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Thread: A Tale of a Bird, Lesbians, Pussy and my Back Window - Pics included!

  1. #1
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    So, there I was, watching Teletubbies with my Son on my lap at 5:30am this morning, when a noise that I can only describe as akin to a snowball hitting a window alerted me to the fact that we weren't the only two mortal beings awake at such an ungodly hour.

    Cheered by this, I looked left to see feathers settling on my windowsill, both inside and outside of the window. We stealthily crept over to investigate and it became apparant that a bird had flown into the window, bounced off and hit the patio - already there was a HUGE cat, looking to pounce upon the wounded prey.

    With the missus upstairs in bed, we did the only thing we could - rushed downstairs into the kitchen and out of the back door to confront the feral feline and save the askew avian adventurer.

    After a brief skirmish the cat ran away. It was then I realised that I didn't really know what to do with the injured bird, like feck was I taking care of it, so I did what any other reponsible person would do. I shouted for the lesbians that live next door to come and help me. They did too, catching the thrush in a damp () towel and hieing it away to the safety of their debauched dwelling.




    I treated the lad to chocolate buttons for breakfast instead of Cherios because, goddamnit, he deserved it.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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    Sounds hawt.

    However, when Doris gets here he's going to tell you that you should have let the cat eat the bird, because that would have taught your boy the important life lesson that it's better to be an opportunist predator in life, than some kind of sick emo blind spotty bird


    EDIT: Even if you do get looked after by lesbians
    Last edited by Barbarossa; 08-08-2006 at 10:18 AM. Reason: Afterthought

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    I think I impressed the lesbians with my vigilance
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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    I suspect a follow-up visit next door will be necessary, to make sure the bird recovered OK, like

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Gemby!'s Avatar Poster
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    If the bird is gonna be dumb enough to fly into a window then i think it deserves to be eaten ....
    Single handedly destroying the NHS from the inside

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by gemby! View Post
    If the bird is gonna be dumb enough to fly into a window then i think it deserves to be eaten ....
    I can see how you came to that conclusion but in the bird's defence, my windows are perfectly clear - I don't live in smeggy London.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Gemby!'s Avatar Poster
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    oi ! how else do i stop the chavs in my area from breaking in after seeing what i have to offer











    Single handedly destroying the NHS from the inside

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    Quote Originally Posted by manker View Post
    With the missus upstairs in bed, we did the only thing we could - rushed downstairs into the kitchen and out of the back door to confront the feral feline and save the askew skewer the avian adventurer.

    Shish kebab, ftw.
    Corrected.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by gemby! View Post



    I've noticed that you're extremely evocative of emotion with emoticons.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by F. Canard View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by manker View Post
    With the missus upstairs in bed, we did the only thing we could - rushed downstairs into the kitchen and out of the back door to confront the feral feline and save the askew skewer the avian adventurer.

    Shish kebab, ftw.
    Corrected.
    Brute.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

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