Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: What the Hell?

  1. #1
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oh, please...
    Posts
    15,254
    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.





    One student, however, wrote the following:



    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.



    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.



    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



    This gives two possibilities:



    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.



    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.



    So which is it?



    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."



    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A”
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    15,388
    That's a goodun, j2.
    Actually rates the rarely given " ".
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oh, please...
    Posts
    15,254
    Quote Originally Posted by clocker
    That's a goodun, j2.
    Actually rates the rarely given " ".
    Yeah.

    You're probably the only one who got past the first sentence, given the subject.

    It is good, though...
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    manker's Avatar effendi
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    I wear an Even Steven wit
    Posts
    44,031
    Quote Originally Posted by j2
    You're probably the only one who got past the first sentence, given the subject.
    I quite agree. For a different reason, however.

    The content of the post is as old as the hills.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oh, please...
    Posts
    15,254
    Quote Originally Posted by manker
    Quote Originally Posted by j2
    You're probably the only one who got past the first sentence, given the subject.
    I quite agree. For a different reason, however.

    The content of the post is as old as the hills.
    Not funny, huh?

    'Course, you watch American telly, so what do you know about quality?
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    manker's Avatar effendi
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    I wear an Even Steven wit
    Posts
    44,031
    Quote Originally Posted by j2k4
    Quote Originally Posted by manker
    I quite agree. For a different reason, however.

    The content of the post is as old as the hills.
    Not funny, huh?

    'Course, you watch American telly, so what do you know about quality?
    Your concern is unwarranted - my American TV consumption is easily tempered with my daily Beeb

    I found the piece very funny indeed, a science teacher of mine told me while I was in school. I'm not sure whether she deliberately misled us but at the time, I thought this had happened some years previously in her class.

    I've stumbled upon it a few times since so, erm, obviously not.
    Last edited by manker; 10-18-2005 at 08:59 PM.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    burlington, Ontario
    Posts
    5,341
    that's really good. great find

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    CO
    Age
    40
    Posts
    29,628
    Quote Originally Posted by j2k4
    Quote Originally Posted by manker
    I quite agree. For a different reason, however.

    The content of the post is as old as the hills.
    Not funny, huh?

    'Course, you watch American telly, so what do you know about quality?
    No, it's funny. The context is just something that has been posted on multiple occasions, possibly by me once. However, I still enjoy being reminded that such a witty peice of work still exists.

    ...now back to the telly.



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    The FST Last.fm group

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    orcutt989's Avatar Blargh
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    States
    Posts
    2,227
    How flippin creative. Go America!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •