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Thread: Wal-Mart Application

  1. #1
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    CO
    Age
    40
    Posts
    29,631
    True or not, it's funny as hell:


    This is an actual job application that a
    75 year old senior citizen submitted
    to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.

    They hired him because he was so funny.........
    you gotta love it!!!

    NAME:
    George Martin

    SEX:
    Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman
    (or at least one that will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION:
    Company's President or Vice President.
    But seriously, whatever's available.
    If I was in a position to be picky,
    I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY:
    $185,000 a year plus stock options
    and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.
    If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD:
    Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY:
    A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
    My incredible collection of stolen pens
    and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING:
    It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
    Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS:
    1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
    Yes, but they're better suited to
    a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
    If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS
    THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?
    Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
    I think the more appropriate question here
    would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS
    OR RECOGNITION?:
    I may already be a winner of the
    Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,
    so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE?
    On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
    Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy
    dumb sexy blonde supermodel
    who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
    Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    NEAREST RELATIVE....
    7 miles

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE
    AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
    Oh yes, absolutely.

    ***Old People Rock! ***



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    The FST Last.fm group

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    kazaaman's Avatar Proud Indian
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    490
    Rofl, now that is hilarious

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Now that is an honest applicant

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Great one

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,644
    Fake but funny.
    Biostar XE T5
    i5-750 @ 4.0 GHZ stable (CM Hyper 212)
    2 x 2GB Cosair XMS3 DDR3 1600MHZ
    Radeon 5850 @ 866/1254MHZ
    Intel X25-M in RAID 0
    WD Caviar Black 2TB in RAID 0
    3 x Asus 25.5" VW266H LCD [Eyefinity]

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    he funny old man

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