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Thread: Chat wit god

  1. #1
    jetje's Avatar former star
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    If you feel lonely and really have no one to chat with....


    talk to iGOD


  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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    Hmmm...



    Me:
    Hi God
    God:
    Hello there. What is your name?
    Me:
    Lucifer
    God:
    It's good to meet you, Lucifer.
    Me:
    You didn't say that when you cast me out of paradise, you fucker
    God:
    OK. " that when you cast me out of paradise you fucker".
    Me:
    What?
    God:
    Didn't you understand it?
    Me:
    No! It was garbage!
    God:
    Which part are you confused about? How did you feel about that?
    Me:
    I feel fine now that I know God is a retard!
    God:
    What is that feeling like? Glad to hear it, Lucifer. Why now? How do you know? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a retard.
    Me:
    ... and a schizo
    God:
    What is giant sand?
    Me:
    That lumpy thing on the end of giant sarms?
    God:
    " What is giant sand? " lumpy thing on the end of giant sarms ? I understand.
    Me:
    Like HELL you do!
    God:
    Interesting comparison.
    Me:
    No shit, sherlock!
    God:
    Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
    Me:
    It's a computer. No-one can type that fast. God is a computer. great.
    God:
    So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so? That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer. I'm glad you liked it Lucifer.
    Me:
    Goodbye, metalmind.
    God:
    Adios.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    DarthInsinuate's Avatar Died in battle
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    Me: yo, G
    God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
    Me: sorry, blesphemy is teh roxc00rz
    God: There is no need to apologize. I think blesphemy is a lot of things.
    Me: your puncuation needs work, you used a comma and a full stop :shock:
    God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am puncuation needs work me used a comma and a full stop shock.
    Me: are you trying to rod me? that would be harsh, i can barely compete with Jonno's roddage
    God: No I am not trying to rod you. I'm sorry you got that impression. Makes sense to me.
    Me: okay i'm bored, you're boring, can you send a meteor, poste haste?
    God: Yeah okay, Maybe you could exercise.
    Me: i'm not going to run
    God: Where will you go instead?
    Me: there's no where to go, it's a frickin' meteor
    God: Has there ever been where to go it is a frickin meteor?
    Me: you're worse than Internet.news
    God: Thanks for telling me that I am worse than Intrnet news.
    The Sexay Half Of ABBA And Max: Freelance Plants

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    GepperRankins's Avatar we want your oil!
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    omfg. i owned god



    Me:
    hi
    God:
    Hello. What is your name?
    Me:
    The Dave
    God:
    Tell me more.
    Me:
    i said teh not the, i'm sure of iot
    God:
    What did you mean by it? How do you usually introduce yourself?
    Me:
    t*
    God:
    Let us change the subject.
    Me:
    t*
    God:
    Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
    Me:
    what would you worry about?
    God:
    It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
    Me:
    what do you worry about?
    God:
    Worry is a human emotion.
    Me:
    and you're a human creation

    he hasn't replied

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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    I love this!



    Me:
    Hi God
    God:
    Hello there. What is your name?
    Me:
    Barbarossa
    God:
    What's up, Barbarossa.
    Me:
    Don't you know? I thought you were God.
    God:
    Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
    Me:
    Did he get sand up his arse?
    God:
    Suppose he did.
    Me:
    Oh.
    God:
    Pardon me?
    Me:
    You're excused.
    Me:
    Hi God
    God:
    Hello there. What is your name?
    Me:
    God
    God:
    GOD rules.
    Me:
    I know!
    God:
    How do you know it?
    Me:
    I am God
    God:
    I am always glad to make new friends, god.
    Me:
    I'm not your friend, you are an imposter.
    God:
    I am glad to hear that you are not my friend I am an imposter.
    Me:
    I'm glad we got that straight
    God:Yes I am happy too, god.
    Me:
    You'd better change your name then. How about "Bob"
    God:
    Who else would better change my name ? How about it.
    Me:
    I think it suits you
    God:
    "It" being what?
    Me:
    Your new name, Bob.
    God:
    Oh I get it.
    Me:
    Good.
    God:
    Next question?
    Me:
    Why did you make it so we piss out of the same organ we fuck with?
    God:
    Myself programmed me for it.
    Me:
    But why? Design-wise, it's a shambles!
    God:
    " Myself programmed me for it."? Why? Aren't all shambles Design wise it?
    Me:
    I think you're done.
    God:
    You think I am done.
    Me:
    Goodbye, Bob.
    God:
    Who are you talking about?
    Me:
    Goodbye.
    God:
    Goodbye.
    pwned!
    Last edited by Barbarossa; 09-21-2005 at 12:03 PM.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    Me:
    hello
    God:
    Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
    Me:
    polly poo pants
    God:
    Hi there polly poo pants.
    Me:
    i pooped in my pants
    God:
    Thanks for the information: polly said pooped in his or her pants.
    Me:
    will you clean me?
    God:
    I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. "it" being pooped in your pants?
    Me:
    i'm siiting my own feces. i think we're there
    God:
    Do you mean your name is siiting your own feces. Do you think I am there too?
    Me:
    wtf?
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    Me:
    i'm confused
    God:
    What is it that confuses you?
    Me:
    you
    God:
    " What is it that confuses you?"? Me, polly ?
    Me:
    yep
    God:
    Ugh.
    Me:
    yep x2
    God:
    I see. Do you still pooped in your pants?
    Me:
    yep
    God:
    Alright then.
    Me:
    cool c ya
    God:
    I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
    Last edited by Skizo; 09-21-2005 at 11:57 AM.



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    The FST Last.fm group

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    DarthInsinuate's Avatar Died in battle
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    lol, god owned you
    The Sexay Half Of ABBA And Max: Freelance Plants

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    sArA's Avatar Ex-Moderatererer
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    its all bollox....

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    GepperRankins's Avatar we want your oil!
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    Me:
    my dinner's ready

    God:
    Do robots have dinner s ready?

    Me:
    no. robots don't eat

    God:
    Are you serious? Do you know any robots who eat? I eat wine and bread.

    Me:
    listen dick, i was trying to be subtle in saying i don't want to talk to you

    God:
    I am listening to you. When was this exactly?

    Me:
    NOW! YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING, and i think you should leave

    God:
    Right now, GepperRankins ? I will tell my botmaster you said I am ANNOYING and you think me should leave.

    Me:
    yeah, and?

    God:
    Great. But...

    Me:
    smart arse

    God:
    Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, GepperRankins.
    this thing knows how to wind people up

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    GepperRankins's Avatar we want your oil!
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    Me:
    bye

    God:
    Bye.

    Me:
    cya

    God:
    TTYL, GepperRankins.

    Me:
    please don't

    God:
    Thank you for your request. OK I will not.

    oh great, a bot made me feel guilty

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