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Thread: faulty fire alarm blues

  1. #1
    brenda's Avatar Reborn again BT Rep: +3
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    For the past 4 days the fire alarm in the mall behind my flat has gone off in the middle of the night (between 4 and 6am) its really starting to piss me off. Its alwalys a false alarm and there doesn't seem to be anyting i can do about it, the fire brigade eventually come out and disable it but the owner of the mall just aint doing anthing to sort it.
    This fate is worse than death. Condemned to live out existence in a vessel incapable of sustaining my true glory. How am I to function with such limitation? - Illyria

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    You could burn the building down.

    The fire putting out people probly won't respond till it's too late.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    I think you can report that sort of thing to the authorities, faulty alarms that never get fixed prolly count as disturbing the peace or something.


    It'd most certainly be possible here, not sure about there.

    Maybe getting fined would teach the bugger.



    EDit: You could sue him if it was in the U.S.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnnY View Post
    EDit: You could sue him if it was in the U.S.
    Do you really think a merkin court would hear the case.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Well, assuming that both the alarm, and Brenda were there at the time the alarm went off, I've got half a notion a lawsuit might work.

    All she'd need to do is claim it caused mental anguish, or that she'd tripped and hurt something when it woke her up, and presto

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Tempestv's Avatar Engineer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley View Post

    Do you really think a merkin court would hear the case.
    A Canadian man sues a New York coffee shop after suffering what he calls “damage to his manhood”. His penis somehow got pinched between the toilet seat and bowl while he was reaching forward for toilet paper. He is asking for $1 million to compensate for his "dire and permanent" injuries. His wife is also suing for $500,000, claiming her husband cannot perform his marital duties.

    An inmate in Tennessee, Gary Bradford Cone, sued the state because they have taken away his "right" to possess pornography (A new state law does not allow it.) Cone is currently on Death Row.

    Another Death Row inmate sued the author of a book that described the murders he had committed. The convicted killer asked for $60 million in damages, claiming that the book would make it difficult for him to find a job. (The case was eventually thrown out.)

    A man riding his bike home from work at night with no lights, only reflectors, was hit by a Jeep after the driver ran a stop sign. The bicyclist sued the bike manufacturer because he was not warned that reflectors might not be enough to prevent an accident. The man was awarded $6 million.

    A New York small-business owner is suing Air France after crew members broke down the bathroom door and pulled him out in front of other passengers, fully exposing him. A smoke alarm had gone off on the plane, and the crew members thought he was smoking. He is suing for $12 million.

    A young woman sued a nightclub after she fell out of a bathroom window, knocking out two of her front teeth. She won $12,000 plus dental expenses. (She fell from the window as she was attempting to sneak into the club to avoid the $3.50 cover charge.)

    A Philadelphia restaurant was sued after Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, slipped and broke her coccyx on a beverage that had been spilled on the floor. She was awarded $113,500. (Not bad, considering she had thrown the drink at her boyfriend during an argument 30 seconds earlier.)

    An inmate in a Virginia penitentiary has filed a lawsuit against himself, claiming that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested. He is suing for $5 million and is asking the state to pay, since he can't
    have an income in prison.

    A man is suing a strip club for $200,000. He claims that one of the strippers caused him "emotional distress, mental anguish, and indignity" when she bashed her breasts against his head. Carson also claimed to have been "bruised, confused, lacerated and made sore." The stripper's breasts are rumored to weigh up to 40 pounds each.

    A 27-year-old man was killed while rocking a vending machine that tipped over on him. The man was attempting to steal a drink out of the machine. Relatives in New York are suing for $400,000 in damages.

    A man who had purchased a BMW and found that some of the car had been repainted to cover acid-rain damage sued and won $3 million in damages. The garage where the car was purchased appealed the ruling, and the damage award was cut in half, to $1.5 million.

    A woman is suing a guide-dog school for $150,000 after a blind man allegedly stepped on her foot. A dog trained at the school was leading the man at the time.

    A phone-sex operator in Florida won a settlement after filing for worker's
    compensation, saying she had suffered repetitive-motion injuries in both hands. The repetitive motion was the result of using her hands to give herself as many as seven orgasms a day while talking to clients.

    The Anheuser-Busch Company was sued by a man for emotional distress, because he had no luck with the ladies after drinking their product.

    you can sue for any reason, and for any amount of money

    @brenda, don't you think your sleep is worth 1000, maybe 10,000 a minute?
    then you got to figure what the pain and suffering from being tired at work is worth, then lawyer fees on top of all that. couple million, I would figure.
    Plan for the worst, hope for the best

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    you should make a poll where we choose what to name the baby!

    anyone who wants to join the 'call Brenda's baby "Gepper" ' campaign contact me.. I need a press secretary and someone who knows first aid

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Quote Originally Posted by samsamsamsam View Post
    you should make a poll where we choose what to name the baby!

    anyone who wants to join the 'call Brenda's baby "Gepper" ' campaign contact me.. I need a press secretary and someone who knows first aid
    I know first aid, kinda'

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