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  1. #1
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    A business man got on an elevator in a tall building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F."
    He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

    She looked at him,puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

    The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.

    The man smiled back to her and once again answers "S-H-I-T."

    The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F. It means, Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it, duuhhh?"

    The man answered, "S-H-I-T - - - Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
    She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.

    A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.

    Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    Quote Originally Posted by baccyman View Post
    A business man got on an elevator in a tall building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F."
    He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

    She looked at him,puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

    The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.

    The man smiled back to her and once again answers "S-H-I-T."

    The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F. It means, Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it, duuhhh?"

    The man answered, "S-H-I-T - - - Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
    She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.

    A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.

    Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."
    lmao @ the first one

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    n00b BT Rep: +1
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    Haha yup first one is brilliant!

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
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    PMSL!! Nice ones!

    Some say I've got a bad attitude, but that don't change the way I feel about you!

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    i thought that i would stick these in here in stead of starting another thread.


    A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
    He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"

    The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings..."



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper.
    The question directed:

    "Give four advantages of breast milk."

    What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

    1. No need to boil.
    2. Never goes sour.
    3. Available whenever necessary.

    So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again.

    Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

    4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

    He received an A.

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
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    Quote Originally Posted by baccyman View Post
    i thought that i would stick these in here in stead of starting another thread.


    A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
    He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"

    The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings..."



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper.
    The question directed:

    "Give four advantages of breast milk."

    What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

    1. No need to boil.
    2. Never goes sour.
    3. Available whenever necessary.

    So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again.

    Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

    4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

    He received an A.
    The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings..."

    I don't understand

    larf@2nd one tho.
    Biostar XE T5
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    Radeon 5850 @ 866/1254MHZ
    Intel X25-M in RAID 0
    WD Caviar Black 2TB in RAID 0
    3 x Asus 25.5" VW266H LCD [Eyefinity]

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    maxi-pads with wings are sanitary towels.

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."

    He sighed................"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    hahahhaha

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

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