Letter From Management

[zak]

Dear staff,


Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy in US since last Christmas, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants of Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management

[dlingeverything]

hahahaha lol
really nice good job

[Afronaut]

This was a good one!

-GS-

[Shadow]

hahahahaha

good one!

[zak]

glad you guys like it, i'm currenlty receiveing lots of SHIT from Managemet (Special High Intensity Training)

[hawk]

ROFLMAO

[googleman]

I get as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) from the management staff as possible and i am being subject to RAPE (Retire Aged People Early) after a SCREW (Special Help After Forced Termination) and getting HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). SHIT is in my workplace a lot.SHIT helps my RAPE while SHAFTED (Special Help After Forced Termination). (might not be as funny but still, worth a try huh?) RAPE feeds off SHIT btw

[Proper Bo]

Originally posted by googleman@1 May 2003 - 22:06
I get as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) from the management staff as possible and i am being subject to RAPE (Retire Aged People Early) after a SCREW (Special Help After Forced Termination) and getting HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). SHIT is in my workplace a lot.SHIT helps my RAPE while SHAFTED (Special Help After Forced Termination). (might not be as funny but still, worth a try huh?) RAPE feeds off SHIT btw

..............................Kinda killed it there.........................................

[ugluk]

hehhehe! good joke there, zak!

[zak]

Thanks UGLUK, I received a new letter from Managemet today they are going to be stopping RAPE (Retire Aged People Early) from today onwards. This means there is going to be more people SHAFTED (Special Help After Forced Termination).