THIS PARROT IS DECEASED, IT HAS CEASED TO BE
Small and Squeaky
THIS PARROT IS DECEASED, IT HAS CEASED TO BE
Poster
System:
LANPARTY UT NF4 SLI-DR Expert
AMD Athlon 64 X2 4200+
Xfx 7900gt extreme
2x Maxtor 250gb sata
2x Maxtor 80gb (p)ata
2x 512mb mem , dual channel
Tagan 580w psu
Coolermaster stacker case
Zalman reserator 1
......no, it's just sleeping !
It's been NAILED to the bloody perch !
Poster
post in the sexiest lady thread:
racer II 227
ShareDaddy 167
mrcall1969 107
Z 54
alan36uk 51
Benno 23
Lamsey 20
tilen76 17
AmarjitSingh 17
ezyryder 13
b_m_c1 11
Jayhawk 11
BROCKSTER 8
NightCrawler 8
KingYoshi 8
Skillian 8
Schmiggy_JK23 8
Rat Faced 7
-Archwolf- 7
"The Avatar Man" 7
Wolfmight 6
Got_memory? 6
kAb 5
CosmoK 5
-NL- 5
Night Ass 5
DataMore 4
KurtCocain 4
olibomb 4
Skweeky 4
Curley 4
NikkiD 3
metalrebelzz 3
FuNkY CaPrIcOrN [R.I.P] 3
Bender 3
Ron 3
Mathea 3
chloe_cc2002 3
BALD_GUY 3
Nightwolf^.`.^ 3
kaspiske 3
pyromonkey 3
ZzZzZz 3
Hazzy Hazz 3
fook_mi 2
itay 2
andrewlamb098 2
artmaster88 2
cooolway 2
RedRival 2
{I}{K}{E} 2
jay973 2
gumbydancin 2
bowser 2
scribblec 2
fallenknight308 2
Bass 2
Grindylow103 2
yorez 2
Luca_Snipes 1
bronco 1
skelley521 1
MusicWorld 1
gnice4now 1
LSA 1
SolidWing68 1
PersianBulldog 1
Grim 1
Darth Sushi 1
ibb1982 1
Energizer_God 1
Juliette187 1
digital.bullet 1
ToraBoraDweller 1
summerlinda 1
hawkeye18 1
ripley02 1
Nottingham_Forest_Football_Club 1
zhelynd 1
The_Great_Dude_[R.I.P.] 1
Razz 1
Fruden 1
SuperJude™ 1
insanebassman 1
Spindulik 1
Crack_man 1
FlamingYob 1
ruhroh 1
swarnel 1
SlimShady 1
nahan 1
tkc204 1
j2k4 1
Eatchipz 1
Cereal21 1
hawk 1
Holy calculator Batman !!!
No Rocktron in that long list?maybe because he has no pictures available?
Or just doesn't dare to reply. Or he's working on some pics.
edit: Uhm.. not my pictures i hope!
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a
complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about
this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago
from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's
wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead,
that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and
I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird,
the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle
fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine
o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the
counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to
the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough
of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I
purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its
total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged
out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?,
look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im
home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable
bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I
got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had
been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had
been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that
bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em
apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four
million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more!
He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you
hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run
down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop,
and uh, we're right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
O: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll
replace the parrot for you.
C: Bolton, eh? Very well.
The customer leaves.
The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is putting on a
false moustache.
C: This is Bolton, is it?
O: (with a fake mustache) No, it's Ipswitch.
C: (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you.
The customer goes to the train station.
He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked "Complaints".
C: I wish to complain, British-Railways Person.
Attendant: I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS JOB, YOU KNOW!!!
C: I beg your pardon...?
A: I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job because I
like being my own boss!
C: Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?
A: Yeah, well it's not easy to pad these python files out to
200 lines, you know.
C: Well, I wish to complain. I got on the Bolton train and found
myself deposited here in Ipswitch.
A: No, this is Bolton.
C: (to the camera) The pet shop man's brother was lying!!
A: Can't blame British Rail for that.
C: In that case, I shall return to the pet shop!
He does.
C: I understand this IS Bolton.
O: (still with the fake mustache) Yes?
C: You told me it was Ipswitch!
O: ...It was a pun.
C: (pause) A PUN?!?
O: No, no...not a pun...What's that thing that spells the same
backwards as forwards?
C: (Long pause) A palindrome...?
O: Yeah, that's it!
C: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be
"Notlob"!! It don't work!!
O: Well, what do you want?
C: I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as
I think this is getting too silly!
Sergeant-Major: Quite agree, quite agree, too silly, far too
silly...
every sperm is sacred every sperm is great,
if a sperm is wasted god gets quite irate. (the meaning of life)
hmm, quite appropriate in relation to kazaa and threads
about "sexiest woman" me thinks.
avatar rules are:
max 80x80
100kb
Racer likes posting women
man cllimbs out of the surf after what appears to be an epic swim from a deserted island somewhere...his hair and beard are long and matted, he's practically dead from exposure....but he MUST fulfill his only mission in life if it costs him his very last breath....he heaves himself up on to his knees and says................................
......................................................IT'S !
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
maybe because he has no pictures available?
man cllimbs out of the surf after what appears to be an epic swim from a deserted island somewhere...his hair and beard are long and matted, he's practically dead from exposure....but he MUST fulfill his only mission in life if it costs him his very last breath....he heaves himself up on to his knees and says................................
Bookmarks