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Thread: JP's Harshity - all an interweb act, isn't it.

  1. #1
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    I was in bed, reading. The lad wouldn't sleep and was creating merry hell around me but he seemed happy enough so I left him to it.

    The phone rang - now normally I don't answer it to numbers I don't know but I did and was greeted by a someone 'looking for manker' who initially sounded Pakistani but then I later realised it was Scotch.

    I thought it must be Spider_dude because he is the only Scot who rings me so conducted the conversation as if it was him. After much confusion and me telling 'Liam' to stfu and this 'Jim' telling me that his name wasn't 'Ian', I realised it was JP. I'd never spoken to him before, so it was quite a novelty.

    I don't have total recall of the conversation but I do remember JP telling me that my plan to phone at 9:30 the next morning to say whether I needed an extra ticket to Keano's testimonial (the reason for the phonecall) was an "Ideal idea" - which I thought highly amusing in an 'at not with' kinda way.

    Anyhow. By now the boy was playing up a bit and obviously wanted me to stop talking on the phone - so I said this to JP:

    Me: Sorry, I need to see to my Son. Sorry I can't stop on and chat.
    JP: What?
    Me: Sorry I can't stay and chat but the lad ... .
    JP <interrupting>: I heard what you said; the chances of me actually phoning up someone from the interweb is nigh on fucking zero so if you think for a second that I'm wanting to stay and chat then you're mistaken.

    <slight pause>

    JP: In fact, after this conversation, I hope I never have to speak to you ever again. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

    Me <laughing>: Well, okay that's fair enough, I'll have to phone tomorrow tho'.
    JP: Sure. Bye now.


    Click.

    I'm paraphrasing, obviously, and maybe it wasn't as harsh as all that - more jovial - but I was like
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Proper Bo's Avatar spmado BT Rep: +2
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    he didn't even pretend to be phoning with your aids test results like i said he should?:shocked:

    As long as I've got a face
    You've got a place to sit

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    He might have - I was rly confused at the start of the conversation and wasn't yet tuned into foreign-speak.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Proper Bo's Avatar spmado BT Rep: +2
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    note: you should point out that "the lad" is your bairn, not a pet name for your boyfriend. just for people who don't know, like.

    edit: just noticed you mentioned "son" a few times

    As long as I've got a face
    You've got a place to sit

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Other than me saying "Sorry if that sounds overly harsh" that's pretty much it.

    Had it just been harsh I would have felt no need to make mention of it. That seems fair enough.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Proper Bo's Avatar spmado BT Rep: +2
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    Quote Originally Posted by manker
    He might have - I was rly confused at the start of the conversation and wasn't yet tuned into foreign-speak.
    did he larf at your silly accent?

    infact, it'd have been a "who sounds daftest"-athon

    As long as I've got a face
    You've got a place to sit

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proper Bo
    he didn't even pretend to be phoning with your aids test results like i said he should?:shocked:
    I tried to, but soon realized I was dealing with a befuddled dolt and decided to "dumb it down".

    Imagine my horror when he apologized for not being in a position to carry on, with an extended conversation. I'm a guy for fuck sake, get the business sorted and hang the fuck up. Burds and emos "chat".

    How it should have gone.

    Me - Is that manker

    manker - Indeed.

    Me - Do you have a mate who wants a free ticket for the game, manutd end.

    manker - Not sure. I'll ask about.

    Me - OK, phone me in the morning.

    click.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Proper Bo's Avatar spmado BT Rep: +2
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    you=more manly than manker.

    fact.

    (he's phoned me just for a chat before)

    As long as I've got a face
    You've got a place to sit

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proper Bo
    you=more manly than manker.

    fact.

    (he's phoned me just for a chat before)
    Beore what.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    There was me feeling pretty chuffed that you phoned




    Btw, that aids test result thing wouldn't really have worked with JP only knowing my screen name.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

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