In the old days young women would put something behind their ears to attract a man;
then it was perfume, now, it's their legs.
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A distraught young man made an appointment with a psychiatrist.
"I was out of town on business," he told the doctor," and I wired my wife that I would be coming home on Tuesday, instead of Wednesday. When I got in I went straight home as fast as I could, and when I got there I found her in bed with my best friend!"
The man then broke down into uncontrollable tears.
The doctor considered the problem for a couple of moments then said, "Maybe she never got your telegram."
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A husband is visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years.
On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her.
While doing so, the wife lets out a sigh. Pleasantly surprised, the husband runs out and tells the doctor.
"That is a good sign," suggests the doctor, "Why don't you try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction."
The husband returns to his wife's bedside and rubs her right breast which brings a moan from his wife.
He rushes out again and tells the doctor.
The doctor thinks this is amazing and could perhaps be a real break through. The doctor then suggests the man return to her bedside and perform oral sex.
More than happy to accommodate, the husband returns to his wife's bedside to do his deed.
Some five minutes later, the husband comes running from his wife's bedside screaming for the doctor.
"What's going on?" asks the doctor.
The husband yells, "My wife stopped breathing!"
"What happened?" asks the doctor. "Everything seemed to be looking good a few minutes ago."
The husband replies, "She choked."
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