To recognise the Truth one must be standing on the ground of Lies...
Ancient Sumerian legends predicted the development of the CD, the Internet, and - most interestingly - ground-to-air heat-seeking marmots.
The well known British washing up liquid "Quantum" Does not in fact dissolve dirt; instead it reduces the dirt's wave function below the observable event horizon, making it appear to have disappeared.
The economy of Easter Island; which was based on the trading of mud; was brought to it's knees when missionaries explained that mud could be made by mixing dirt and water.
When confronted with the Truth, most politicians will steal it, then say it never existed. If the truth is old, they will often attempt to sell it to third world countries.
Many people hear the sounds produced by dolphins and believe they can communicate intelligently. However, these sounds are meaningless, as dolphins -prefer to communicate via the Internet.It is estimated that up to 25% of all chat room users are dolphins.
Religious sites on the Internet have now overtaken porn as the number one in search engine requests. Experts have put this down to the increasing numbers who surf whilst at work and are hit by sudden pangs of guilt about the time they are waisting.
Researchers have verified that 75% of all INTERNET users surf the web naked.
The INTERNET was created at the insistence of an international fishing consortium, who completely misunderstood the original concept.
Internet search engines run on diesel.
Internet providers are asking customers to use darker colours in their images because, when turned into binary they result in smaller numbers. This makes them cheaper because 0's use less electricity than 1's.
The so called lost Continent of Atlantis, was not lost but stolen!
Waffles were not invented in Belgium; rather, they were originally used by tribe members of the Upper Congo as a mathematical tool for assisting in complex matrix and quantum trigonometric calculations. The Belgian explorers, being uncivilised, ate them.
Libya has banned the month of August. By skipping the hottest month of the year, the Libyans not only save on cooling bills but expect to reach the twenty-second century ahead of the rest of the world.
In 1994 Xodyx, a Silicon Valley start-up company, developed an e-mail server that could deliver messages up to 36 hours before they were sent. The temporal informational paradoxes the device created, however, caused the founding of the company to unhappen in 1993, thus precluding the invention of the device itself a year later. The disappearance of the Xodyx device from space-time briefly caused the NASDAQ stock index to sink to a negative number.
All of our categorisations and classifications of the world around us is based on our self interest, our need to survive. When we think of lions, we think of big claws, fangs, and an animal that eats us. We do not think of an animal with four legs that has approximately 14,642 hairs. We base our knowledge on our necessity to survive, on our instinctive need to stay alive and reproduce. Thus all knowledge we perceive is skewed to our perspective. Our perspective dominates our lives and we think it dominates the universe as well. But since our knowledge, everything we know and observe and have cared about from our beginnings as primates none of our thoughts and perceptions about the world are objective, they do not exist outside of out own narrow, little worlds, and thus we can never say we are saying the truth. Our truth is precisely that, only our own. Nobody but our own pathetic, insignificant society cares about what we think and how we think about them except us because nothing that we care about applies to anyone else. Everything is then not an objective truth, in the traditional sense of the word, but a lie. This view is in no way a moral judgement or perspective on the human condition, but it is a view in the extra-moral sense. In a sense that is higher than morality, above and beyond it, one that cannot be constrained by morality. In the sense that these lies are not "bad" and the search for the truth is not necessarily "good", but that is just the way it is, the truth is not necessarily so.
Now to finish with a few "Peanuts" Quotes
"Sometimes I lay awake at night, and I ask, "where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night!"
"Sometimes I lay awake at night and ask, Is it all worth it? And then a voice says, "Who are you talking to? And another voice says, ": You mean: to whom are you talking! And I say, "No wonder I lie awake at night?"
Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you cant answer. In the book of life, the answers are not in the back.
wizeard
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