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Thread: What a night....

  1. #1
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    So I go to my buddy's place in San Antonio. He's just moved there to attend UT med school. We hang out for a bit, then decide to go try out a nearby nudie bar. Mistake. There is a nudie bar by the same name in Austin which is pretty nice, but DO NOT GO TO SUGARS CABARET IN SAN ANTONIO!! Man, we went and it was awful. The place smelled like fried chicken and the women looked like fried chicken. They all had "Daddy's Girl" in old english on their lower back. Hmmm, I'm thinkin they all work for the same pimp. What a great life! This was the first moment when we should have walked out of there.

    So we got a table anyways cause you know how we do it. We paid 50 bucks for a VIP table and 2 bottles of bubbly. By bubbly I mean carbonated piss with a cork stopper, but the ladies were impressed for sure. You know you are in ghetto ass place when they offer you grape juice with your champagne. This was the second time we should have just walked the fuck out of there. We stuck it out anyway because we were trying to show a few of our girlfriends a good time. We were laughing and cutting up and wanted to show the girls that it could still be funny and have a good time. We watched as the girls dragged their 1 dollar and 50 cent asses from stage to stage trying to pull dollars out of the pockets of Pablo and Javier. The girls there have to wear nipple pasties for what the waitress referred to as "health reasons". Let me spell it out for you, that is NOT hawt. The whole gang was having a blast and usually it is a good thing to have the best looking women (by far) in club sitting with you. It is good until you realize your in a nasty club with drooling men that have now turned their attention to your girlfriend and her friends. A very well mannered and respectful young gentleman came over to politely ask my girlfriend and buddy's girlfriend if they were true fans of taking the "money shot" he was so willing to give to any women in the club that night. So now I am sitting at a rickety table, watching a chubby 4 foot 3 prostitute dance, drinking carbonated piss, smelling fried chicken, and this fucker wants to paint two of my best friends' like a goddamn Jackson Pollack! This was most definitely strike three and even though the fun was rising exponentially we decided to leave. Moral of the story- If you smell chicken, don't wait for the rest of the place to suck, just leave. Sugars in SA is not like Sugars in Austin, trust me on this.
    Last edited by Skizo; 09-27-2006 at 06:41 AM.



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  2. Lounge   -   #2
    MagicNakor's Avatar On the Peripheral
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    I know a sleezy nudie bar is the place I'd go to impress my girlfriend.

    things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia
    so, he does
    the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING"
    and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz"
    the russians fall back, all the way to moscow
    and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter
    the germans are like "wtf, h4x"
    -- WW2 for the l33t

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagicNakor View Post
    I know a sleezy nudie bar is the place I'd go to impress my girlfriend.

    Why would you take your girlfriend to a sleazy tit bar to impress her? You should just go for fun like we do.



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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  4. Lounge   -   #4
    MagicNakor's Avatar On the Peripheral
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    Then why buy carbonated piss with a cork stopper?

    things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia
    so, he does
    the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING"
    and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz"
    the russians fall back, all the way to moscow
    and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter
    the germans are like "wtf, h4x"
    -- WW2 for the l33t

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Cheese's Avatar Poster
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    I can't read work bricks, can someone please summarize.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheese View Post
    I can't read work bricks, can someone please summarize.
    Skizo and his mate take their burds to a sleazy strip club and some bloke asks Skizo's missus if she usually takes jizz full in the face.

    So they left.

    Skizo wasn't trying to impress her, they were just looking to have some fun.



    I'm all like wtf and that.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Cheese's Avatar Poster
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    I'm going to see the strippers when I go to Newcastle in November, the last time I went to the strippers in Newcastle was when I was 18 so hopefully it'll be the last stripper's daughter this time round.

    Crabgirl won't be allowed to come as she has to stay at my Aunt's and help the ladies prepare the men's Sunday roast.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    She'll be well happy. You know how women hate it when we men 'get under their feet' when they're making tea or cleaning something.

    Leaving the house while chores are being done is the ultimate way to communicate how considerate you are without having to actually speak.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    CrabGirl's Avatar Sexpest
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    Fuck off both of you.

    Crabgirl.
    This pump dispenses gasoline, a fossil fuel. People who believe fossils are not real should put something else in their tanks.

    .

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrabGirl View Post
    Fuck off both of you.

    Crabgirl.
    Hmm.

    I'll wager it's either the time of the month or he's left the toilet seat up again :sage:
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

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