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Thread: EuroEnglish

  1. #1
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    EuroEnglish

    The European Union commissioners have announced
    that agreement has been reached to adopt English
    as the preferred language for European
    communications, rather than German, which was the
    other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
    Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
    spelling had some room for improvement and has
    accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be
    known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the
    first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft
    'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this
    news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be
    replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up
    konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less
    letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
    sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be
    replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
    'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
    spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
    more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
    will enkourage the removal of double letters,
    which have always ben a deterent to akurate
    speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
    of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and
    they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
    such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'.
    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
    from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes
    vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of
    leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
    sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or
    difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
    understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    I liked it until the last paragraph, that went too far.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    <---
    cryco pig

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    twisterX's Avatar Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by rossco
    I liked it until the last paragraph, that went too far.
    yea i cant even read the 5th paragraph. THe others are fine. I like some ideas like C to K.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    Dikk.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    twisterX's Avatar Poster
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    Cok

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    Forgot; no dubl leters.

    Dik

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    twisterX's Avatar Poster
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    Kok

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    ze vanker
    cryco pig

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    twisterX's Avatar Poster
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    ze m dont transfer to anything.

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