'd share it with you plebs.


    My wife and I have the secret of making a marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice little restaurant, have some good food, a bottle of wine and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays. We sleep in seperate beds, hers in Brisbane, mine in Frankston. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

    I asked her where she wanted to go for our anniversary, "Somewhere I haven't been for a long time," she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

    We always hold hands, if I let go, she goes shopping. She has an electric blender, an electric toaster and an electric breadmaker. When she said that she had too many gadgets but nowhere to sit down, I bought her an electric chair.

    Remember that marriage is the number one cause of divorce, statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage. I married Miss Right, I just didn't know that her first name was Always.

    I haven't spoken to her for eighteen months- I don't like to interrupt. The last time we had a fight it was my fault. She asked, "What's on the TV?"
    I said "Dust."

    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then, God created man and rested. Then God created woman, and since then, neither God nor man has rested.

    I used to be a flier, now I ramble.
    Hey you kids, never suck all the juice out of a tractor.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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    All true!

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Santa's Avatar dvhyt5er
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    missie your tips seem missconcieved since there is absolutly no mention of beer.
    Furthermore the item of panic when there is absolutly nothing to panic about has also been ommitted

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Gripper's Avatar Dexter's Apprentice.
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    All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in my post's are intentional.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Dark Steno's Avatar lol fang tan
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    Ooh la la~
    Yours Sincerely,

    Dark Steno @ Maskawaih


    | manker FTW too! Awesome and superior being ^_^! |


    | Maskawaih.com |My DeviantArt|

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Santa's Avatar dvhyt5er
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    on occasios i would love to have a "panic button" - high piched screaming and shot just to elevate the atmosphere to a more balanced level of total adrenaline intesity
    for the the sake of amuement of course

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