Scottish weddings

[JPaul]

I might have developed a sore back by then.

With all the outdoors shagging and that

There will be wummin with replacement hips and rickets doing it.

Your post coital back-ache will not be considered a reasonable excuse.

[Skweeky]

Is there any way out of this?

[JPaul]

Is there any way out of this?

Of course there is, fake your own death.

Short of that, learn "The Slosh" and accept you will have to do it in public. If this is your first public appearance with the hun bf expect particular scrutiny.

[CELEBS]

also expect to spit at the cross and slaughter lambs to their pagan gods.

[j2k4]

Logic would seem to dictate you are exempt from accumulating any haggis-stains on your cawk, though.

My guess, anyway.

[Skweeky]

The chap in question is a Celtic fan and Catholic too...
I doubt there will be any spitting at the cross.

My bf is refusing to go to church, He says he's scared of catholic masses since we went to a funeral once and I knew the thing by heart ( in Dutch, but it would be more of a sin not to say anything because I didn't know the words in English right??)

I quite like haggis though...

[JPaul]

also expect to spit at the cross and slaughter lambs to their pagan gods.

:earl:

They haven't done that for weeks. However they should be allowed to, because it is part of their proud heritage. In fact we should all join in and make it into some sort of McMardi Gras.

[Biggles]

Might be an idea to learn a reel or two. Not so that you can dazzle them with your cultural adeptness but purely in order to survive the dance with all your limbs attached.

Note: reels are excellent for sweating the alcohol out and thus increase ones drinking capability.

[JPaul]

The chap in question is a Celtic fan and Catholic too...

Can I just say it's awesome the order you chose to place them in. Denoting that the former does not pre-suppose the later.

[JPaul]

Might be an idea to learn a reel or two. Not so that you can dazzle them with your cultural adeptness but purely in order to survive the dance with all your limbs attached.

Note: reels are excellent for sweating the alcohol out and thus increase ones drinking capability.

That's where you've been going wrong right mate. The reel sweats out the watter, making the alcohol more concentrated.