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Thread: Tech Support

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
    Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
    Customer: Yeah....
    Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
    Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
    Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

    ===============

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female customer: A white one...

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?

    ===============

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    ===============

    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


    ===============

    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

    ===============

    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

    ===============

    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.

    ===============

    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    ===============

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.



    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

    ===============

    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

    ===============

    And last but not least:....

    Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    NeoTheOne's Avatar Poster
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    LOL im not bill gates LOL good stuff

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Darth Sushi's Avatar Sushi Lord
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    you should add:

    Customer: Which hand do I press the button with?
    Tech support: The one you jerk off with!

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Rip The Jacker's Avatar Retired
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    Great post!

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    dodgy368's Avatar Poster
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    Brilliant post.
    ...................................................................
    Here's another one to add to that list, a friend of mine had this conversation with tech support when he first bought a pc and it's 100% true!

    Tech support: Now I want you to right click on the middle of your desktop.

    My friend: You want me to WRITE click on the middle of my desktop? What type of pen would I use to do that?
    ....................................................................

    For months after, everytime I saw him I started laughing and him being Irish just made it funnier to me.

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