My girlfriend's going on holiday to the Caribbean.
That sounds nice, Jamaica?
No, she's going of her own accord.
My girlfriend's going on holiday to the Caribbean.
That sounds nice, Jamaica?
No, she's going of her own accord.
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Last edited by Alien5; Today at 12:51
A man with a cucumber in his ear, a carrot in his nose, and a tomato in his eye walks into the doctor's office. He says, "Doc, I'm not feeling well. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "First of all, you're not eating right...."
As long as I've got a face
You've got a place to sit
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in a microwave till it's bill withers
As long as I've got a face
You've got a place to sit
Tiger Woods drives his Beamer into a petrol station to fill her up.
He greets the attendent before bending over to pick up the nozzle, and two tees fall out of his pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the attendent.
"They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"What are they for?" the attendent asks him.
"They are for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Bloody 'ell," says the attendent, "BMW think of everything!"
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Last edited by Alien5; Today at 12:51
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the seaweed
What did the big orange say to the little orange?
Nothing, oranges can't talk
Why did the pervert cross the road?
He'd got his dick stuck in the chicken
so bad it actually rofls.
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