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Thread: SIGNS YOU ARE GAY (Brutal)

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    In a State Of Confusion
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    Yo, isn't time for you to let your fellow office mates know how come
    you aren't married ????


    1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you are
    gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
    rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your
    free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

    2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming fag. A cat is like a
    dog, but
    gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has
    a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed.
    And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get
    your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come
    to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

    3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-pacifiers, or any
    such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only
    sucks bar-b-que ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled
    pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El
    Dicko and undeniably a fag.

    4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in
    a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world
    is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

    5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high
    hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with
    thick, wholesome

    milk) and full-aroma. A 'tang-eating man will never be heard
    ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know
    what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your
    mouth, you've had a dick there too.

    6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different
    types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your
    ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all
    of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major
    league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out
    chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can
    name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!

    7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're
    hungry for meat-popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to
    honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the sumbitch off. The rest of the
    time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger,
    hold his beer, grab the bi-atch in the passenger seat (whoever she
    happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cellphone.

    8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere,
    vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of
    those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of
    the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in
    SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags
    when they flame out too quickly.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
    Join Date
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    burlington, Ontario
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    Quote Originally Posted by hippychick
    6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different
    types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your
    ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all
    of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major
    league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out
    chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can
    name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!

    8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere,
    vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of
    those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of
    the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in
    SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags
    when they flame out too quickly.
    best ones

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Busyman's Avatar Use Logic Or STFU!!!
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Washington D.C.
    Posts
    13,839
    1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you are
    gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
    rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your
    free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

    I am not gay. I just like to stay cut.

    2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming fag. A cat is like a
    dog, but gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has
    a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed.
    And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get
    your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come
    to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

    I used to have a cat.

    3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-pacifiers, or any
    such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only
    sucks bar-b-que ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled
    pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El
    Dicko and undeniably a fag.

    Hell no.

    4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in
    a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world
    is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

    I have shitten in the public restroom on many occasion. I shat at work often.

    5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high
    hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with
    thick, wholesom milk) and full-aroma. A 'tang-eating man will never be heard
    ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know
    what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your
    mouth, you've had a dick there too.

    Don't drink coffee ever. Drink 2% milk and sometimes whole milk.

    6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different
    types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your
    ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all
    of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major
    league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out
    chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can
    name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!

    Fuck off. I know textiles 'cause I used to wear suits everyday (I have about 3 weeks worth with no overlap). Wtf is chartreuse and why would anyone want to know that shit?

    7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're
    hungry for meat-popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to
    honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the sumbitch off. The rest of the
    time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger,
    hold his beer, grab the bi-atch in the passenger seat (whoever she
    happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cellphone.

    I drive with one hand on the wheel and am very reclined.

    8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere,
    vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of
    those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of
    the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in
    SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags
    when they flame out too quickly.

    No bitch flicks
    Silly bitch, your weapons cannot harm me. Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, Bitchhhh!

    Flies Like An Arrow, Flies Like An Apple
    ---12323---4552-----
    2133--STRENGTH--8310
    344---5--5301---3232

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    GepperRankins's Avatar we want your oil!
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    the suburbs. honestment
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    21,102
    just number 4

    i fucking hate cats


    edit: banloue 13 and belleville rendezvouz were ok

    edit edit: i know they're spelled wrong
    Last edited by GepperRankins; 09-15-2005 at 03:42 AM.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    iMartin's Avatar ♥Home Grown♥ BT Rep: +9BT Rep +9
    Join Date
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    Location
    BFE
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    1,912
    I know many kinds of desserts. I do love my food.
    Last edited by iMartin; 09-15-2005 at 03:51 AM.



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