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Thread: New FAA Regulations

  1. #1
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Well, I guess we can all feel safer, wait a sec....

    ‘People Kill People’In its latest airline security restriction, the FAA has banned all people from flights.
    By Andy Borowitz

    Special to Newsweek

    Updated: 1:31 p.m. ET Aug 15, 2006

    Aug. 15, 2006 - In a move aimed at further tightening airport security, the Federal Aviation Administration announced today that it would ban all people from flights leaving or entering the United States, effective immediately.

    The FAA, which has in the past banned such objects as toenail clippers and hair gel, took the extraordinary step of banning people after the Department of Homeland Security conducted a thorough investigation of previous terror plots.

    "We looked at terror plots of the past, and in each and every case, people were involved," said Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff at a Washington press briefing. "These new rules send the strong message that the FAA has zero tolerance for people."

    Chertoff said that while banning liquids from flights was a constructive step, the only true solution was to ban people altogether. "Let's face it, hair gel doesn't kill people," he said. "People kill people."

    The Homeland Security secretary acknowledged that the new rules would curtail Americans' ability to travel, but added, "On the plus side, that will make them easier for us to spy on."

    The FAA's ban on people onboard flights raised questions for the nation's airlines, which must now ponder what, if anything, their airplanes will be carrying.

    But Davis Logsdon, who studies the airline industry at the University of Minnesota, said that the FAA's crackdown on people could be a "win-win" for the airlines: "Maybe if the airlines don't have people to worry about, they can finally concentrate on getting our luggage to the right destination."
    Source: Newsweek

    The FST group

  2. The Drawing Room   -   #2
    Tempestv's Avatar Engineer
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    so if people are the cause of terrorism, then killing all the people should stop terrorism in it's tracks right?
    Plan for the worst, hope for the best

  3. The Drawing Room   -   #3
    Busyman™'s Avatar Use Logic Or STFU!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Quote Originally Posted by SkyNet
    1. People are the cause of terrorism. Killing all the people will stop terrorism.

  4. The Drawing Room   -   #4
    vidcc's Avatar there is no god
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Ahhhhh, the second ammendment rule.

    it’s an election with no Democrats, in one of the whitest states in the union, where rich candidates pay $35 for your votes. Or, as Republicans call it, their vision for the future.

  5. The Drawing Room   -   #5
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Surrey, BC
    Quote Originally Posted by vidcc View Post
    Ahhhhh, the second ammendment rule.

    Thou shalt not flyeth? Oh wait I'm thinking about the commandments, my bad

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.


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