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Thread: Guy Rules (worth Another Look)

  1. #1
    ShareDaddy's Avatar OLD ShareDaddy
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
    the male side.

    Please note .... These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    # 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
    you leaving it down.

    # 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    # 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    # 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    # 1. Crying is blackmail.

    # 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
    work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    We'll get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!

    # 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
    calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    # 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any
    good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    # 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    Please pick one.

    # 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
    we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    # 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    # 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you
    hear it.

    # 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
    all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    # 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
    act like soap opera guys.

    # 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
    answer, but still love you.

    # 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    # 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

    # 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

    # 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
    we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

    # 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
    have no idea what Mauve is.

    # 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    # 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
    ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    #1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    # 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
    don't want to hear.

    # 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    Really, you look fine!!!

    # 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
    No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

    # 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    # 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    vivitron 15's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    North East England, UK
    too right....emailing this to my gf as we speak
    <insert signature here>

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    nice one mate i enjoyed that

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    4play's Avatar knob jockey
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    This got printed out and given to all the women i have to work with.

    they in return gave me one about how chocolate is better then men.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Illuminati's Avatar Simple Bystander BT Rep: +7BT Rep +7
    Join Date
    May 2003
    2008 European Capital of Culture
    Hehe - This is the same as the one at the HOTU forum ( a few months back. It&#39;s got new things here and there, but the overall gag&#39;s not new.

    Though this version&#39;s a little mild - the version at HOTU got (within five posts of the original post) a complete reply from a few woman. Let&#39;s just say that it was more 2-1 to the girls after that (unfortunately )

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    ShareDaddy's Avatar OLD ShareDaddy
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    I am glad to see you guys found it as interestingly funny as I.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    Good stuff,
    Weve all heard them before, but its always puts a smile on ya face



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